Campaign Wishes and Coup D'état Dreams*

Or "Why Requiring an ID to Vote Should Be Non-Negotiable."

*Special thanks to my friend Erin of The Remedy Revolution Podcast who gave me the title suggestion without having any idea what I was working on. She literally texted me out of the blue, “Here’s a title for you. You’re welcome.” I love serendipity.

A few weeks ago, I was forking over an obscene amount of money for a handful of groceries, as you do (thanks, Bidenomics!).

You can buy this poster here.

“ID?” the casher said as he slipped a bottle of Syrah into a paper sleeve.

I’ll say right here that I do take excellent care of my skin. Also I cover my gray roots weekly and I may have had a few units of Botox injected into my elevens over the years (although I don’t do any of that filler crap and no scalpel has ever come anywhere near my face, for the record). Nevertheless, I have orbited the sun a full fifty-five times, so let’s just say I’ve never once been mistaken for my 21-year-old daughter’s younger sister.

“It’s been a minute since I’ve been carded,” I admitted, digging for my license.

“Oh, we have to ID anyone who’s buying booze,” the cashier replied. “Trust me, I’m pretty sure when you were twenty-one, phones still had cords.” (Just kidding. He didn’t say that last part. But he might as well have.)

You have to show your government issued identification card to get your fermented grape juice fix. You also are required to present it to board an airplane, open a bank account, check into a hotel, buy tobacco products, apply for a job, pick up prescription medication, purchase a firearm, rent a car, gamble, get a library card, register for college classes, secure a loan, receive hospital care, and go clubbing [*quietly celebrates being ancient*].

But in fifteen North American states—plus Washington D.C., naturally—you do not need an ID to vote. You know, because it’s discriminatory. To do so would disproportionately affect marginalized groups such as minorities, the elderly, and the disabled. I guess banks, bars, airlines, hotels, casinos, libraries, liquor stores, collages, hospitals, video game outlets, gun shops, rental car outfits, nightclubs, and every company, organization, agency, association, and entity in the country that employs people legally aren’t all that concerned about discrimination?

She writes the headlines FOR you.

Where’s the lie, though?

Confidence in election integrity is at an all-time low. (Actually, I just made that up, but it probably is and if it’s not, it certainly should be.) Every American gets and deserves exactly one opportunity to express their preference for a particular candidate. [*Braces self for loving verbal assault from regular reader Vee, who believes that statism is the most dangerous religion and that to vote is to participate in the dog and pony show designed to distract us while the system behind it continues to dominate humanity, two things I don’t necessarily disagree with but I’m still going to vote and I still want it to be fair.] The most compelling motive for making elections anything but airtight would be if you were planning to cheat*. Right?

*I know I share a lot of links, but this one’s not a throwaway. It’s long, but it’s an incredibly eye-opening and well-supported look at precisely how some people [ahem] are right this minute gaming the system.

Facts.

A simple ChatGPT prompt—how can you ensure a secure election?—turns up a pretty simple, straightforward checklist:

Not just voter verification; STRICT voter verification!

California of course is one of the states that does not require an ID to vote. In March, voters in Huntington Beach approved an amendment to the city charter that would make voter identification mandatory. The state of California turned around and sued the city of Huntington Beach. Announcing the lawsuit, California Attorney General Rob Bonta declared that “the measure stands in conflict with state law.”

Because you know I love an analogy: Imagine a group of kids being raised by parents who feed them only Pop-Tarts and Lunchables and TGI Fridays Loaded Cheddar & Bacon Potato Skins. The kids decide to build a garden and grow some fresh fruits and vegetables and instead of commending their desire to eat healthy, wholesome foods, the parents slap a suit on their own offspring for “violating parental protocols and procedures.”

(The lovely but patently loony home to Hollywood is also endeavoring to amend their California Dream for All Shared Appreciation Program—a linguistic and logistical train wreck of a plan that provides no-interest loans to first time home buyers—to include illegal residents. If Gruesome signs it, AB1840 would make Commiefornia the first state to provide home loans to undocumented immigrants. Seriously, Cali; you okay?)

Where’s the lie?

And speaking of those undocumented immigrants, word on the street is not only are some of them forming armed gangs and terrorizing Americans; a number are also (gasp!) voting. I know, it’s illegal! (So are speeding, jaywalking, texting while driving, littering, parking in certain places without a permit or paying a fee, not wearing a seatbelt, sharing streaming service passwords, rolling through stop signs, setting off fireworks, and forming armed gangs and terrorizing innocent citizens; IDK if anyone realizes this, but having a law in place doesn’t mean people will obey it.) You can relax, though. Despite alarming and compelling evidence to the contrary, the lamestream media is here to inform you that noncitizen voting is “GOP FAKE NEWS.” Phew!

Call me crazy, but if I have to prove who I am to purchase the latest Grand Theft Auto release or borrow a copy of Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining from my local library, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask me to do the same when I vote. What do you guys think? Tell me in the comments. ;)

p.s. If you’re not following Laura Kasner’s fabulous Clotastrophe substack (and you can stomach graphic, possibly disturbing medical photos *you’ve been warned*), you should. Laura and data scientist Tom Haviland are working tirelessly to expose the horrific, unprecedented things that embalmers are finding in vaccinated cadavers in particular. I highly recommend their recent interview on UnWoke.Academy discussing clots, shedding, CBDC, getting safe blood transfusions, and more. Laura is another cherished and vocal reader and now friend who contributed a wonderful essay to Yankee Doodle Soup. Her bio there says it all: “Laura Kasner is a pissed-off, childless, married woman of a certain age who didn’t do much of anything truly meaningful in her life until God chose her for an important role in spreading the truth. She carries a bottle of blood clots with her everywhere she goes. If you meet her, ask her to see it!”

p.p.s. I’m working on a roundup of Subscriber Shoutouts because you guys are awesome about sharing stuff and I want you to get your due props. If you’ve written something topical and fabulous (or funny! IDK if you know this, but I’m partial to funny), feel free to drop a link here or email it to me at jenna@jennamccarthy.com. Who knows? It may turn into a regular feature. I can do that, because I’m the POPME.

p.p.p.s. Happy Labor Day, y’all! Here’s to hot dogs and sportsball season and pumpkin spice everything and excellent deals on appliances and four-day workweeks! Don’t forget: No wearing white after tomorrow. Hahahaha JK that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard [lays out eleventeen straight days of all-white outfits ‘cuz you’re-not-the-boss-of-me, fashion editor].