MAGA Hat Causes Media Meltdown

(I know. You're shocked.)

Nothing sums up the modern political-press ecosystem better than the fact that two low-rent livestreamers in Manhattan managed to generate more media arousal than Amanda Seyfried’s prosthetic butthole [not a typo]—simply by filming themselves being awful. In what reads like a junior high slam book entry, The New York Post breathlessly described the duo as “lowlifes,” “creeps,” “wannabe influencers,” “thugs,” and—my personal favorite—“a brainless pair.” (Rumor has it “super lame-os” and “toxic skibs” are somewhere on the Post’s cutting room floor.)

Here’s the story: Two bottom-feeding clout goblins allegedly harassed a woman on a New York City street, hurled racist slurs, and tried to light her boots on fire. (As she stood there patiently while Barney Fife reincarnate filmed the whole thing, strangely.) It was disgusting behavior. Criminal behavior. But also… not political behavior by any stretch.

Unless, of course, one of the perps happened to be wearing a certain bright-red, instantly recognizable hat. Because that’s the only reason this story even hit the news cycle. Not the assault. Not the racism. Not the casual arson. Nope. The hat. Because of course the hat.

A $12 Amazon cap catapulted this from “two degenerates chasing views” to “BREAKING: Trump-Linked Hate Crime Strikes NYC!”

(Do Democrats even realize that all they have to do to destroy conservatism is don a MAGA hat and film themselves, well, being themselves? I won’t tell them if you won’t!)

I’ll add here that when I lived in Manhattan, my fifth-floor walk-up apartment was broken into and looted twice in one week. When I called the cops to report the first incident, the 911 operator actually laughed.

“We’ll send someone right over,” she said.

“Oh, good, really?” I asked.

“No, not really!” she howled, collapsing into fits of laughter before hanging up on me.

I did not call 911 after the second break-in, for the record.

My point is, a run-in like this might be newsworthy in Blueberry, Minnesota, but in New York City—where violent subway attacks and random knife-wielding assaults are daily occurrences—good luck getting anyone to care.

But here’s the part the press loves: The imagery. The implications. Any excuse to link the word MAGA to something unsavory. The narrative template they’ve been dying to recycle since Jussie Smollett: “MAGA Violence in Blue America.”

To be clear, MAGA didn’t do this. Two bozos did. But the media needs this story the way soap operas need amnesia and evil twins. Because without “MAGA Monster Attacks NYC Woman,” what are they left with? “TikTok Rejects Behave Like Jackasses” would get a negative rating on any clickbait scale.

Riddle me this: With the exception of the infamous “female gunperson in a dress,” when have you ever seen every single news headline reference a criminal’s outfit? And even if the perp was “a man in a Ralph Lauren hoodie,” or “a woman wearing a Taylor Swift concert tee…” would those clothing choices in any way incriminate Mr. Polo or TayTay in the crime?

The left-leaning media’s attempts to character-assassinate an entire movement are actually laughable at this point.

A loser’s headgear is literally the best-case scenario for Democrats. Because if the same dude had been wearing a Yankees hat, this would have been a local blotter story at best. A 200-word filler, probably below an ad for discounted eyeglasses.

The only sort of crime, incidentally, where the mention of a MAGA hat is warranted.

“The thug in the Pro-Trump attire [because that matters!] then brandished a lighter and alarmingly set [the victim’s] boots ablaze,” the Post wrote, “while his heartless pal filmed the hateful assault, according to authorities.”

“Please stand still while I torch your boots, thanks!”

IDK about you guys people, but if some psychopath who’s been screaming obscenities in my face drops to his feet and fires up a lighter right next to my sweet-ass fur boots, I am not just going to stand there.

Could the whole thing have been staged for the MAGA headline? Asking for a friend.

Either way, you have to hand it to the liberal narrative machine. They want so badly—so desperately—for MAGA to be a hate movement that they will happily outsource the job to the nearest street scum in a red cap.

The moral of this story? Sometimes an idiot is just an idiot. And sometimes the media just really, really wants him to be useful.

What does the hive say? Would this have been a story at all if the guy was wearing a LIFE IS GOOD lid? LMK in the comments!

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