The Making of Mount Trumpmore
Your liberal friends might need a hug.
If you thought POTUS’s outrageous promise to rid the country of violent criminals was the thing that was going to send Democrats spiraling into a their most-frenzied-yet maelstrom of apoplectic fury, just wait until you get a load of this: Last week, Florida Congresswoman Anna Paulina Luna introduced legislation to have none other than Donald J. Trump’s face added to the legendary façade of Mount Rushmore.
[*imagines actual sound of millions of progressive heads exploding in unison*]
A quick history refresher: In 1923, South Dakota historian Doane Robinson had an idea to boost tourism in the state’s picturesque Black Hills: What if they carved a few famous figures into the Needles rock formations? Robinson envisioned Western heroes like Lewis and Clark, Sacagawea, and Buffalo Bill Cody, but sculptor Gutzon Borglum had a different vision, selecting Mount Rushmore as the canvas and choosing Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt to represent the nation's founding, expansion, preservation, and development.
Sacagawea would have been cool.
Construction of the Shrine of Democracy, as Borglum initially christened it, took place between 1927 and 1941, with nearly 400 workers contributing to the project. Remarkably, 90% of the carving was accomplished using dynamite, and despite challenging conditions, there were no fatalities on the job site. The total cost was approximately $990,000, equivalent to about $19 million today when adjusted for inflation.
For comparative purposes, even the adjusted price is less than USAID spent producing an Arabic language version of Sesame Street in Iraq.
Oh, and Mount Rushmore is built on land that was illegally taken from the Sioux Nation in the 1800s. In 1980, the Supreme Court awarded the Sioux $102 million in compensation. They refused it—as accepting the money would have meant forfeiting all claims to the sacred land—and continue to demand the property be returned to them.
On a related note, the U.S. government is historically despicable.
At a press conference that happened only in my head, unflinching White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt fielded questions about this monumental (get it?) proposal to add the mug belonging to the nation’s most notorious felon to the iconic landmark.
REPORTER: Seriously, Karoline, what in the actual—
LEAVITT: Isn't it tremendous? This will be the greatest addition to the National Park System in history, with the ability to fundamentally transform President Trump’s legacy. Our only regret is that nobody proposed it during his first term.
REPORTER: Have you even thought about how TDS sufferers are going to react?
LEAVITT: Quite frankly, President Trump does not care. In fact, he believes that adding his likeness to Mount Rushmore will be the perfect cure for Trump Derangement Syndrome—after all, they say facing your fears is the first step in conquering them.
REPORTER: Who's paying for this?
LEAVITT: We're thinking Mexico. They didn't pay for the wall, so we feel this is fair.
REPORTER: Has there been any public referendum to gauge national support for this proposal?
LEAVITT: The American people have spoken—at rallies, on social media, in astronomical MAGA hat and commemorative Trump Coin sales figures. Any denial of overwhelming support is fake news.
REPORTER: What does DOGE have to say about it?
LEAVITT: The DOGE team loves it. So much awesome. Very carve.
REPORTER: Given the environmental impact, have any ecological assessments been conducted?
LEAVITT: President Trump is committed to the American people and, I may add, the environment they care so deeply about. That's why we are only allowing the legal residents who work on the project to use recycled tools made in America to chisel his likeness directly into the existing granite, minimizing the need for additional materials and preserving the natural landscape. In President Trump’s words, carve, baby, carve!
REPORTER: Do you have anything to say to people who oppose the addition?
LEAVITT: Get on the Trump train or step aside. Real leadership in America is back. Big league.
REPORTER: Considering the current political polarization, is this initiative seen as unifying or divisive?
LEAVITT: We think the unveiling will be our great nation’s most unifying moment since 9/11. Everyone loves a good monument.
REPORTER: Will the monument's name be changed to reflect this addition?
LEAVITT: There’s been an enthusiastic movement to rename the monument Mount Trumpmore, which we agree does have a nice ring to it. We’ll keep you posted.
REPORTER: How does the administration justify this addition in light of President Trump's two impeachments and ongoing legal controversies?
LEAVITT: Two impeachments, zero convictions. I’d call that winning.
REPORTER: Is there a contingency plan in place if the monument's structural integrity can't support the weight of President Trump's ego?
LEAVITT: The monument is strong like our great president, but if needed, we'll build it back better.
REPORTER: How does the administration plan to address concerns that the monument's existing presidents might feel overshadowed by such a 'tremendous' addition?
LEAVITT: They had their time. Plus, they’re dead. It's President Trump's turn to shine.
REPORTER: Has an artist been selected yet?
LEAVITT: Well, actually…
REPORTER: Will there be a designated area for visitors to take selfies?
LEAVITT: Absolutely. We’re commissioning a sign that reads “Welcome to the Most Instagrammable Spot in America” and have already hired the hawk tuah girl to manage the PR campaign.
REPORTER: Will there be a special ceremony to unveil the new carving?
LEAVITT: Of course. The Village People, Carrie Underwood and Kid Rock have formed a supergroup called Covfefe just for the occasion and will be debuting their first single, God Bless Trumplandia. It's going to be—as President Trump would say—yuge. Thank you and God bless America!
Rep Luna is deliberately trolling Democrats and they can’t see it. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏻. Love it. It worked. Thank you Rep Luna. If the liberal loonies there are hollering about waste of time, , blah blah, they should consider very carefully what they themselves added to the wastage that has caused real damage.
Although it is an impressive several weeks, virtually all of it is via EOs that can be easily reversed w/ the stroke of a different pen. All of them will only restore sanity & true freedom to America if they are codified into law. And I still want to know why he met w/ Gates (instead of having him arrested) to discuss more mRNA.