The Spin Doctor is back

A recap of Little Mr. Can't-Be-Wrong's predictable, pathetic testimony

Despite exactly zero lamestream media coverage, sweeping bookstore bans, and a relentless litany of hit pieces against the author, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s The Real Anthony Fauci has sold more than a million copies and made its improbable, jubilant way onto the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Publishers Weekly and Amazon bestseller lists. As of this writing, the treatise has 25,530 mostly five-star reviews, although to be fair, a few readers did have issues with it.

Note to anonymous: Amazon sells cheaters, too!

Note to Rose: Amazon has an extremely generous exchange policy (with free shipping both ways)!

Note to Ladyhawke2: You accidentally posted a review of your shitty wi-fi to this book’s page. LMK if you need help removing it.

Note to Amazon Customer: YOU ARE THE ACTUAL, SINGULAR REASON HUMANITY IS DOOMED.

True, a wee percentage of readers gave it a one-star rating for being “an encyclopedia for conspiracy lovers” *waves hand wildly* and “Trump bashing political crap,” but overwhelmingly, TRAF has been deemed an eye-opening (if infuriating) exposé. From the book’s Amazon listing:

The Real Anthony Fauci reveals how “America’s Doctor” launched his career during the early AIDS crisis by partnering with pharmaceutical companies to sabotage safe and effective off-patent therapeutic treatments for AIDS. Fauci orchestrated fraudulent do-nothing studies, and then pressured US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulators into approving a deadly chemotherapy treatment he had good reason to know was worthless against AIDS. Fauci did the unthinkable and repeatedly violated federal laws to allow his Pharma partners to use impoverished and dark-skinned children as lab rats in beyond order, deadly experiments with toxic AIDS and cancer chemotherapies.

In early 2000, Fauci shook hands with Bill Gates in the library of Gates’ $147 million Seattle mansion, cementing a partnership that would aim to control an increasingly profitable $60 billion global vaccine enterprise with unlimited growth potential. Through funding leverage and carefully cultivated personal relationships with heads of state and leading media and social media institutions, the Pharma-Fauci-Gates alliance exercises dominion over global health policy and our beautiful country.

Probably not even hyperbolic, TBH.

Kennedy’s blockbuster of a book has been in circulation for more than three-and-a-half years, a timespan certainly long enough for Fauci to file a handful of libel or defamation suits if he felt he had been unjustly portrayed. So why didn’t he? The typical excuses for a reluctance to litigate don’t really apply to the country’s former chief medical advisor. Cost? Fauci, whose net worth ballooned to more than $11 million during the pandemic, was also the highest paid federal employee in US history. The man could afford to blow a few bucks to defend his own (dubious) honor. Time? What else does the 83-year-old retiree have to do (besides bellyache about the threats he’s received in the wake of his pharmaceutical peddling spree what on earth do you expect when you force millions of people to take a deadly, experimental drug)? A lack of collectible assets? Bobby Kennedy has an estimated net worth of $15 million; it’s not like he’s some uninsured, illegal alien undocumented immigrant who rear-ended Fauci at a stoplight. The only reason you wouldn’t sue the pants off someone who made outrageous, injurious, untrue claims about you… is if they weren’t untrue. Right?

(I’m sure you’ll correct me if I’ve overlooked a valid defense for Fauci's forbearance over the scandalous, bestselling, unauthorized biography.)

Despite the undeniable popularity of this scathing account of career criminality and his own history of questionable-at-best integrity, Fauci—bafflingly—still has fans. The not-even-satirical Dr. Anthony Fauci Fan Club has an inexplicable seventy thousand followers on X.

TWENTY THOUSAND PEOPLE liked this post. Excuse me while I go lie down for a spell.

America’s Weasel actually has an authorized memoir coming out this month. The publisher’s website includes the following paragraph in its fawning description of ON CALL: A Doctor’s Journey in Public Service [*throws up a little*]:

“Dr. Fauci is arguably the most famous—and most revered—doctor in the world today. His role guiding America sanely and calmly through COVID (and through the torrents of Trump’s response to the pandemic) earned him the trust of millions in the United States and around the world during one of the most terrifying periods of modern global history; however, this was only the most recent of the global epidemics through which Dr. Fauci navigated in his five decades in public health.”

As my wide-awake readers know, the most revered reviled doctor in the world has been testifying before a House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic this week, where he was interrogated by lawmakers on masks, mandates, and the squirrely origins of COVID-19.

As one would expect, Fauci denied any and all wrongdoing, including the suppression of the lab leak theory (despite the fact that he called for the drafting of the scientific paper that became the means by which the lab leak theory was routinely dismissed. Oh, and he was also funding with taxpayer dollars EcoHealth Alliance, which was in turn funding dangerous gain-of-function coronavirus research with taxpayer dollars at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. Oh, and he has already been busted for lying under oath about said research). He did, however, admit that while millions of kids were miserably force-muzzled during the global health emergency, there was in fact never any research to support masking kids.

ICYMI: There. Was. Never. Any. Research. To. Support. Masking. Kids.

[*Pauses to step away from desk, quickly craft a voodoo doll, and then angrily poke its eyes out*]

During the hearing, Congressman Rich McCormick, an actual doctor who unlike Fauci has personally treated thousands of Covid patients, gloriously grilled the pint-sized parasite before playing a damning audio recording featuring the tiny guy himself saying the following:

“I have to say that I don't see a big solution other than some sort of mandatory. I know federal officials don't like to use that term. Once people feel empowered and protected legally, you are going to have schools, universities, and colleges are going to say, you want to come to this college, buddy? You're going to get vaccinated, lady. You're going to get vaccinated. Big corporations like Amazon and Facebook and all of those others are going to say, you want to work for us? You get vaccinated. And it's been proven that when you make it difficult for people in their lives, they lose their ideological bullshit and they get vaccinated [emphasis mine].

A fiery MTG held back exactly nothing when she got her turn at the mic, holding up photos of tortured beagles and accusing Fauci of admitting to making up the six-feet social distancing rule. Fauci was quick to clarify: “I didn’t say I made anything up,” he whined. “I said that it’s not based in science and it just appeared.”

Mkay. You’re the director of the NIAID, the chief medical advisor to the president, and a member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force. You are “America’s Doctor”—The Science itself—working diligently to save lives in the midst of a deadly pandemic. And then suddenly some arbitrary orders just materialized out of nowhere and you proceeded to immediately adopt and then ferociously enforce them without scrutinizing their origins or confirming their validity? Seems legit.

Abracadabra! Alikazam! Where’d these rules come from? Who knows?! Shazam!

One of the hearing’s biggest bombshells was the revelation that NIH scientists raked in more than 700 million dollars in royalties from drug makers during the pandemic—most of which ($690 mil) went to Fauci’s NIAID. In case anyone’s missing the gross malfeasance here: Fauci and his cronies personally profited from every unwanted jab they coerced, bribed, and forced people to take.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m with Elon.

Feel free to elaborate on your answer in the comments. ;)

Just order the damned thing already. You’re gonna love it.