Yesssss! This. I call it the "everyone gets a trophy" generation. "Congratulations, you participated. You're a winner!" No, you don't get a trophy for showing up; you get one for winning. Sorry if that hurts your little feelings.
Yesssss! This. I call it the "everyone gets a trophy" generation. "Congratulations, you participated. You're a winner!" No, you don't get a trophy for showing up; you get one for winning. Sorry if that hurts your little feelings.
Not to mention ‘my kid can’t ride the bus because of bullying’, or rushing down to the school to insist your kid get in GT when they didn’t qualify…. It goes on and on.
My kids are like yours, young adults making good choices, holding good jobs, but I actually disciplined my kids. And it was so hard when all the parents around me would do NOTHING when their kids did something egregious.
Also YES! (Ever read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee?) We were undeniably strict with our girls; not "no for the sake of saying no" but there were always clear expectations and nonnegotiable consequences. We also recognized that respect has to go BOTH ways. I'd laugh when they started babysitting--they'd both repeatedly say THANK YOU MOM FOR GIVING US DISCIPLINE AND BOUNDARIES. (There are a LOT of nightmare kids out there, unfortunately.)
I ‘m an older mother of the boomer generation, & my 2 boys had summer jobs from their teens because my parents had expected that from me. And they did hard work: welding, roofing, other construction. They worked side by side with people less educated & from poorer backgrounds than theirs & that was important too - that they were all the same & no airs about being “better” than their co-workers.
One summer while my oldest was still in high school & working for a welder, he came home hot, sweaty, covered in grease from head to toe. He told me that not only would none of his friends do that kind of work, but none of his friends had to work summers at all.
I shrugged, smiled & told him it builds character &…it DID. That son owns a successful personal training business & the younger is in the USAF. Very proud of both.
We’re Gen-Xers with a Millennial son. For him, that has been both a blessing - he has our work ethic and no-BS attitude - and a curse - he has our work ethic and no-BS attitude (LOL) in a work world filled with other Millennials and Zoomers raised by participation trophy-awarding Boomer parents. I truly believe the difference in parenting styles has helped him excel everywhere he’s worked.
We also have a set of friends our son’s age and they are (light heartedly) teaching their kids that “second place is first loser”. Perhaps a bit harsher than I would do, but at least it’s not the participation trophy mindset! 😉
LOL--same!!! The comment about your friends gives me hope that maybe the pendulum is swinging... it inevitably will, when enough people see how the trophy generation thinks, works, and behaves!
Yesssss! This. I call it the "everyone gets a trophy" generation. "Congratulations, you participated. You're a winner!" No, you don't get a trophy for showing up; you get one for winning. Sorry if that hurts your little feelings.
Not to mention ‘my kid can’t ride the bus because of bullying’, or rushing down to the school to insist your kid get in GT when they didn’t qualify…. It goes on and on.
My kids are like yours, young adults making good choices, holding good jobs, but I actually disciplined my kids. And it was so hard when all the parents around me would do NOTHING when their kids did something egregious.
Also YES! (Ever read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee?) We were undeniably strict with our girls; not "no for the sake of saying no" but there were always clear expectations and nonnegotiable consequences. We also recognized that respect has to go BOTH ways. I'd laugh when they started babysitting--they'd both repeatedly say THANK YOU MOM FOR GIVING US DISCIPLINE AND BOUNDARIES. (There are a LOT of nightmare kids out there, unfortunately.)
I haven’t read it, but I might send it to my daughter and SIL who are about to have my first grandchild. 😉
I ‘m an older mother of the boomer generation, & my 2 boys had summer jobs from their teens because my parents had expected that from me. And they did hard work: welding, roofing, other construction. They worked side by side with people less educated & from poorer backgrounds than theirs & that was important too - that they were all the same & no airs about being “better” than their co-workers.
One summer while my oldest was still in high school & working for a welder, he came home hot, sweaty, covered in grease from head to toe. He told me that not only would none of his friends do that kind of work, but none of his friends had to work summers at all.
I shrugged, smiled & told him it builds character &…it DID. That son owns a successful personal training business & the younger is in the USAF. Very proud of both.
My oldest is in the USAF too. Currently on his way home from deployment… I will hopefully see him in a week!
I think we’ve talked about our boys before 😊. ENJOY!
We have? Awesome!
We’re Gen-Xers with a Millennial son. For him, that has been both a blessing - he has our work ethic and no-BS attitude - and a curse - he has our work ethic and no-BS attitude (LOL) in a work world filled with other Millennials and Zoomers raised by participation trophy-awarding Boomer parents. I truly believe the difference in parenting styles has helped him excel everywhere he’s worked.
We also have a set of friends our son’s age and they are (light heartedly) teaching their kids that “second place is first loser”. Perhaps a bit harsher than I would do, but at least it’s not the participation trophy mindset! 😉
LOL--same!!! The comment about your friends gives me hope that maybe the pendulum is swinging... it inevitably will, when enough people see how the trophy generation thinks, works, and behaves!
Agreed!!
was it Woody Allen who said "80% of success is just showing up"? Course that still leaves 20%, maybe to be earned on merit?