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Here’s my most recent story: I have been flying around the world for at least fifteen years with the same rather junky metal nail file in my purse. Not once in all that time has anyone flagged it. But flying OUT of Turkey, so clearly it had already flown in with me, this complete witch decided to take it out and measure it. I kid you not, she placed it on her little plastic ruler in such a way that it exceeded the limit, whereas if she had measured it like a normal person, it was clearly much shorter. I just glared at her. You want my nasty old nail file so you can feel better about yourself?? You can have it sad sack!

You could not pay me enough to work at airport security. I don’t t even apologize for my naked hatred as our lovely host did in her piece. If you work for TSA you are part of the problem and we can’t be friends. Every time we fly I make a stink and I make sure my kids know it never used to be like this.

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