Will I Ever Learn?

(Spoiler: No, I will not.)

Once upon a time, I had a robust social media presence and thousands of followers. I routinely shared hilarious-to-me memes and endearing posts about my handsome hubby and my spectacular spawn and my award-winning books and that one random charley horse that nearly killed me in the middle of the night. I liked it when people liked my posts, and for the most part people did.

Publicly I was areligious, apolitical, and only pretended to be acrimonious for laughs. I called myself a “sit down comedian;” I was there to bring the funny. Fighting on Facebook? What sort of psychopath did that?

Me: Hahahahahahaha.

Director: Cue the plandemic.

Two things turned out to be true: 1) speaking your (anti-narrative) mind and questioning the alphabet agencies was not the ticket to social media popularity, and 2) I was lousy at sucking up to the judges. As a human being with a conscience, I wasn’t nearly as interested in stockpiling followers as I was in sharing life-saving information and encouraging intelligent, critical thought. As a result, I may have been involved in a few minor spats mid-level tiffs major pissing matches epic knock-down-drag-outs online.

The sheeple who were buying into the hype did not like what I had to say. It made them nervous, angry, scared, confused, and defensive. Lots of them whispered about me behind my back. (This isn’t me being paranoid; actual friends told me so.) Some would swing by just to like any nasty comment on my feed. Several called me selfish, ignorant or worse. A few told me to die. Scores unfollowed me. It wasn’t just a purge; it was a social media high colonic.

Unfortunately, not everyone who disagreed with me unfriended me.

Not Sarah, bless her heart.

I have never met Sarah, nor could I even tell you where she lives or what she looks like or how we first connected. We’ve been Facebook Fakebook “friends” for years, and here is everything I know about her:

• She claims to work in healthcare.

• We have seventeen mutual friends.

• She believes every syllable of The Narrative.

• She is convinced she can change my mind by quoting the CDC and the WHO.

Her first DM to me was in response to a story I posted:

This was in June of 2022, and the serum allergy theory was a new one to me. As was calling post-vaccine deaths “gossip.” This was my reply:

Was this what they were telling medical staff? “Oh, damn. Another allergic reaction. So sad.” (Also, note Sarah is especially proud of having had this discussion many times with physicians, and feels strongly about sharing what actual medical experts have to say on medical matters. At this point I’m thinking maybe Sarah worked the coffee cart in Urgent Care or was part of the janitorial crew.)

Not responding was not an option.

Sarah left me on read with that one, so it was clear she wasn’t interested in actual discourse or debate. I was not surprised.

Every other week or so, Sarah would comment on my stories, making it abundantly clear that she was all in on the jabs, the masks, the mandates, and the rest of the madness. I tried my best to ignore her—

“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." ~Mark Twain

—until she trotted out the egg-based serum theory again and then followed it with a claim that the COVID vaccines “have no higher incidences of issues than any other vaccine [emphasis mine].”

I was getting mighty tired of being nice to Sarah.

I then sent her a string of links to the Pfizer Violation Tracker, a summary of Pfizer’s fraud settlement, shocking vaccine/miscarriage data, VAERS, and this heartbreaking, impassioned speech by Naomi Wolf.

I hope you are sitting down, gentle reader, because this was Sarah’s response:

TL/DR: It’s all Trump’s fault.

That’s fair? But if people were dying it would be publicized from all corners of the world?

THIS IS WHAT WE ARE UP AGAINST, PEOPLE.

I knew it was the literal definition of insanity, but I sent Sarah another string of links, which she replied to with a passive-aggressive parade of thumbs-up emojis.

If you listen closely, you can hear Sarah’s sarcastic “thanks” with each one.

Over the next many months, Sarah would respond to my stories here and there—most of them about another poor soul who had #DiedSuddenly—with comments like this one *you honestly cannot make this stuff up*:

Mind you these were not conversations we were having; at no point did I ask Sarah for her opinions on vaccination. These were her unsolicited reactions to my posts.

As a study in propaganda, Sarah was fascinating to me. Weeks would pass blissfully without a peep, and then suddenly she’d slide into my DMs just to discredit this post or that story with a flip “that guy’s not even a virologist.” [If you see Sarah drowning, please do not throw her a life preserver unless you’re a licensed, board-certified lifeguard.]

They didn’t just get her to buy into the lies, they had her working *for* them, parroting their messaging, trying to convert me! Hahahahahaha she honestly had no idea who or what she was up against.

Sarah is clearly a raging ageist. Surely, we don’t want someone with decades of experience looking into these things; we want someone fresh out of The Rockefeller School of Medicine!

“We should absolutely ask a LOT of questions and demand answers! Here’s a handy CDC link! See, they’re not pretending no one’s had a bad reaction! It looks relistic [sic] to me!”

I had all but stopped responding to Senseless Subjugated Sarah, but then she had the nerve to attack ivermectin.

Oh, well I didn’t know every one of the doctors was groaning loudly! Never mind, then. Carry on.

I know y’all are going to say she’s a bot, but she’s not. She’s an actual person that other actual people I know also know. I swear.

If this were a sitcom, you would now be watching the episode called Sarah Gets Sanctimonious.

The. Government. Isn’t. Conspiring. Against. Us. Really.

Really?

WARNING: GRAPHIC LANGUAGE ENSUES BUT HONESTLY CAN YOU BLAME ME? I THINK I DESERVE A TROPHY FOR HOLDING BACK THIS LONG, TBH.

I didn’t even get a thumbs-up on that one.

Sarah resumed her snide side drive-by comments and for a good year and I continued to ignore them. To be honest, other than the initial is-this-a-real-person-or-a-bot check, I’ve never gone to Sarah’s profile page, never watched a single one of her stories. (In fairness to Sarah, I despise Fakebook and don’t really look at anyone’s profile or stories; I post to IG and my stories populate there, too, so I do check Fakebook messenger on occasion.) But Sarah clearly lives on there, and obviously she cannot stop herself from commenting on everything I post. This was just a few weeks ago:

What’s the motive for nerds to want to kill us? Apparently Sarah doesn’t know that the world’s Chief Nerd comes from a long line of eugenicists.

Spoiler #2: Sarah did not unfollow me.

I’d laugh if I weren’t busy trying not to poke my own eyes out. Sarah thinks she “got me!” Am I really so silly that I think people are plotting to hurt us? Hmm??

Spoiler #3: Sarah will not search these things on rumble or bitchute.

On the bright side hahahahahahaha I have a good heart! Thanks, Sarah. I appreciate the kind words. They mean so much coming from someone as sensible and shrewd as you.

I’m actually jealous of Sarah. I’d love to live her “they’re out to help us” life forever—or even for a day. Fine, fifteen minutes. I wish every organization being corrupt was a false reality, and that I didn’t have to spend my days trying to warn and protect people about things, especially people who don’t heed or appreciate my warnings. I miss pre-Covid Jenna. She was really fun. But she’s got a job to do—namely, wake people up—and she’s going to do it or die trying.

Need a hearty laugh or just a massive sigh of relief after Sarahpocalypse? Yankee Doodle Soup will not disappoint.