Trump Taps New CDC Director

Spoiler: There's zero need to pull out the ice bucket and champagne flutes.

Apr 20, 2026

I know some of you may find this borderline blasphemous, but I was not a Charlie Brown fan growing up. Something about watching a kid get repeatedly humiliated for believing in basic human decency didn’t exactly scream “Saturday morning delight.” If my choices were Charlie Brown or go outside and find a stick to whittle, I’d have picked the stick every time.

CHARLIE BROWN: “I can’t believe it. She must think I’m the most stupid person alive.”
LUCY: “Come on, Charlie Brown. I’ll hold the ball and you’ll kick it.”
CHARLIE BROWN: “Hold it, ha! That’s a laugh. You’ll pull it away and I’ll kill myself!”
[Charlie trusts, Lucy pulls. Lesson: hope is a dangerous hobby]
LUCY: “What you have learned here today, Charlie Brown, will be of immeasurable value to you for many years to come.”

Every. Single. Time. (And yes, he actually said “I’ll kill myself.” I’d forgotten that part.)

After a year of chaos, promises, course corrections, and what looked—at least for a minute—like a genuine attempt to rip the federal health machine down to the studs, the whole MAHA thing is starting to feel like You’re a Sucker, Charlie Brown.

The latest letdown: Trump tapping Erica “Mandate Queen” Schwartz to run the CDC.

“Schwartz led nationwide Covid-19 vaccine deployment and has, with threat and force, mandated almost every major vaccine on civilians and military members, including mandating injection of smallpox, anthrax, and flu vaccines into U.S. Forces, and disciplining those who refused,” wrote attorney Aaron Siri. “This track record alone reflects she lacks the basic ethics and morals to lead the CDC.”

…” the *New York Times* wrote hopefully.

If you had asked MAHA supporters to sketch out their nightmare hire, you’d get Schwartz—or someone exactly like her. And rather than expressing disappointment with the decision, or saying nothing at all which would have at least hinted at disapproval, an increasingly neutered Kennedy applauded it. I mean, it wasn’t gushing or anything, but it was still more endorsement than regret or even resignation.

“Schwartz is currently employed at the universally hated UnitedHealthcare and has a long history of being a diehard pro-vax establishment figure in health,” wrote attorney Tom Renz. “She pushed and promoted vaccines in the military AND she was instrumental in Trump's response to the Covid outbreak.”
“As a reminder, Trump and his team locked us down, pushed masks, told our children it was unsafe to see their grandparents, made up social distancing, and was behind Operation Warp Speed—the biggest public health failure in history. He then gave Fauci a Presidential Commendation for doing it all. Schwartz was a part of it.”

While MAHA licks its wounds and tries to rationalize the latest betrayal, legions of Fauci fanboys and girls are taking history’s most annoying victory lap—complete with built-in pit stops for gloating.

The optics are flawless: Schwartz is a (biological!) woman. She’s Black. She’s a veteran. A physician. A public health lifer with a string of impressive-sounding letters after her name. Naturally, we’re being treated to the very serious argument that this is proof DEI doesn’t exist—because sometimes the most qualified candidate is a Black woman. Get over yourselves. Meanwhile, the other side is weaponizing the exact same set of facts: See? Trump isn’t a racist or a misogynist—look who he just appointed!

Which is all very interesting—and also completely beside the point. We were promised radical transparency. Gold standard science. An overhaul of the vaccine schedule—no, the entire agency. And instead, we got… Fauci in heels.

Thoughts and prayers from the ever diplomatic Dr. Jane Ruby.

It feels like a cave. It feels like a sellout. It feels like midterm math. It feels like someone paid attention to some polls, looked at the Senate confirmation reality, and said, “Fine. Give them someone they can live with.”

“Her candidacy has already won praise on Capitol Hill, generating hope within the administration that she’ll win quick confirmation,” CNN wrote.

I refuse to speculate that this is more of that 5D chess—Trump attempting to expose the agenda by putting one of their proponents in the director’s chair. (I’m onto you, Lucy.) I can no longer rule out the possibility that Bobby has been compromised, or threatened, or blackmailed, or simply told “you can have your red dye ban, or you can have literally nothing at all” and the man grudgingly embraced the slightly-less-awful option. I’ll leave it to Optimist-in-Chief Jeff Childers—the only guy I know who can routinely out-Pollyanna me—to sprinkle a metric ton of rose-colored glitter all over this mess for us later this morning.

But.

I can see a tiny, undeniable glimmer of hope at the end of this dark, familiar tunnel: HHS still trumps CDC. Kennedy’s position is Cabinet-level and comes with power to oversee the CDC’s budget, functions, and personnel. The CDC can propose rules, but only the HHS Secretary has the authority to execute and publish those rules in the Federal Register. And only the HHS Secretary or the President can formally declare a Public Health Emergency. In other words, he’s still the boss of her.

Even the MSM realizes this—and they’re being open about how anxious it makes them.

“Experts worry Schwartz’s fate could be similar to that of [her brief predecessor Susan] Monarez: another person who understands how government is supposed to function and has a background in making science-based decisions given a job she isn’t allowed to do,” Stat News wrote.
“Others are worried that with her long history in the military—Schwartz served in the Navy and the Coast Guard—she will follow orders, even if it means putting in place policies that are not backed by science.”
“‘It’s not about her. It’s about what the secretary’s going to do,’ Daniel Jernigan, a former CDC center director who quit in protest of Monarez’s firing, told STAT. ‘She could be terrible, she could be great. But it’s really: What is the secretary going to allow?’”

They’re not popping champagne. They’re crossing their fingers. Will she have any real authority? Will she be allowed to stop the Kennedy crazy train in its tracks? Will she be able to rewind the clock back to those halcyon days of 2019, when Americans trusted the science without having to be told to Trust the Science™? Or is she just a temporary course correction to help Republicans right the ship before November?

If RFK Jr. has been sidelined completely—as many now openly suspect—then so be it. What can we do? That’s the story. But if he hasn’t? If the structure is still in place, if the decision-making still flows the same way, if this is basically about putting a body in the chair—maybe just long enough to get through the midterms—then what, exactly, is Erica Schwartz walking into? A title? An office? An official-looking seat at a table where the menu’s already been decided?

To be fair, you could’ve said the same thing about Kennedy—that he’d just be a figurehead with a pulse in a big office. The difference is, he’s already shown he can move things, even in an openly hostile environment. He’s dragged a bunch of long-ignored issues into the spotlight and completely changed what we’re even allowed to talk about. The question with Schwartz isn’t whether the role has power. It’s whether she’ll be allowed to use it.

I know what some of you (hi, Vee!) are going to say. And I told you already, I’m done trusting Lucy. I just haven’t entirely given up on Charlie Brown yet.

What do you think? Let ‘er rip below!

Jenna’s Side

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