Trump Gets the Royal Treatment; Kimmel Gets Canned
From pomp and pageantry to prime-time purgatory, hump day was a doozy.
A friend sent me a video of the epic, over-the-top, fairytale greeting Donald and Melania Trump received when they arrived at Windsor Castle yesterday for a three-day state visit hosted by King Charles. “UK Welcomes Trump Like a King,” the caption roared. And indeed the scene looked like something you’d see in The Princess Diaries or a live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast.
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“It’s so weird,” I wrote back, “to think that while I’m waiting for the blue haired barista with the septum ring to nuke my egg bites, there are grown-ass men dressed up like nutcrackers pulling princes and presidents around in gilded pumpkin wagons.”
It’s weird, right?
I know we fought an entire war so we wouldn’t have to bow to people just because of their last name, but it’s sort of funny that we forsook a country famous for ladies in fancy hats waving from balconies to create a brand new one where we fawn over publicity whores in invisible dresses who are famous for being famous. They’ve got actual kings; we’ve got Kardashians. Sigh.
The purpose of the presidential mission is mainly trade talks and old-fashioned elbow rubbing—and the whole thing is being sprinkled with every ounce of royal glitter Britain can muster. Sky News called the kickoff “the ultimate welcome.”
Trump’s visit isn’t only historic for the over-the-top reception. POTUS just became the first elected political leader to be granted not one but two state visits by the British. Even the mainstream press admitted that fact was a jaw-dropper, calling it a mark of the deep respect the UK has for the United States. “It’s pomp and pageantry on a scale no other foreign leader has been given in living memory,” Britain’s loudest blowhorn Piers Morgan marveled. (Take that, Brussels. And Biden.)
Of course, American media insists on telling a slightly different story. Peep the contrast:
Calm down, CNN. Yes, wherever Trump goes, protestors will gather. You did not just discover the earth’s second moon.
Outside Windsor Castle, a small, extraordinarily polite gaggle of protesters was waving their crude (in every way) homemade signs and chanting “Donald Trump has got to go, hey-hey, ho-ho!” and “Out, out, out, Trump, Trump, Trump” (I swear I am not making that up). It’s literally the most British thing I have ever seen.
CNN’s piece breathlessly reports that “around 5,000 people marched through the capital.” Breaking news: in a city of nine million, a couple thousand people managed to walk in a circle. Call the history books! Meanwhile, Chinese state media pegged the quaint Windsor crowd at “nearly 100 residents,” which looks about right if you actually watch the clips.
Even though the First Couple has only just arrived, the drama started earlier this week, when an activist group that proudly calls itself Everyone Hates Elon unfurled a massive poster of Trump and Jeffrey Epstein on the grass outside Windsor Castle.
“Trump is coming to the UK to AVOID the EPSTEIN story,” the group posted alongside photos of the 4,300 square foot lawn blanket which bears a photo of the two men taken twenty-seven years ago. The very same image was projected onto the side of Windsor Castle by another group of protestors, who were promptly arrested. (Seriously, can we get these guys some new fodder? Perhaps a fresh talking point or two? Who knew “everything Trump does is to deflect from something Epstein-related” had spread to crumpet country? )
Trump hilariously broke royal protocol literally within seconds of landing in the UK by recklessly touching Prince William’s arm after the pair shook hands. At one point, he also had the nerve to walk in front of King Charles—whose arm he also touched, I mean, what is wrong with him?—when apparently everyone but bumbling stooges know that you always walk behind His Majesty. Bowing is also highly encouraged, although not mandatory. (Trump did not bow.)
So yeah, POTUS touched a few arms. He lost his place in line. In all likelihood, he sat in the wrong chair, used the wrong fork, and—let’s face it—probably forgot to flush. (Trump: “Listen, folks, if it’s yellow, you let it mellow. Everybody knows it.”)
And yet… look around. The carriages rolled, the Red Arrows flew, the horses pranced, the Chewbacca-leg hats were on full display, and the Brits treated Trump like he was the blueblood.
The mainstream press can spin it however they want, but it’s obvious the United Kingdom clearly prefers the guy with the gold tie over the one with the teleprompter.
***In important news on this side of the pond, Jimmy Kimmel Live! has been indefinitely suspended over the host’s irresponsible and inflammatory comments regarding Charlie Kirk. (Kimmel: “We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it.”) The left, of course, is screaming censorship; the right is shrugging and muttering F* Around, Find Out, dude.
I’ll point out for my progressive friends that the First Amendment ensures that the government can’t lock you up for saying something they don’t like; it does not promise you there won’t be societal, financial, or professional consequences for being a schmuck (see: Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Roseanne Barr, Kanye West, et al.)
I try to never take joy in anyone else’s pain… but there’s something almost poetic about American royalty being toppled today, in this way, isn’t there?
You’re getting TWO polls today, so LMK what you think. :)
Here in Canada so many people have TDS. It's because we literally have no conservative news. The government funds all the news channels and owns one of them (CBC). Our ridiculous PM - elitist, eco grifter, Vice Chair of Brookfield - said he'd stand up to Trump (Elbows up) - he didn't, he couldn't. Then he said we'd trade with the UK. Looks like Trump beat him to it. It you think the US has troubles - Canada has literally fallen.
It's gross to see actual hateful celebration of the death of someone by so many on the left who consider themselves morally superior, but celebrating censorship in any form is super dangerous. I think this is the big play that the social manipulators are hoping that we continue to support. Don't fall for it. Censorship is never good, especially when we are begging for big brother and big tech to do the censoring.