BREAKING: FDA Approves New Covid Vaccines
Actually, they sort of destroyed the whole program. I just stole that headline—verbatim—from USA Today.
The Bud Light factory—or maybe it was the Starbucks headquarters where NPR is permanently piped into the breakroom—was all atwitter yesterday: “Did you hear? The FDA approved the updated Covid-19 vaccines, even with Captain Conspiracy steering the ship!” That’s the story being whispered across woke cubicles nationwide, where rainbow tote bags and pronoun pins go to die.
The truth is, what actually happened is almost the exact opposite. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s FDA just revoked the Covid shots’ Emergency Use Authorization—the very magic wand that greenlit mandates, job losses, military purges, school expulsions, and the whole dystopian circus of the last four years. Finally, mercifully, the golden ticket for coercion has been run through the shredder.
Instead of sweeping recommendations that essentially include anyone with a pulse, now you must be over 65 or have at least one health condition to qualify for endless jabs. In other words, if you’re not frail or high-risk, the government is officially done forcing you to take one for the team.
I know. They’re still allowing poisonous cocktails to be given to the most fragile groups on earth. Tell me you’re keen on depopulating the planet without telling me you’re keen on depopulating the planet. But at least someone is trying to protect some of us.
Naturally, mainstream media rushed to spin this as great news for vaxaholics. “FDA APPROVES UPDATED COVID-19 SHOTS,” PBS bellowed, followed by a sheepish whisper in microscopic type: “…with some restrictions for kids and adults.” The same outlets that once hawked the jab as a granny-saving miracle are now straining to slap a smiley-face sticker on what is, in reality, a massive retreat.
“Parents will still be able to seek out shots from rival drugmaker Moderna, the other maker of mRNA vaccines, which has full FDA approval for children as young as 6 months,” PBS attempted to soothe, after having to break the tragic news to its readers that Pfizer’s vaccine will no longer be available for any child under five. “But the company’s Spikevax vaccine is only approved for children with at least one serious health problem.”
Side note: They literally named it Spikevax. The irony is not lost.
The American Academy of Pediatrics—who just two weeks ago issued their own vaccine guidance (in summary: every arm, every season, quit questioning) that differs from federal policy—moaned that the new limits “may block vaccine access for families who want to protect their children.” Imagine the horror: parents panicking because their healthy toddlers won’t be injected with an experimental gene therapy.
An epidemiologist at Brown even lamented that the changes might “make it harder for people to get vaccines.” Harder? It means you now have to talk to your doctor before you roll up your sleeve. Oh, the humanity.
Pfizer and Moderna, of course, rushed out press releases reminding us that yes, the juice is still flowing if grandma wants her Spikevax fix—because nothing says “science” like a quarterly earnings call.
Not everyone is impressed. (MTB, I’m talking to you. And yes, she’s MTB now.)
Here’s where the mob completely loses the plot. They’re foaming that Kennedy hasn’t slammed the brakes hard enough, that because a jab of any sort is still accessible, he’s basically twirling a mustache while babies drop like flies. As if a guy could just stroll into FDA headquarters, snap his fingers, and poof—decades of pharma capture and emergency powers would dissolve overnight.
What he’s doing—unwinding mandates, stripping emergency authorizations, and boxing this poison into tighter and tighter corners—isn’t perfect, but it’s real, tangible progress. People wanted him to flip a switch; he’s dismantling the machine piece by piece, so that it stays dismantled. That’s not compromise—it’s strategy.
If you want proof the swamp knows it, look no further than the CDC. Susan Monarez, who managed to hang onto the director’s chair for an impressive 27 days, refused to play ball with Kennedy’s rollback and was promptly “ousted.” (Despite her insistence yesterday that she hadn’t resigned or been officially let go, headlines this morning were all updated to fired.) Three other CDC brass resigned in solidarity, their letters dripping with melodrama about “dark clouds” and “weaponized public health.” Translation: the cocktail party just got canceled. The press is calling it chaos; to MAHA nation, it looks more like housecleaning.
Here’s the bottom line: the EUA is gone. Mandates are dead. The whole “we’re all in this together or you’re fired” era has been quietly escorted out the side door. Yes, we’re still waiting for Kennedy to take a wrecking ball to the 1986 liability shield, the get-out-of-court-free card that’s kept Pharma coasting (and cashing in) for nearly forty years. Sure, it would be fabulous if folks who were fired for refusing the jabs were all granted five years of back pay and groveling apologies. But in the meantime, he just reframed the conversation from comply or else to see your doctor if you want one. That’s not a tweak. That’s a tectonic shift.
If you can’t see that, congratulations—you just qualified for a job at CNN.
So yes, technically, the FDA “approved updated Covid-19 vaccines.” But the truer headline is this: Mandates are dead. Jabs are optional. The panic-industrial complex just blew its most critical fuse.
Of course, the media will keep shrieking, the mask-in-the-car crowd will keep weeping, and the HR ladies who used to swing by your Facebook posts just to leave nasty comments will now pretend they were “always skeptical.”
Me, I can’t decide what’s better: the policy backpedal itself or watching NPR interns trying to peck out ‘emergency use authorization rescinded’ without crying.
Well? Which is it? I know you won’t hold back in the comments. :)
