I’m not a prepper, but if I were, chocolate would be at the top of my list. If I have to survive with using leaves as toilet paper, I’m going to need some chocolate. Probably a lot.
Dang it! No. I have lots of trees but the leaves are small, think Chinese tallows. I guess it’ll be clumps of grass then… boy that sounds messy. I’m going to need a lot more chocolate for my mental health.
This brings to mind my late father's description of conservation of toilet paper during WW2.
A small part was removed to facilitate effective placement of ones finger to guide the single sheet, and was used to clean under ones fingernails, having no water handy.
Dark chocolate, I hope. 😁 For your health, of course! Personally, I'm a big fan of Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Almond bars, as they contain both anti-oxidants AND protein. None of the bars I purchase won't make it into any prepper closet. 😊
Joking aside, I'm not much of a alcohol drinker these days (I'm not embarrassed to reveal that I drank most of my lifetime wine quota several years back) but IF I were to become a prepper, I would buy cases and cases of the little alcohol bottles similar to those that you get on an airplane. Do you realize how VALUABLE one of those tiny bottles may be? And, drum roll, no concerns of spoilage! Brilliant, right?
Alas, I put my entire life and trust in God...the Source of all my supply, and He has never, ever failed me yet. Each need is an opportunity to receive a gift from our loving Creator! Tote bags and all!!!
Yes, this article is ridiculous. But buying in bulk and having plenty of supplies on hand can benefit in way more sensible ways than end-of-the-world scenarios. In times of high inflation purchasing staples and paper goods at today’s prices or when on sale is a hedge against rising, inflationary prices. When COVID hit and I refused to wear a face diaper or stand in line outside the grocery store because they only let in 50-people at a time or have some 18-year-old aim a forehead thermometer at me in case I may be feverish. Forget that it was summer in Arizona where it’s like living in Hell and people are being forced to stand outside in line in 110°F temperatures. If you registered even a 1/10° over 98.6 you were denied entry. Couldn’t possibly be the air temp. causing that!
Being somewhat well stocked with pantry staples, paper goods and having a fully packed freezer kept me safely distanced from the insanity that was our world.
***On days that I was especially bored though I’d head to Trader Joe’s and see how many groceries I could load in my cart and how far I could make it through the store before being tossed out on my unmasked arse. But oh…how I needed those Joe-Joe’s sandwich cookies!
On another note…(I know, I’m rambling) because my church was closed and my gym
was closed and my swimming pool was closed and my hiking trails were closed I was forced to go to the apparently only SAFE place to recreate…the local casino. God bless those sovereign nation lands where COVID wasn’t as virulent and we could go and lose our money and where it was perfectly safe to pull down ones mask to smoke a cigarette or sip your Whiskey Sour! The only good that came from COVIDmania was that all the casinos eventually banned smoking inside the building and kept that rule in place after the hysteria waned and folks got bored with it all. Honestly, we are living in wacky world.
When they bring that all back, say around November, I'm totally cashing out my life savings and heading for the casino. Last time I was sure it wasn't a good idea. Learned my lesson.
lol!! It's almost like the rulers of the world are trying to have one last big sale of their toxic products before they decide to pull the trigger to end the world. Ohh just kidding! Not only did we scare the crap out of you, but we did it in a way to sell you more useless crap!
Thank you for revealing how the new AI advertising overlords are specifically targeting you with tote bags, dresses, and markers. I imagine that you get similar ads when perusing non-apocalyptic headlines. If that's the case, I highly recommend using Brave Browser to automatically block ads, tracking, etc.
That was hilarious! The juxtaposition of "end of the world" and "get shopping now" paints a telling picture of our society. On a more serious note, the idea of buying mass quantities of toilet paper, laundry soap, aluminum foil, and a whole bunch of other stuff you use was available in book form way back in 1980. While it can seem silly, I'm betting the stuff in you pantry cost a lot less a few years back than it does today. Just Sayin'
Yes! I just replied with something right along these lines. If there’s a good sale or the price is right I’m stocking up on staples. I don’t think I’ve ever just bought a six-pack of toilet paper, or two cans of beans. It’s a hedge against inflation to stock up.
Better go buy one of those long-handled pizza oven paddle things, ceramic, not wood. But remember, eat that first cuz when the freezers go (electricity) we’re doubly screwed.
After experiencing recent, weather-induced, significant power outages, I'm pretty sure simple lack of AC for longer than 3 days is guaranteed to kill me in any apocalypse 🥵
I have told people that when seeking a friend for the end of the world, remember, if you are starving to death...one doesn't need toilet paper. But, I will fess up. I have processed TP (blue charmin). Hubs prefers his TP more organic and closer to it's original state of tree fibers. My booty is not a fan of that. Alas...I do think it is ALL a giant psyop, on the right and left. Extreme is the name of the game. This homey don't play that. And...what you wrote is super great. I have told Hubs that when we do come out after eating our supply of Mountain House meals, we are going to be so big and fat and full of chemicals, we just might be able to survive in a toxic post-Armageddon society because we will literally BE the toxic. :) If you can't laugh at all this shit, chances are you are a real drag to be around.
I did NOT know that 90% of American cheese uses a Phizer made,GMO ingredient! What ingredient is it? I wish I could think of something clever, and funny to say,but,as a avid cheese eater,I’m pretty bummed:(
However,the rest of your article has given me enough chuckles that it balances out. Thank you!
It's a synthetic form of rennet called FPC and (you'll never believe this hahahaha of course you will) our wonderful FDA doesn't demand it be distinguished on ingredient labels so there is literally no way of knowing if you're getting it (so just assume 9 out of 10 times you are and you're probably in the ball park?). The article I linked to has more info FYI.
Highlighters! Why didn’t I think of that! Move those Twinkies over, Sweetie, I got a great deal on these here markers! No more room, ya say? Well, hell, we’ll just have to gobble some of those tasty snacks then! Pass the Whiz and those little triangular carb dealies!
“Cataclysm calories don’t count” 😄. You know they don’t count if you eat standing up either. Good to know the important life hacks. Prepare for the Rapture & avoid the whole mess🙏
I’m not a prepper, but if I were, chocolate would be at the top of my list. If I have to survive with using leaves as toilet paper, I’m going to need some chocolate. Probably a lot.
Do you live in a forest, to ensure availability of toilet leaves?
Dang it! No. I have lots of trees but the leaves are small, think Chinese tallows. I guess it’ll be clumps of grass then… boy that sounds messy. I’m going to need a lot more chocolate for my mental health.
This brings to mind my late father's description of conservation of toilet paper during WW2.
A small part was removed to facilitate effective placement of ones finger to guide the single sheet, and was used to clean under ones fingernails, having no water handy.
Oh boy, we are not prepared for that I today’s world. Yikes.
I don't care if there is toilet paper, preferring paper towels for my dry toilet.
Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
Dark chocolate, I hope. 😁 For your health, of course! Personally, I'm a big fan of Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate with Almond bars, as they contain both anti-oxidants AND protein. None of the bars I purchase won't make it into any prepper closet. 😊
Joking aside, I'm not much of a alcohol drinker these days (I'm not embarrassed to reveal that I drank most of my lifetime wine quota several years back) but IF I were to become a prepper, I would buy cases and cases of the little alcohol bottles similar to those that you get on an airplane. Do you realize how VALUABLE one of those tiny bottles may be? And, drum roll, no concerns of spoilage! Brilliant, right?
Alas, I put my entire life and trust in God...the Source of all my supply, and He has never, ever failed me yet. Each need is an opportunity to receive a gift from our loving Creator! Tote bags and all!!!
Keep us smiling, Jenna. Jenna the gem.
I LOVE Trader Joe’s dark chocolate, the super extra dark, no almonds, but I also like those giant bars of dark chocolate they sell.
Yes, this article is ridiculous. But buying in bulk and having plenty of supplies on hand can benefit in way more sensible ways than end-of-the-world scenarios. In times of high inflation purchasing staples and paper goods at today’s prices or when on sale is a hedge against rising, inflationary prices. When COVID hit and I refused to wear a face diaper or stand in line outside the grocery store because they only let in 50-people at a time or have some 18-year-old aim a forehead thermometer at me in case I may be feverish. Forget that it was summer in Arizona where it’s like living in Hell and people are being forced to stand outside in line in 110°F temperatures. If you registered even a 1/10° over 98.6 you were denied entry. Couldn’t possibly be the air temp. causing that!
Being somewhat well stocked with pantry staples, paper goods and having a fully packed freezer kept me safely distanced from the insanity that was our world.
***On days that I was especially bored though I’d head to Trader Joe’s and see how many groceries I could load in my cart and how far I could make it through the store before being tossed out on my unmasked arse. But oh…how I needed those Joe-Joe’s sandwich cookies!
On another note…(I know, I’m rambling) because my church was closed and my gym
was closed and my swimming pool was closed and my hiking trails were closed I was forced to go to the apparently only SAFE place to recreate…the local casino. God bless those sovereign nation lands where COVID wasn’t as virulent and we could go and lose our money and where it was perfectly safe to pull down ones mask to smoke a cigarette or sip your Whiskey Sour! The only good that came from COVIDmania was that all the casinos eventually banned smoking inside the building and kept that rule in place after the hysteria waned and folks got bored with it all. Honestly, we are living in wacky world.
When they bring that all back, say around November, I'm totally cashing out my life savings and heading for the casino. Last time I was sure it wasn't a good idea. Learned my lesson.
I admit that I do have a stash of peanut butter.
Actually, so do I. And a huge drawer full of ka'chava powder.
I’m also stocked up on makeup- I want to look decent when I die.
Also something I hoard. ;)
Peanut butter pepper here. Great source of protein and can used as caulk to keep out the radiation.
Make-up, peanut butter and tootsie rolls for me!
HILARIOUS 😆. So fecking funny because so much of what you said is 💯 accurate.
Thanks for making me bust a gut this morning. 💜💯🙏🔥💥
lol!! It's almost like the rulers of the world are trying to have one last big sale of their toxic products before they decide to pull the trigger to end the world. Ohh just kidding! Not only did we scare the crap out of you, but we did it in a way to sell you more useless crap!
Thank you for revealing how the new AI advertising overlords are specifically targeting you with tote bags, dresses, and markers. I imagine that you get similar ads when perusing non-apocalyptic headlines. If that's the case, I highly recommend using Brave Browser to automatically block ads, tracking, etc.
Thank you for the laughs! 🤣🤣❤️
Beware of Poison Ivy in the forest and have a steroid dose pack on hand.
The list is incomplete. My must haves would be a generator and lots of gas to run it. I want to spend my last hours with the A/C on.
Solar generator and a window unit!
Just remember unless you have the batteries to store all that solar, you're SOL!!! (My brother learned this the hard way...)
Of course, solar without batteries makes no sense.
That was hilarious! The juxtaposition of "end of the world" and "get shopping now" paints a telling picture of our society. On a more serious note, the idea of buying mass quantities of toilet paper, laundry soap, aluminum foil, and a whole bunch of other stuff you use was available in book form way back in 1980. While it can seem silly, I'm betting the stuff in you pantry cost a lot less a few years back than it does today. Just Sayin'
https://www.amazon.com/Alpha-Strategy-Ultimate-Financial-Self-Defense/dp/0917572025
PS You find a pdf version online if you care to look.
Yes! I just replied with something right along these lines. If there’s a good sale or the price is right I’m stocking up on staples. I don’t think I’ve ever just bought a six-pack of toilet paper, or two cans of beans. It’s a hedge against inflation to stock up.
This I agree with 100%!
Can you make frozen pizza over a campfire?
Better go buy one of those long-handled pizza oven paddle things, ceramic, not wood. But remember, eat that first cuz when the freezers go (electricity) we’re doubly screwed.
I. Just. Can't.
After experiencing recent, weather-induced, significant power outages, I'm pretty sure simple lack of AC for longer than 3 days is guaranteed to kill me in any apocalypse 🥵
THIS! I am the biggest whiner when it’s ungodly hot or ungodly cold!
I have told people that when seeking a friend for the end of the world, remember, if you are starving to death...one doesn't need toilet paper. But, I will fess up. I have processed TP (blue charmin). Hubs prefers his TP more organic and closer to it's original state of tree fibers. My booty is not a fan of that. Alas...I do think it is ALL a giant psyop, on the right and left. Extreme is the name of the game. This homey don't play that. And...what you wrote is super great. I have told Hubs that when we do come out after eating our supply of Mountain House meals, we are going to be so big and fat and full of chemicals, we just might be able to survive in a toxic post-Armageddon society because we will literally BE the toxic. :) If you can't laugh at all this shit, chances are you are a real drag to be around.
😂😂🤣
I did NOT know that 90% of American cheese uses a Phizer made,GMO ingredient! What ingredient is it? I wish I could think of something clever, and funny to say,but,as a avid cheese eater,I’m pretty bummed:(
However,the rest of your article has given me enough chuckles that it balances out. Thank you!
It's a synthetic form of rennet called FPC and (you'll never believe this hahahaha of course you will) our wonderful FDA doesn't demand it be distinguished on ingredient labels so there is literally no way of knowing if you're getting it (so just assume 9 out of 10 times you are and you're probably in the ball park?). The article I linked to has more info FYI.
😭
and we must stop this somehow ... free our cheese! #cheesefreedom
Highlighters! Why didn’t I think of that! Move those Twinkies over, Sweetie, I got a great deal on these here markers! No more room, ya say? Well, hell, we’ll just have to gobble some of those tasty snacks then! Pass the Whiz and those little triangular carb dealies!
🤣
“Cataclysm calories don’t count” 😄. You know they don’t count if you eat standing up either. Good to know the important life hacks. Prepare for the Rapture & avoid the whole mess🙏
I loved that. Cataclysm calories...and standing up calories! All I know is God wins...and I belong to Him. THAT is the only certain thing.