Jenna Side's Top Ten Inaugural Moments

The whole day was a delicious doozy--but here are a few personal highlights

There are a million reasons I consider myself fortunate that I am otherwise unemployable able work for myself, from home, but one of the very best parts aside from not having to leave my cats behind while I trot off to some depressing office is I never have miss a minute of a chaotic or unprecedented news day. And boy, was yesterday a chaotic, unprecedented news day.

At first, I wasn’t going to watch the actual swearing-in in real time because I was genuinely terrified that something gruesome might transpire and that I would never, ever be able to unsee it [*drops to knees, bows head, and says prayer of humble yet robust gratitude]. But like a half-price happy-hour jalapeno margarita or the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, I was powerless to stay away.

The inauguration was ceremonial. Emotional. Inspirational. Unconventional. Memorable. Patriotic. Historic. And at times, downright hilarious.

There was much to love and plenty to chuckle at, from Hillary Clinton’s obnoxious snickering at Trump’s promise to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America,” to podcaster Theo Von's unexpected tumble into Logan Paul's lap and Kamala’s I-just-sucked-on-a-lemon face during the entirety of the festivities. As hard as the list of wonders was to whittle down, I give you my own favorite moments:

10. The Kiss-Miss. As if That Hat™ weren’t memorable enough on its own, when its wide brim prevented Trump from giving his wife an affectionate peck on his way to the stage, the internet lost its collective ever-loving mind.

9. Carrie Underwood’s Technical Difficulties. Awkwardness briefly ensued when the gorgeous, Grammy Award-winning artist took the mic to sing “America the Beautiful” and the background music went Michelle Obama MIA. A true professional and undeniable class act, Underwood stepped up and belted out the famous song acapella. Do yourself a favor and watch it. #chills

8. Grown-Ass Adults Booing Other Grown-Ass Adults. As various members of political royalty arrived at the Capitol One Arena, it felt as if you were watching the prelude to a wrestling match. (“The booing now is probably louder than it was for Vice President Mike Pence! Big, big boos, as you can imagine, for former president Obama.”) I dare you not to laugh.

7. The Literally Sitting Presidents. “The Golden Age of America begins right now,” Trump announced, before listing his America First policies and promises. It was a powerful speech that brought ninety-seven percent of the room to its feet. Notable squatters included the Clintons, the Bushes, the Harris-Emhoffs, and the lone Obama. Rude.

6. No Michelle (no excuse given). No Nancy (probably she was too exhausted from all that midnight trading?). Nobody cared.

5. Fetterman’s Legs. It was roughly ten degrees outside. It was a who’s who of political power and import. It was a presidential swearing in, for crying out loud. As always, the Democratic Senator from Pennsylvania didn’t get the dress code part of the memo and showed up in gym shorts and a hoodie. It’s actually sort of funny (albeit wildly disrespectful).

   

4. Musk’s Weird Gesture. I’ll admit, on the surface it does look a lot like a certain Nazi salute. But if you watch it in real time, the move follows Musk’s awkwardly enthusiastic, “My heart goes out to you!” Musk advisor Andrea Stroppa explained, “That gesture, which some mistook for a Nazi salute, is simply Elon, who has autism, expressing his feelings.” The billionaire himself also responded to the criticism on X: "Frankly, they need better dirty tricks. The ‘everyone is Hitler’ attack is sooo tired." He’s not wrong.

Nevertheless, not a good look.

3. Barron’s Whisper to Biden. Talk about a speculation-fest! This one got folks even more flustered than the Trump-Obama tête-à-tête did—and once again, lip readers were enlisted to translate. Speculation ranged from “you’re done” to “lawyer up, buttercup” (and hilariously included “I don’t know what he said, but I bet I want it on a shirt”), but one visual speech analyst says the former president muttered, “It’s good to see you, man,” to which Barron replied, “Exactly.” That’s not even a little bit what it looks like to me, but hey, I’m no lip reader.

2. The Bible Brouhaha. When Trump took the oath of office, HIS HAND WASN’T ON THE BIBLE. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts directed the president to raise his right hand before Melania had even arrived by his side with the swearing-in props. The whole thing felt rude and rushed and of course, the media tried to turn it into a controversy while conspiracy theorists raced to insist it was intentional because he’s *not* in fact assuming the title of President of the Corporation of the United States because he has already been sworn in [specifically on January 16th of this year] as President of the Restored Republic of the United States of America. Oh, and in this parallel universe, JFK Jr. is his VP. I’ll let you guys debate this one.

1. Lauren Sánchez’s Bra. Jeff Bezos’ spotlight-loving girlfriend revealed Victoria’s infamous Secret at the inauguration, bringing the finger-waggers out in full force. You’d think a group of grown men could keep it together in the presence of a little cleavage, but you’d be wrong. Sanchez’s Bra has since gone viral, becoming a media sensation all its own.

   

   JK. I just made this account. But feel free to follow!

It’s barely been twenty hours since Trump returned to power and already so much winning has happened, it’s impossible to keep up—or celebrate hard enough. POTUS has issued pardons for 1,500 people charged in the January 6 “attack,” extended the pause on Congress’ TikTok ban, declared an emergency at the US-Mexico border, promised to unleash American energy (Make Light Bulbs Great Again!), terminated DEI programs within the federal government, and signed documents to formally withdraw the US from the Paris climate agreements and the WHO. That last line alone could be rewritten as “signed documents preventing the near-immediate enslavement of all Americans to the global cabal,” but no big deal. Really.

In his remaining free time since resuming office, Trump has also given the Oval Office a quick makeover (in which he brought back the Winston Churchill bust that Biden had impolitely removed) and unveiled a splashy new White House website.

Daddy’s back, all right, and I don’t know about you guys, but I slept like a baby last night.

Tell me what you thought of the inauguration and Trump’s eventful First Day in the comments.

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