Trump's Got the Country by the Ballroom
Elite outrage builds to historic new highs. (*See what I did there?)
Unless you’ve been enjoying a news fast or hiding in a classified document storage closet, you’ve undoubtedly heard that Donald Trump just took a wrecking ball to the White House. The East Wing’s coming down, a $300 million ballroom is going up, and democrats are acting like he’s installing a gilded Chick-fil-A on the National Mall.
Want to know the wildest part? Hearing Chelsea Clinton wax poetic about the sanctity of the White House—as though her family didn’t once treat it like a combination brothel, daycare center, and legal defense fund.
She starts off misty-eyed:
“I always knew it wasn’t my house. It was the People’s House.”
That’s very touching, Chelsea. Especially since while you were playing hide-and-seek in the West Wing, your dad was playing hide the cigar in the Oval Office with an intern.
Chelsea’s latest op-ed laments Trump’s ongoing White House renovations—specifically, the reworking of the East Wing into a 90,000-square foot ballroom. She’s unsettled. Trump is erasing history. She calls the overhaul “cementification,” as if the man is pouring concrete over democracy itself. What she leaves out: Trump isn’t using a penny of taxpayer funds but is instead paying for the project himself (with donor support)—a move virtually unheard of in modern politics.
By contrast, past “People’s House” remodels have been both pricey and numerous. Truman’s gut renovation cost about $5.7 million—roughly $70 million today—paid for by your parents and grandparents. FDR put in a pool. Nixon ripped it out. Jackie Kennedy redecorated the state rooms and refashioned the White House into a televised museum. And Obama’s $376 million White House makeover? Sorry you’ll never get to use the basketball court you helped pay for.
The new ballroom, according to renderings, will hold up to a thousand guests and feature sweeping views of the Washington Monument. Trump calls it “the finest ballroom in the country,”—hahahaha of course he does—something I can see him saying just so that he could build it and prove himself right. The space is meant for state dinners, official events, and cultural performances (not hosting spirit cooking dinners or storing tens of thousands of “personal” emails). Think “Extreme Makeover: Presidential Edition,” but with more hysteria, lots of gold, and fewer throw pillows.
Of note, the East Wing that’s being reworked isn’t part of the property’s original blueprint. It was added in 1942, during FDR’s presidency, and happens to sit on top of a wartime bunker. Preservationists now claim that demolishing parts of an 83-year-old addition “undermines the White House’s historical integrity.” Which is cute, considering that the entire wing was built to hide an emergency shelter.
So yes, Chelsea, Trump wants to rebuild the East Wing into what some AWFLs (and AWMLs) are calling “a gilded vanity project,” a “tacky, gaudy, nasty symbol of excess,” and “an insult to the American people.” At least he’s not stealing the furniture or renting out the Lincoln Bedroom like it’s his personal Airbnb. Ahem.
That other annoying Clinton couldn’t resist sharing her thoughts on the construction on social media; in response, the metaverse did not disappoint. (And even though Hillary—wisely—has comments turned off, clever folks have figured out a workaround.)
Chelsea writes, “Our greatness doesn’t come because we ignore our history—it comes because we acknowledge it.”
A noble sentiment from someone whose family literally invented selective memory. History, in this case, seems to start the moment her father left office and the drapes stopped smelling like scandal.
Trump, meanwhile, is doing something unusual for a president: actually improving government property on his own dime. No embezzlement, no congressional earmarks, no “unexpected” artwork disappearances. Just a man with a shovel, some private funding, and a knack for knowing exactly how to trigger the left.
The newly repurposed East Wing reportedly will include improved security infrastructure, a new kitchen, a portico (the fancy term for a covered porch or entrance), and office space for the first lady. In other words, it’s not a presidential man cave—it’s a major upgrade. And again, he’s paying for it.
Despite the meltdowns, the addition is being built by preservation architects to strengthen, not sabotage, the White House. The same people whining about the updates seem oddly quiet about the part where it’s also going to be a lot less likely to cave in.
Every president leaves a mark on the Executive Mansion. Some build ballrooms, some lie under oath about what happened there. It’s the epitome of free will. The American Dream meets This Old House. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in action!
Chelsea ends her piece with:
“What was dismantled today isn’t just marble or plaster; it is a reflection of how easily history can be erased when power forgets purpose.”
A touching sentiment from the heir of the family who’s made a career out of erasing history.
I don’t recall Chelsea getting up in arms when statues of Jefferson and Washington were removed and defaced.
That Bill Clinton photo is everything