Schools Cancel Student Picture Day Over Epstein Connections
Honestly, is there a dark and dusty corner of the globe that man *didn't* infiltrate?
Remember how Wayfair definitely wasn’t trafficking children because Wayfair said they definitely weren’t trafficking children? Well, if you’ve heard the rumors about Lifetouch—the company that takes photos of more than 25 million students across the U.S. and Canada every year—being implicated in the Epstein files, you can relax. According to USA Today, “Lifetouch said it is not named in the Epstein files.”
Technically, at least from what I’ve seen, they’re not lying. Lifetouch isn’t named in the Epstein files. But in 2019, while a man named Leon Black was running Apollo Global Management, funds managed by Apollo acquired Shutterfly, the parent company of Lifetouch. Black is in the Epstein files—and we’re not talking Page Six mentions or foundation donor rolls. The billionaire private equity investor and former chairman of the Museum of Modern Art is featured in a flurry of files related to horrific, violent sexual abuse of minors, stolen-art trafficking, and more. And although Black was one of the most successful hedge fund managers on the planet, he also allegedly paid Epstein $170 million for “tax and estate planning advice,” something that a) generally costs a few thousand bucks, and b) Epstein had no discernible credentials or training in.
So that’s curious.
As word of even a tangential connection between Lifetouch and Epstein tore across the internet, parents began panicking—wondering aloud if the company has been compiling the universe’s most exhaustive catalog of kids for pedos to choose from (complete with their home addresses and other identifiable info like age, grade, teacher, and school). Petitions popped up online demanding a “full, formal, public, and transparent investigation into how students' photos and other personal data was handled by Lifetouch and their affiliates.” (Shutterfly already paid out $6.75 million in 2021 for illegally collecting and storing customers’ biometric data without permission, but I’m sure they learned their lesson!)
In response, schools from Alaska to Alabama announced they were cancelling student picture day.
Like lots of Epstein “bombshells” going viral, this is not new information. Much of it has been public since 2021, when Black’s ties to Epstein were initially exposed and he resigned as CEO of Apollo. (His successor, Marc Rowan, wouldn’t-you-know-it, also appears in the Epstein files! It’s such a tiny little rock we inhabit.) Still, none of this was buried in a secret cave.
But most folks weren’t paying attention back then. Now the files are being re-released and re-examined, names are resurfacing, and more and more people are going full Beautiful Mind and playing high-stakes connect-the-dots. On the Meme Scale, I’d say we’re right about here:
Good morning, normies.
The larger horror isn’t that a photography company sits a few corporate layers downstream from a billionaire who paid Epstein. At this point, if you start playing Six Degrees of Epstein, you’re going to need a Texas-sized corkboard, a spool of red yarn, and a really good therapist, because you’d be hard-pressed to find a single major industry that doesn’t have some Epstein-adjacent executive lurking in its boardroom history.
Finance? Check.
Tech? Check.
Entertainment? Hahahahaha, you think?
Media? Obviously.
Academia? Please.
Philanthropy? Don’t make me laugh.
Royalty? Yes.
Presidents? Also yes.
The Epstein social network wasn’t a fringe cult. It was the VIP lounge of global power. So when people gasp, “Wait… Lifetouch? Schools?” the correct response is not “that’s inconceivable.” It’s: Welcome to the web.
You want to boycott companies with even the faintest connection to Epstein money? Better learn how to barter. We’re talking major banks, investment firms, universities, foundations, tech platforms, media conglomerates, museums, fashion houses, online retailers, political campaigns, and even—apparently—school portrait companies.
In a statement, Lifetouch said Apollo is “not involved in the day-to-day operations” of Lifetouch and that the company has never provided images to any third party. (And Bill Clinton said he never had sexual relations with that woman. Sorry, but expecting suspected lowlifes to be honest about their involvement in nefarious activities is like trusting a raccoon to guard your leftovers.)
In a separate emailed statement to Yahoo News, Apollo added that its funds did not acquire Shutterfly—Lifetouch’s parent company—until September 2019, two months after Epstein was jailed and one month after his death. Which is reassuring… if you stop reading right there, throw on a lavender eye mask, and flip on your white noise machine.
According to reports, Black wasn’t the only Apollo figure with Epstein-era overlap. The company’s current CEO, Marc Rowan, reportedly maintained regular contact with Epstein through 2016, long after his 2008 conviction for soliciting a minor. And Rowan wasn’t the lone wolf exec at the company to remain chummy with the serial predator.
♫♪♩♬♭♮♯ It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it. ♫♪♩♬♭♮♯
To be clear, prosecutors and survivors have not accused Rowan—or any Apollo executive besides Black—of involvement in Epstein’s crimes. Still, when your corporate orbit keeps intersecting with the same known pedophile over the span of a decade, people tend to raise an eyebrow.
So yes, it’s unsettling that the managing parent company of a school portrait conglomerate was run by a billionaire who wired nine figures to a convicted sex offender (and continues to employ a stable of folks with connections to Epstein). If you were hoping for a higher threshold for institutional filth, welcome to ContamiNation. Oh, you’re new here? Careful where you step; the sleaze is everywhere.
And it’s not just dirty-old-man muck. Because let’s also not pretend picture day is a wholesome celebration of crooked smiles and bad hair days. Like it or not, school photography is data harvesting with a side of nostalgia. Faces are biometric identifiers. Digital records are assets. And private equity firms don’t buy memories—they buy data. If there’s a story here, it may actually have less to do with pedophile panic and more to do with who owns, stores, and monetizes millions of children’s faces.
On the bright side, maybe this is a renaissance moment for local photographers who don’t report to a hedge fund. Maybe schools will rediscover the radical notion that art class can include, you know, cameras. Imagine students learning to frame a shot, adjust lighting, even develop their own photos instead of posing in front of a mottled blue backdrop that’s been circulating since 1987. Not only will our kids be safer, but maybe we can finally retire the tradition of paying $48 for a pair of wallet-sized mugshots for the grandparents.
P.S. If you need a fresh rabbit hole to dive down today, a relentlessly curious social media user put together an 18-minute video connecting a huge slew of infant and child tracking and entertainment companies directly to Leon Black, Epstein, Bill Gates, and more. We’re talking footprint technology for newborns, cloud storage providers, missing and exploited children’s organizations, even Chuck E. freaking Cheese. (But seriously, you guys, Pizzagate is just a silly, debunked conspiracy theory. Don’t be ridiculous.)
P.P.S. Don’t forget! Today’s your last day to download Tim Pallies’ The Trumansburg Project for free on Kindle. You won’t regret it. (If you missed Tim’s spotlight, you can check it out here.)
P.P.P.S. Where are my patriotic PR people at? I put this request out yesterday and honestly, was shocked to get ZERO replies… so I’m posting again: I have a dear friend in the publishing world looking for an extremely politically conservative publicist (a client’s specific request). Like, if this person isn’t wearing a MAGA hat in their LinkedIn profile pic, it’s probably not a fit (only a very slight exaggeration). If that describes you or someone you know, shoot me an email or DM me here and I’ll pass the info along.
"On the bright side, maybe this is a renaissance moment for local photographers who don’t report to a hedge fund."
As one of my passions is advocating for 'living local' I absolutely LOVE this point!
And yes, the data-harvesting is most unsettling, the hidden horror within the horror. I swear, I'm one scandal away from going full Luddite... 🤷🏻
Cancelling picture day is good a first step towards “Normies”discovering the satanic horrors of the Epstein Cabal.