Happy Birthday, Misinformation!

Precisely four years into the "new normal," the helpful plandemic handlers have compiled ALL THE LIES in one handy place.

I promise you guys, it’s not like I wake up every day (at the unholy hour of 4:45 a.m. typically) and say to myself, “Mornin’, Sunshine! Let’s fix ourself a nice steamy cup of cream with a splash of coffee in it and then go find something to get phenomenally pissed about!”

Alas, the Gods of Phenomenal Pissdom have been especially generous lately.

Deposited straight into my inbox yesterday was this humdinger:

To be fair to the morons recycling this crap, I didn’t have to click on it. But sadly, I did. I live in Austin—a blinding speck of blue in a sea of mostly red *I came for the red*—so I thought there may be some relevant local info. You know, since the Austin American-Statesman has been "serving our community since 1871.”

Thanks for your service, AAS!

Call it gaslighting. Call it damage control. Call it a desperate attempt to prop up a rapidly collapsing narrative. Three day-old roadkill by any other name would smell as revolting.

The unironic article I desperately wish I’d never read was actually penned by PolitiFact—shocker—and literally reads like The Lying Liar’s Guide to Suppressing Inconvenient Truths with Lies, Lies, and—Why Not?—a Few More Lies.

PolitiFact Editor: Goddammit, somebody get me a list of all the completely factual and 100% verifiable things those conspiracy theorists are saying about COVID so we can spin it. NOW!

Kwasi Gyami Asiedu: On it, Sir.

PolitiFact Editor: Do not forget that whole Red Cross blood-donor nightmare.

KGA: Top of the list, boss!

The fine bit of journalistic gobbledygook in question starts with a helpful summary of the history of misinformation surrounding COVID-19:

In other words, they were doing everything they could to get us all vaccinated “keep us safe,” but we just wouldn’t stop sharing stories of the vaccine injured people we knew (that they were trying to cancel) or the early treatments that were proven to work (that they were lying about not working) or the overcounting of COVID cases and deaths (that they actually admitted—later—they were doing). Basically, the “fact checkers and public health officials” were a team of mature, responsible grown-ups in charge of taking care of a bunch of cranky, difficult, and possibly shitfaced toddlers. All they wanted to do was to protect us! And we made that job so, so hard with all of our pesky truths misinformation. We were spewing so many lies, they were forced to crown a King!

Happy Birthday, Downplay and Denial! How does it feel to be FOUR YEARS OLD?

PolitiFact considerately categorized all the irksome conspiracies out there into three neat groups:

• Unsubstantiated claims that vaccines cause deaths [and] other illness*

*author’s note: I did not realize death was an illness! I hope Pharma is working on a safe-and-effective death vaccine!

FOR THE LAST TIME, quit looking at openvaers.com. The WHO and CDC have evidence that the vaccines are safe!

• Celebrity deaths falsely attributed to vaccines

The PolitiFact piece—a not even thinly veiled press release for Pharma—specifically mentions Betty White, Bob Saget, Matthew Perry, and DMX as “a few of the many celebrities whose deaths were falsely linked to the vaccine.” I mean, come on. Betty White was ancient, Bob Saget bumped his head to death, Matthew Perry was a known druggie who died of “acute effects of ketamine” (although “other factors contributed to his death, including drowning” you literally cannot make this stuff up), and poor DMX, a rapper I had never heard of and thus was unaware of his untimely demise, apparently suffered a heart attack which was unambiguously traceable to a drug overdose. See? No connection to the vax whatsoever! Curiously, they forgot to mention that Toby Keith, Kirstie Alley, Gilbert Gottfried, Aaron Carter, Ray Liotta, Suzanne Somers, and Sinead O’Connor were also definitely not killed by the vaccine.

Nice try, PolitiFact. But ice cream is not experimental. It’s not toxic. It doesn’t mess with your DNA, your hormones, or your menstrual cycle. It doesn’t travel around your body and settle in your reproductive organs and lymph nodes. You can look right there on the carton and see precisely what’s in it. Nobody can force you to eat ice cream you don’t want and might be allergic to but you can’t know because they won’t show you the ingredient list. And if thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of people did die the day after eating the same brand and flavor of ice cream, you can bet your ass it would be recalled immediately.

• False claims the pandemic was planned or government-orchestrated

Read that again: “Gates, according to the narratives, is using dangerous vaccines to push a depopulation agenda. That’s False.” I’ll save you the trouble and the existential aggravation of clicking on that “false” link and just show you how thoroughly and diligently PolitiFact debunked that particular conspiracy theory:

So, see? B-Gates did not in fact write that one article in 2011 saying he was going to kill off the world’s population through forced vaccination, which obviously means he doesn’t want to kill off the world’s population through forced vaccination! Because when people want to kill off lots of other people through forced vaccination (or any other means), they always write articles detailing exactly how that’s going to go down. Which our planet’s pudgy, pernicious, population-loathing, psychotic, self-appointed Health Czar definitely did not do.

Phew! I’m so glad we cleared that up. (We won’t even talk about the many patents our own government holds—or how long they’ve held them—on developing and producing coronavirus the injectable bioweapon itself as well as testing for coronavirus the injectable bioweapon. That does not prove that the pandemic was planned or government-orchestrated. Ever heard of a coinkydink?)

Every single hyperlink in the PolitiFact piece above goes to a “fact-check” (also by PolitiFact, which is like letting the 15-year-old who’s trying to sneak into the strip club check his own ID) that looks like this:

Oh, you silly right-wingers. The WEF has never advocated for the creation of a totalitarian world government! Well, except that one time—literally right now—they were (are) promoting the WHO Pandemic Treaty which would give an unelected group of leaders unrestricted power to declare pandemics and regulate the global pandemic response. Oh, and that other time—literally the day the pandemic was announced—that they partnered with the WHO to launch “an emergency coronavirus task force.” And then there was the time WEF Quarterback Klaus Schwab announced, “The people assume we are just going back to the good old world and everything will be normal again... This is, let’s say, fiction. It will not happen.” And of course, that time every other day that Schwab hails the arrival of the New World Order. Other than these published, verifiable facts, any claims that the Great Reset is trying to force a change in the world economic system are, to quote some dude who works for the very group that routinely admits they’re trying to force a change in the world economic system, “ludicrous.”

Are you as relieved as I am? (Also RIP, Betty.)

I’m sorry if you, too, are now phenomenally pissed. I suggest harnessing that anger and using it to build a Bill Gates voodoo doll and then beat the living stuffing out of it treat yourself to a grueling but satisfying workout. Enjoy the endorphins!