Nurse Films Self Being Vile; Shocking Consequences Ensue

Want some unsolicited professional advice, kids? Maybe don't upload your depravity to TikTok.

Just when you think your fellow man has reached the bottom rung of repugnance, one of them rushes out to prove you wrong. The honor this week goes to Lexie Lawler, a woman who openly and profanely hopes pregnant White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt “rips from bow to stern” during delivery and “never [empties her bowels] normally again.”

Repulsive, right? I mean, who would even think such a thing—much less film it and upload it to the digital town square? Obviously only someone with severe mental illness. It gets worse, though. Lawler is (hopefully was) a labor and delivery nurse—someone whose literal job is to protect and care for women and infants.

Lawler was gainfully employed at Baptist Health hospital in Boca Raton, Florida when she thought it would be a swell idea to record herself wishing catastrophic perineal trauma on Leavitt, who is expecting her second child. In a record-breaking lapse in institutional cowardice, the hospital promptly fired the foul-mouthed nurse. One can only hope her résumé is permanently watermarked UNEMPLOYABLE in 72-point Comic Sans.

It’s the “Thanks!” for me.

Before anyone says it: yes, free speech is real—and it’s spectacular. You can utter almost anything in this country without being arrested; that privilege is hardwired right into the American operating system. But being a rock star, free speech also has an entourage—namely “ramifications,” “repercussions,” and “hahahaha you really thought your employer would never see that?”—that follow him everywhere he goes.

LEAVITT: “My heart is overflowing with gratitude to God for the blessing of motherhood, which I truly believe is the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.”

LAWLER: “I hope your remaining days on this planet are filled with pain, swelling, infection, and lasting anal incontinence, you [mother-of-all-unprintable-slurs]!”

Tell me liberalism is a disease without telling me liberalism is a disease.

This isn’t complicated. If you can’t think a hateful thought and then keep it in your brain without spewing it all over social media and proving you lack both discernment and even rudimentary impulse control, you should probably get comfortable with unemployment. If you publicly fantasize about another human being suffering a serious and painful injury, people are going to question your moral compass, your sanity, or both. And if you throw in some vulgarity and proceed to identify yourself by profession, that’s not bravely exercising your constitutional rights; that’s career skydiving without a parachute.

You’ll never guess what happened next. (Fine, you’ll totally guess. This is definitely not your first rodeo.)

From Lexi’s gofundme page:

Lexie Lawler was fired for political speech.

She is a liberal woman who used her personal social media — on her own time — to sharply criticize a public figure tied to a cruel, harmful administration. Her words were blunt, angry, and unapologetic. They were directed at power, not her workplace.

That speech was lawful.

The retaliation was real.

After right-wing backlash and online targeting, her employer chose risk management over free expression — and terminated her instead of standing up for her rights.

This is part of a familiar pattern:

Outspoken women punished

Political dissent labeled “unprofessional”

Institutions caving to outrage campaigns

A chilling effect meant to keep people quiet

Translation: She did something stupid, so we’re going to try to monetize it. (We’re liberals! That’s what we do.)

And here’s the kicker: her TikTok account isn’t some buried archive of mildly questionable opinions—it’s an unbroken, foul-mouthed montage of her snarling into the camera, cursing out “white women who voted for Trump” with her middle finger permanently flexed, and generally behaving like someone you wouldn’t trust with a houseplant, let alone a newborn. Clearly “political speech” wasn’t the problem. It was the unapologetic crossing of the line between being outspoken and downright sadistic.

To be clear, Lawler didn’t sharply criticize anyone. She issued a graphic, anatomically specific curse on a woman who is carrying another human being inside of her body. But we’re supposed to excuse Lawler because she didn’t cast the spell from the nurses’ station while on the clock? Mkay.

It’s a bold—albeit expected—attempt at putting a defensive spin on the indefensible, but in reality Lawler wasn’t punished for dissent. Her speech had nothing to do with politics. She wasn’t silenced by anyone’s outrage—she was simply deemed unfit to hold a position that requires compassion, conscience, or just slightly more decency than a rabid badger. (But please give her money anyway!) The only thing she is a victim of is her own abysmal decisions.

What makes this whole thing even more outrageous is the tone of moral heroism these people adopt when they get fired for saying the deranged part out loud. As if gleefully hoping for a stranger’s suffering is some grand act of political resistance. For the record: it’s really not. It’s just psychopathy, followed by the consequences of broadcasting your dysfunction and expecting a standing ovation.

Of all the major media players, only FOX News and Newsweek touched the story. Can you imagine if the political positioning were reversed—if a conservative nurse were telling Jen Psaki she prays her lady parts rupture like an overworked sewer pipe during one of the most profound and emotional moments a woman can experience? The news cycle would last longer than a Siberian winter. Everyone knows it. But because the vitriol was aimed at a MAGA conservative, we’re expected to believe this was “standing up to authoritarianism” or “speaking truth to power” [*throws up a little bit*] and not “unhinged, foaming-at-the-mouth TDS on full, unmedicated display.”

If anything, this entire fiasco should be memorialized on plaques and sold at HomeGoods. Not “Live, Laugh, Love,” but “Think Before You Post,” maybe with an outline of Lawler holding up her pink slip. An inspirational, wall-mounted reminder that your mouth may be yours to do with as you please, but your employment badge belongs to HR.

I have a feeling this is going to get… spicy. Let’s go!

Order here.