The POPPING NOISES Heard ‘Round the World
Or, as I like to call it, the day journalism officially died
Exactly one minute after some popping noises scared some people at a Trump rally the attempted assassination of a former Commander in Chief and current presidential candidate, I got a text from a friend in a group string.
I couldn’t open X fast enough. I knew that the diligent and dedicated citizen journalists of the world would be on it.
Trump had been shot in the head. He went down—briefly—but had already gotten back up. He was alive. The entire situation could be assessed in three seconds and a single scroll.
Because I love to hate lamestream news—no seriously, if it were a paying job I’d be typing this from the aft deck of my superyacht—I couldn’t wait to see how the mockingbird media were presenting this broad-daylight, murderous attack on 45 to the zombified masses still ridin’-for-Biden.
Oh, CNN. Certainly no one can ever accuse you of using clickbait just to get page views. This is actually clickrepellant. Seeing that headline, this is the scenario that unfolds in my head: Trump was on stage talking about some yugely great things believe him when suddenly, Special Agent Andrews began singing “These Are a Few of My Favorite Things” at the top of her lungs, stealing the spotlight for a few cringy seconds before the Donald regained control and resumed his speech.
What? Is that not what happened?
Please note that in the photo NBC chose to accompany this breaking news story about some popping noises, Trump is visibly bleeding from the head. (NBC editor: “Maybe nobody will notice?”)
Also the subject of the NBC headline is Secret Service; the verb is rushing. Trump is the mere object upon which the rushing was perpetrated. Yawn. Just some bustling about and maybe some leftover fireworks self-ignited or something. NBD.
Journalism professor: “Okay, class. Today we’re going to discuss burying the lede. It’s an editorial tactic that involves taking the most important details of an event and obscuring them deep in the headline or story rather than presenting them clearly up front, at the beginning. I’d like each of you to take a stab at it.”
Future reporter for The Independent: “Wallace Hartley, British violinist and bandleader, delighted Titanic passengers with a stirring rendition of “Nearer, My God, to Thee,” as the 883-foot luxury liner tore through the icy, 28 degree (Fahrenheit) waters of the North Atlantic before hitting an iceberg and sinking, killing some 1,500 people.”
Journalism professor: “My God, son. You were born for this.”
LA Times journalist: “I don’t know, I wouldn’t describe them as popping sounds necessarily. They were more like… I think I’d probably just call ‘em loud noises.” How do these people even have jobs?
On that note and FWIW, “whisked away” generally has an implied element of delight. You get whisked away on a surprise vacation or in a horse-drawn carriage after your wedding ceremony. You get rushed into emergency surgery or off the stage after an attempt on your life. Semantics matter.
I have so many questions about Saturday’s assassination attempt—none of which are being answered by the corporate controlled media (word on the street is “journalists” were officially told to downplay the event and avoid using the word assassination).
EDITORS EVERYWHERE: Do not say that word. Don’t say it. Say anything else. [See also: the funniest fifteen seconds on the internet today.]
How did a guy with an AR-15 saunter up to a rooftop that gave him a clear shot at President Trump without being spotted or stopped?
Oh, he was spotted? But they did nothing to stop it? That’s not suss.
[On the “did nothing to stop it” front: a man claiming to be the person who ultimately took down the assassin claims he “had the shooter in his sights for three minutes before he shot at Trump but the Secret Service refused permission to fire.” Could anyone make this claim? Sure. I am not saying it is true. I’m suggesting it’s worth looking into this is a developing story and I’m not an investigator per se.]
How did security not spot the ladder going up to said rooftop? Wouldn’t it be, like, your tippy top priority to block access to the number one place assassins love to assassinate from?
Why on earth did the Secret Service let Trump stand back up shortly after being shot in the head? They couldn’t have known how iconic that fist pump photo would turn out to be, and it was incredibly unsafe and reckless of them to allow it without knowing for certain it was another “lone gunman” situation. Am I wrong?
Why are half of Trump’s security detail women a head-and-a-half shorter than he is? It’s almost like they want him not to be protected or something. Weird.
According to the FBI, the alleged shooter was Thomas Matthew Crooks, a registered Republican who didn’t even make the JV rifle team in high school. The Internet, however, thinks it was Maxwell Yearick, a professional protestor with a history of assaulting people in general and threatening Trump in particular. But the FBI wouldn’t lie to the public about something so profound… would they?
You’re a sniper on a mission to murder a president. You’ve got a front row, unobstructed view and a clear, direct shot. There’s no wind. You fire eight shots… and barely graze the guy’s ear? I mean, I’m thrilled and relieved that’s what happened don’t get me wrong, but it does make you wonder: Was it intentional? An inside job? Some folks are pretty convinced it was. (Obviously, they’re all raging right-wing conspiracy theorists so don’t pay any attention to them.)
Why did the SS kill the shooter? Couldn’t they have shot him in the kneecaps or something but left his mouth-part intact so they could ask him a few questions? Why do these people never consult me in situations like this?
This morning, I saw a revolting post on my Facebook feed. I’m not sure why I am generously hiding this mouth breather’s individual’s identity—as Anne Lamott said, “if people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better”—but suffice to say I unfriended her on the spot.
I legit don’t care which candidate you support or how you vote or whether or not you realize Bill Gates is the antichrist. If you’re openly lamenting a failed attempted homicide, you are dead to me forever. I won’t even pretend to not despise you next time we run into each other. I may even tell you to your face that you make me sick. I look forward to that, in fact.
As details of this event unfold, one thing is certain: If you care at all whether the information you consume is factual or reliable in any way, you might not want to rely on the MSM for your updates.
Need a laugh right now? I got you.
1. I’ve was a firefighter for 27 years. I’ve seen so many people shot over the years that should have been incapacitated, that I know the only way to neutralize a threat is to kill them. That should answer one of your questions.
2. There is no sharp shooter alive who would take a shot to clip someone’s ear at the risk of killing them. Anyone who says they could guarantee that shot, is lying.
3. The mainstream media and progressive left have warped Trump into a monster that must be killed, even with having seen with their own eyes during his presidency that he was good for the country. That’s some pretty strong propaganda.
4. The deep state/progressive left wants Trump dead. They’ve said as much publicly. Any human that can advocate killing an innocent unborn child, can perform any act of evil.
That is who we are up against.
Keep digging, we love your stuff.
I HATE the media. There is only one thing they are good at & that is lying. How do they even sleep at night or look at themselves in the mirror?? I say they’re demon possessed the only logical explanation.
My wish & prayer is that president Trump obtains his own private investigators to this assassination attempt. Something is not adding up. Praying for Trump
& his family. I can hardly imagine what his precious wife Melania Trump must be going through. ♥️🤍💙.
As always Jenna you are a breath of fresh air in this chemtrail atmosphere. Love ya.