Nature designed men to be the protectors and the providers, and for women to be the nurturers and the caretakers.
We are all better off when we understand that men and women are unique and different, and that we need each other and need to work with each other to keep civilization running a little more smoothly.
There has never been and never will be any proof of this. Your impressions of human history come from a completely whitewashed version where humanity has been tinkering around with sticks and stones for hundreds of thousands of years slaughtering each other raping each other and failing to organize in any meaningful way. None of this is true and as long as you go on believing it you're going to continue to hate on us
Somehow I think this commenter is a male. If you want to know where a commenter is “at” just look at what they have posted on their personal Substack and who they ‘subscribe’ to.
Paradigm Threat is an interesting guy, and why he’s commenting here on this post I don’t get.
We’ll be expecting a rude and baseless diatribe out of you any moment, along with the announcement of your disgruntledness and departure. *I made up that word.
I left my son's first day of kindergarten crying my heart out because it felt to me that morning he was now in the hands of an institution, and not mine. Sure, it was silly of me. But it sure hurt at least for that one morning; two hours later he was back home.
If I had only known then what I know now about public schools! I thought they educated, but back then what was upsetting to me was that the government was ordering me to put my child in school. [Plus, his kindergarten teacher called him "Honey Boy" which really annoyed me. LOL]
When my son got to high school, he was not doing all that great one year. So I scheduled an appointment with several of his teachers. I was shocked. Tests that weren't tests. Maybe we had a different mindset. You study the material so you can take a test. And hopefully, you remember that for the rest of your life assuming you don't get dementia.
Your feelings are never silly including your tears. Behavior can be silly though excluding your tears.
The Bible teaches us there is nothing new under the sun, which includes both your dark view of human history and the more hopeful and satisfying view of Liz LaSorte. That said, your point was lost on me.
@Threat- slow down there, Trigger. Anthropologically, the male of the human species hunts because he's stronger and faster while the female of the human species gives birth and nurses the young. No one is saying men don't love their children as much as mothers do and not all mothers have that maternal instinct (my granddaughter's mother is a prime example of that).
My husband has torn into those who tried to harm our kids. Guess what. So have I and I was more vicious about it. Maybe because he knows how big he is and how strong, at the time, he was so he held back. I never had to get physical because the look in my eyes told the perp I meant business and I WOULD make things uncomfortable.
There are physical differences which shape the Nature and Nurture but the Nurture part is more forgiving. "It is what it is."
You have a brutal imagination, and/or have somehow managed to get an internet connection from deep in the Congo. You're obviously upset, about "what" we'll never understand.
Is it just me (disclaimer, I'm a man), or is this a lot of griping from women who thought they could have it all, but are growing old alone, without children, without grandchildren, and without husbands because they bought into that whole bicycle/fish notion or they chased off their men because they were too self-absorbed to realize a man wants to feel needed, and is willing to put up with a lot for the love of a good woman and not one who is reminded of his worthless lot in life?
Because I'm pretty sure that with an attitude like that they're not going to attract or keep any man as well as they will sympathetic co-complainers.
Men won't leave women who will work alongside them to raise a family, and will LOVE them back.
Many men lead lives of quiet desperation. They want someone to be open to, and vulnerable with, and who won't have a knife ready to plunge into their back. Men want support from a safe environment, not battling it out with co-workers or competing with them for a mate. They see plenty of miserable women at work, and probably work for a few who feel they have to compete with men to climb the ladder, and don't mind proving their worth by stepping on a few men in the process.
I'm sure we've all known men with families who work 20-30 years at unfulfilling jobs they despise just in order to take care of their wive and children.
Very well said Justin. I am a nontrad tradwife. I've worked some, but either in our own businesses or once got the opportunity to be an Azalea grower. Which I loved. We weren't able to have children. I've spent my years taking good care of my wonderful man, who has spent his years taking good care of me. We are a team. Ride or die. In all ways. We've been married 29 years. I could never imagine trading my life for a corporate job. I love my life. I adore my husband. And you are so right. Men need nurturing too. 💜
They are so discontented and angry their solution is to tear any other woman down who IS content and happy. It simply boils down to, “if I’m not happy, no one will be”. Coveting others never leads anywhere happy.
Ironically, this topic came up between me and my wife this past weekend. For background, we live a "traditional" life to where I work and she's runs the house. I actually made the realization that when we met, I was making X amount, but in the time we've been together, my salary has doubled. My argument was that if we ever were to break up, she could legally make the argument that that's half her money because it was her taking everything else that allowed me to generate more income. Now of course, we'd never want that to happen, but my point was that my income scaled with and only with her so she played a very valuable role in that.
This new PR attempt to bash "traditional" lifestyles is the same propaganda from the 60s that made women want to stop being at home. Literally, between laws, policies, movies, TV shows, a whole generation of women stopped wanting to be at home:
The greater point I was attempting to make is that it takes two to run a household. I can focus solely on work because she runs the household. She can focus solely on the household because I work. Yes, not everyone can afford this, but it is very much so attainable.
The fear of "divorce" is one that is used often and part of the PR campaign. As I told my wife this weekend, she's literally entitled to half of that, so I would never want to go that fight. Curious (but not really) to the two women's financial status post divorce.
Love the statement: "This isn’t about tradwifery; it’s about not being fiscally ignorant in your marriage. "
Some of us don't love the domestic life and need a job outside the home to feel fulfilled. In hindsight, I wish I had worked part time. The land/house we bought (which we love) would have been impossible without my salary, however. Thankfully, we had grandparents in the area to help out when the kids were young, which was crucial when husband worked weekends and night shift.
I taught for 34 years and now run our home. And I love it. Nothing could induce me to get back into education. Institutions are corrupting. I remember often adopting the views held by my institution, defending it, which sometimes meant actively working against my own personal views. For feminists to argue that working in an institution (mine was higher ed) is somehow empowering and freeing, I argue that it's the opposite: it's actually stifling.
Socialism/communism requires that everybody work. "From each according to (their) ability...." the government decides what you will do for work and when (your ability). And then "... to each according to (their) need....." they decide what you get paid and how you live (your "need"). Socialism/communism thus demands women work on the chain gang or go to the gulag, just like the men. Feminism is socialist/communist ideology, snuck in a different way. It is consistent that socialism/communism insists women put work first, because in a socialist/communist society the state comes first before the needs of the citizens.
There will be no "trad wives" when the socialist revolution comes, so enjoy it while you can. President AOC will allow you to freeze your eggs, but that's about it. And there's no guarantee that when the state decides to allow you to have children with frozen eggs, it'll be your original eggs the state returns to you (if they can find them), or whether they socialize your womb too.
This is also why socialist/communist forces have been attacking the family so relentlessly. There are no socialist/communist "trad wives". There are a lot of socialist/communist single moms though... Traditional families are resilient and require less state intervention than "modern" families, and are therefore the enemy of the socialist/communist movement.
Great article Jenna! I had the joy of being a stay-at-home mom, like my mother, raising five children and being a pastor's wife. It was something we chose right from the beginning and God blessed it and provided everything we needed included being able to send them to Christian Schools that I was very involved in. My prayer is that many young women will see the value of staying home and being their children's caregiver, discipler, and cheerleader! ❤️
I picked "pure internet BS" because that is basically all of instagram and tiktok. Don't people get sick of scrolling an endless feed of people telling them what to do?
Also spoiler: working moms still do all the things stay at home moms do. Men mow the lawn, take out the trash, fix things, and man the barbecue. My kids were raised at "the Learning Garden" and we took them to church. Taking them to church and making them do youth group was the smartest choice. Keeping nicotine urine tests and drug tests in the house and having zero tolerance for underage drinking was the second smartest.
Speaking of man the barbecue, I chuckle because it took me 58 years to get to the point of actually letting him! LOL I was raised so self-sufficient in a Christian home and was reinstalling my own toilet at my first apartment when I got impatient waiting for maintenance to come do it. I regularly disassemble and reassembled what needed fixing. I replaced the logic board on my microwave so I didn’t have to buy a new one, and tore our TV apart to fix that too. I took equal share in all home remodeling, repairs, and yard work efforts. It never occurred to me to ask the nearest man to take care of anything for me, (EXCEPT for killing that spider!) possibly because my dad instilled the “if you want it done right” logic into me, and made sure I was capable.
God knew what he was doing though, given I was a jack-of-all-trades, he brought to me a man skilled in the one thing I was not: electrical wiring! 🤣🤣😂 I married a commercial electrician. Lol. By all means dear, have at it! Oh you’re so strong and capable, I love how you set up my switches. 😂😆 I can build a computer from scratch, but am too afraid to mess with wiring of a house.
I earned my degrees, got my career, worked 13 years in it, and when I got married my nose had to be in everything. I don’t know if that frustrated my husband or not because I wasn’t aware there were any boundaries with what needed doing.
The first child came along and the entire charade of a “career” fell apart. It took me less than three months returning to work, and driving our sitter insane with tedious long notes for how to care for our baby, to know I no longer belonged there, I belonged with my baby, and I quit. I haven’t been back to my career since. 30 years now.
The barbecue …
Suddenly around 2-3 years ago I just started to get lazy and let my husband man the grill ALL the time. 🤣 I must admit … it’s nice! It’s like having my own butler. I feel spoiled. Why did I wait so long? 😫
We used to argue constantly about how to do a manly chore. I saw it as an equal task, he saw it as me intruding on his duty and not letting him play his role. I had to learn that to really honor him meant stepping back and releasing the reins. Let him do the chores that he saw as his territory. But even at the age of 57 I broke a rib lifting and moving an entire pile of 12-ft cedar planks at Home Depot to find the 16 that were the best for our deck. My husband would have grabbed the first 16 off the top and been done with it. But I care more about quality. It was really hard for me to release control, but I eventually got there! So I no longer argue him to death over how to rebuild our porch, or lay new flooring in our house. I let him take the lead. It’s hard for me, but I’m so capable of most things he never gets any chances to actually take care of our household or wife on his own.
It’s just as important for a man to feel valued as it does a woman. We don’t throw one out to gain the other.
I once dated a man who said that men needed to be the hero in their woman’s life. I’ve never forgotten that. You let your husband be the hero 💗. Good on you!
Wow! I am impressed. I do mow the lawn, but I ask husband to gas it up so I don't spill gas on myself. Not sure if he feels needed by that request or annoyed by it.
My mom was the youngest of her siblings. She was the only one to get to go to college, got her degree, worked about 5 years, and then got married and stayed home to raise a family. She was the choir director at our church, which took up lots of time on Sundays and Thursdays, but that was her only paying job.
My brother’s wife got a teaching degree and worked as a teacher a few years after getting married, then raised her family and never went back to work.
My own wife got a teaching degree, got married, and worked the whole time (and still is), only taking time off for maternity leave. We raised our kids together, probably as mediocre parents, together.
Keep your options open, sure, but also keep ear plugs handy for when that 2am screaming baby is inconsolable on your shoulder. No, I’m not kidding.
Until you’ve stepped on a Lego at 3:00 am trying to get to a crying child, or take the only pee you’ve had time to take since the prior Tuesday, you can’t claim proper parenthood.
My wife and I raised 3 boys - 2 adopted, and 1 because "the miracle happened!" She was a nurse and worked the 7 PM to 7 AM shift. I got home from work ASAP (worked 1 hour away), and took over as parent in the evenings when she went to work 4 days a week. It was tough in the early middle and high school years. But as the boys got older, we tried to instill in them "self-sufficiency." It kind of worked mostly. We've been married 47 years and I don't plan on getting "another younger one."
The reason we've been together so long is that I have been instilled with the saying, "What is mine is hers. What is hers is hers!" I still make most of the important decisions, like: What are we going to do in the Middle East? What should be the next move on the international front? etc. She makes the other decisions: Where we are going for vacation. What should I buy to make dinner. What kind of deck we are putting on the house. (You get my drift?)
I have zero proof of this, but it seems more likely that the men who walk out of a marriage just might be married to the Jennifer Welsh's of the world. Even the name of her podcast, "I've Had It" is off putting.
The picture that is painted is a woman having a career as the CEO of a company. In reality many of these end up working at a grocery store or a maid service (doing what they would be doing at home). I believe this was a ruse to get double the workforce and have competition resulting in lower wages. This also resulted in higher home prices because people would ultimately be bidding against a couple that had two incomes instead of one. Daycare as well is an industry created by this goading of women out of the home and into slavery. Don't get me wrong, there are some women that excel in this environment and love the opportunity to follow their dreams. There are also a lot of men that would prefer to stay home with the kids rather than do some meaningless job. It is all about freedom in how you want to live you life.
Many wives and husbands would like to stay home with their kids. When I worked for a corporation, my wife would come meet me for lunch with our daughter and it was soooo hard to say goodbye after lunch and go back to corporate work even though I enjoyed my work. Within one year of this, I started my own business working from home and never looked back. Starting my own business was good long run financially as well as for independence. But being able to spend my days watching my kids grow up was priceless. It made me a part of my family in ways that could never happen in a 9 - 5 job (that always demanded overtime for loyalty).
Jenna, I love this. And I'm a man. My sister and I were raised in the 60s by my mom at home, then in the 70s by a mom who worked - same mom. Feminism told her she needed to take her place in the workforce along with my dad. My sister and I became latchkey kids as preteens. Mom did mostly-unfulfilling secretarial work that probably did more to reinforce her views on "male chauvinist pigs" than put food on the table.
You boiled it down beautifully with this line:
"Our mothers and grandmothers didn’t fight for jobs—they fought for choices." Mom didn't get the part about choices back then, and feminism, I believe, was responsible for her resenting my dad more than strictly necessary.
She's been gone since 2019, so I can't ask her about this anymore. I wish I could go back in time and deliver this article to her when she was in her 30s. I think her life might have been made happier by it.
Obviously no one told the stay at home mums to always have two purses, one he knows about and one he doesn't. My ex wanted a stay at home wife even though there were no kids. But that was so he could go running around town and thought he wouldn't be found out. So when he left for his new found love of his life (that lasted two whole days) he couldn't understand how/why I didn't want him back. That second purse had accummulated $34,000 which was plenty to keep my head above water and start a new business of my own which in turn sold for a small fortune and made for a very happy retirement. When the divorce came to court he wanted my business, my house (bought before I even knew he existed), my bank account, my car, and in return I could have his credit card debt because it was my fault for not taking him back that he had run up such an enormous debt. His face was a picture when he got zilch, zero, nada, nothing.......
No one can predict how their life, or even their marriage, will turn out. We make the best choices we can *at the time* and when something unexpected happens, we adjust. And nothing is more important for a couple than making (and understanding) financial decisions together. Both partners working has put a tremendous stress on modern marriages. Two working parents are doing three full-time jobs, one parent at home and one in the workforce, two people doing two full-time jobs, and the single parent is doing two full-time jobs alone. I'm retired now, but I've been in all three scenarios, and the one parent at work, and one parent at home, is the best arrangement hands down. If you can make it work.
“Because our mothers and grandmothers didn’t fight for jobs—they fought for choices.”
Boom. Mic drop.
Bad ass as always, my beautiful friend. 🙌🤬🍑❤️
Nature designed men to be the protectors and the providers, and for women to be the nurturers and the caretakers.
We are all better off when we understand that men and women are unique and different, and that we need each other and need to work with each other to keep civilization running a little more smoothly.
It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature: https://lizlasorte.substack.com/p/its-not-nice-to-fool-mother-nature?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
There has never been and never will be any proof of this. Your impressions of human history come from a completely whitewashed version where humanity has been tinkering around with sticks and stones for hundreds of thousands of years slaughtering each other raping each other and failing to organize in any meaningful way. None of this is true and as long as you go on believing it you're going to continue to hate on us
Think what you want, but I love God 100% - or at least I try to - thus, I do not hate anyone.
Have you dropped off your 8 week old at day care? If not, you have no understanding of the pain that creates. There is a better way.
Dang, that’s just one angry person right there. Someone pissed in her canteen. 😳
😂
Somehow I think this commenter is a male. If you want to know where a commenter is “at” just look at what they have posted on their personal Substack and who they ‘subscribe’ to.
Paradigm Threat is an interesting guy, and why he’s commenting here on this post I don’t get.
Maybe her sourdough starter died. It does throw one for a loop when that happens.
🤣🤣
Afraid I’m returning home from vacation to find mine dead. I’ll get another starter, tho.
We’ll be expecting a rude and baseless diatribe out of you any moment, along with the announcement of your disgruntledness and departure. *I made up that word.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's HILARIOUS!
I left my son's first day of kindergarten crying my heart out because it felt to me that morning he was now in the hands of an institution, and not mine. Sure, it was silly of me. But it sure hurt at least for that one morning; two hours later he was back home.
I don't think that was silly at all. I think your instincts were good.
If I had only known then what I know now about public schools! I thought they educated, but back then what was upsetting to me was that the government was ordering me to put my child in school. [Plus, his kindergarten teacher called him "Honey Boy" which really annoyed me. LOL]
When my son got to high school, he was not doing all that great one year. So I scheduled an appointment with several of his teachers. I was shocked. Tests that weren't tests. Maybe we had a different mindset. You study the material so you can take a test. And hopefully, you remember that for the rest of your life assuming you don't get dementia.
Your feelings are never silly including your tears. Behavior can be silly though excluding your tears.
@Mary Ann- nope. I felt the same way. Now my daughter's only child is starting Kindergarten in a couple of weeks and she's already feeling that angst.
I have a daughter, and frankly I'm sick of your man hate. Get used to replies like this. lady.
Where do you get “man hate”? I’m lost here
I don't see the man hate, either! Someone got out of bed on the wrong side.
You should learn about a little something called “blocking”. It gives us the freedom to choose NOT to get used to screwballs like you. Imagine that!
I think you replied to the wrong comment for man hate.
I also have a daughter ........ and I'm a man ....... and you are reading things into the conversation that simply don't exist. WTF?
also I'm done with jenna's side. unfollowed. sick of the comments frankly. topics are lame. have a nice life!
Hahahaha but you brought such insight and joy! You'll be missed. ;)
Love when they proclaim they are leaving….. 🙌
Wait! Is it too late to BLOCK?
They are sure afraid of something. They wreak of it. Already blocked.
Man hate...ah, gotchya. I love my husband, and he's a man, so you are wrong about that.
The sincerity of your wish for us to have a nice life is truly touching. I’m moved. I feel so seen.
As for Jenna, I feel sure she’ll work on finding topics more suitable to your tastes, based on your comments.
Come back to us, I beg you!
Also, FYI, sign makers can paint a yard banner announcing your departure should you decide to go through with your departure.
“I’m moved. I feel so seen” 😂🤣🤣 spit my coffee out at that. Lolol
😂😂😂
Who hurt you, sunshine?
Don't let the door hit you on the ass when you leave.
Lolol we will all be better off not having to deal with your lunacy. Thanks for the favor! Toodles!
👋👋👋👋👋
Yay! Have a nice day!
Hate who? Who is "us?"
men.
Thanks. As is obvious, I'm a little slow to pick up what's going on sometimes.
I didn’t understand either
Thanks Claudia. Nice to know I’m not the only one. 😊
Ari- stop. I have a feeling you're better than this.
The Bible teaches us there is nothing new under the sun, which includes both your dark view of human history and the more hopeful and satisfying view of Liz LaSorte. That said, your point was lost on me.
You think rape and slaughter is "white-washed." You don't even know what words mean.
@Threat- slow down there, Trigger. Anthropologically, the male of the human species hunts because he's stronger and faster while the female of the human species gives birth and nurses the young. No one is saying men don't love their children as much as mothers do and not all mothers have that maternal instinct (my granddaughter's mother is a prime example of that).
My husband has torn into those who tried to harm our kids. Guess what. So have I and I was more vicious about it. Maybe because he knows how big he is and how strong, at the time, he was so he held back. I never had to get physical because the look in my eyes told the perp I meant business and I WOULD make things uncomfortable.
There are physical differences which shape the Nature and Nurture but the Nurture part is more forgiving. "It is what it is."
You have a brutal imagination, and/or have somehow managed to get an internet connection from deep in the Congo. You're obviously upset, about "what" we'll never understand.
Oh There is indeed if you study below the surface stories. It’s about intrinsic, achetypal qualities and their energies and learning to balance them.
Good luck to you
Gosh, I bet you’re so happy to wake up every morning! This is a sin riddled world, but you’ve got to look for the lovely and joyful.
Is it just me (disclaimer, I'm a man), or is this a lot of griping from women who thought they could have it all, but are growing old alone, without children, without grandchildren, and without husbands because they bought into that whole bicycle/fish notion or they chased off their men because they were too self-absorbed to realize a man wants to feel needed, and is willing to put up with a lot for the love of a good woman and not one who is reminded of his worthless lot in life?
Because I'm pretty sure that with an attitude like that they're not going to attract or keep any man as well as they will sympathetic co-complainers.
Men won't leave women who will work alongside them to raise a family, and will LOVE them back.
Many men lead lives of quiet desperation. They want someone to be open to, and vulnerable with, and who won't have a knife ready to plunge into their back. Men want support from a safe environment, not battling it out with co-workers or competing with them for a mate. They see plenty of miserable women at work, and probably work for a few who feel they have to compete with men to climb the ladder, and don't mind proving their worth by stepping on a few men in the process.
Men need nurturing too.
I'm sure we've all known men with families who work 20-30 years at unfulfilling jobs they despise just in order to take care of their wive and children.
Very well said Justin. I am a nontrad tradwife. I've worked some, but either in our own businesses or once got the opportunity to be an Azalea grower. Which I loved. We weren't able to have children. I've spent my years taking good care of my wonderful man, who has spent his years taking good care of me. We are a team. Ride or die. In all ways. We've been married 29 years. I could never imagine trading my life for a corporate job. I love my life. I adore my husband. And you are so right. Men need nurturing too. 💜
PS. Have you seen the values being pushed on kids these days in schools? Who wants to have children without a good influence in the home?
So agree…I’m for homeschooling all the way! And I never had any children!
They are so discontented and angry their solution is to tear any other woman down who IS content and happy. It simply boils down to, “if I’m not happy, no one will be”. Coveting others never leads anywhere happy.
Bucket-o-crabs females
I give you Jennifer Welsh.
Ironically, this topic came up between me and my wife this past weekend. For background, we live a "traditional" life to where I work and she's runs the house. I actually made the realization that when we met, I was making X amount, but in the time we've been together, my salary has doubled. My argument was that if we ever were to break up, she could legally make the argument that that's half her money because it was her taking everything else that allowed me to generate more income. Now of course, we'd never want that to happen, but my point was that my income scaled with and only with her so she played a very valuable role in that.
This new PR attempt to bash "traditional" lifestyles is the same propaganda from the 60s that made women want to stop being at home. Literally, between laws, policies, movies, TV shows, a whole generation of women stopped wanting to be at home:
https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/what-kind-of-torture-makes-a-mammal
Ultimately, I've called this an attack on life. An attack on the woman and an attack on the male -- all to stop life from growing: https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/how-feminism-and-dei-destroy-humanitys
The greater point I was attempting to make is that it takes two to run a household. I can focus solely on work because she runs the household. She can focus solely on the household because I work. Yes, not everyone can afford this, but it is very much so attainable.
The fear of "divorce" is one that is used often and part of the PR campaign. As I told my wife this weekend, she's literally entitled to half of that, so I would never want to go that fight. Curious (but not really) to the two women's financial status post divorce.
Love the statement: "This isn’t about tradwifery; it’s about not being fiscally ignorant in your marriage. "
Some of us don't love the domestic life and need a job outside the home to feel fulfilled. In hindsight, I wish I had worked part time. The land/house we bought (which we love) would have been impossible without my salary, however. Thankfully, we had grandparents in the area to help out when the kids were young, which was crucial when husband worked weekends and night shift.
I taught for 34 years and now run our home. And I love it. Nothing could induce me to get back into education. Institutions are corrupting. I remember often adopting the views held by my institution, defending it, which sometimes meant actively working against my own personal views. For feminists to argue that working in an institution (mine was higher ed) is somehow empowering and freeing, I argue that it's the opposite: it's actually stifling.
Medicine was a nightmare before I started my direct care practice
Socialism/communism requires that everybody work. "From each according to (their) ability...." the government decides what you will do for work and when (your ability). And then "... to each according to (their) need....." they decide what you get paid and how you live (your "need"). Socialism/communism thus demands women work on the chain gang or go to the gulag, just like the men. Feminism is socialist/communist ideology, snuck in a different way. It is consistent that socialism/communism insists women put work first, because in a socialist/communist society the state comes first before the needs of the citizens.
There will be no "trad wives" when the socialist revolution comes, so enjoy it while you can. President AOC will allow you to freeze your eggs, but that's about it. And there's no guarantee that when the state decides to allow you to have children with frozen eggs, it'll be your original eggs the state returns to you (if they can find them), or whether they socialize your womb too.
This is also why socialist/communist forces have been attacking the family so relentlessly. There are no socialist/communist "trad wives". There are a lot of socialist/communist single moms though... Traditional families are resilient and require less state intervention than "modern" families, and are therefore the enemy of the socialist/communist movement.
🎯🎯🎯
I am copying and saving your comment - you put it so eloquently, Nonp.
Great article Jenna! I had the joy of being a stay-at-home mom, like my mother, raising five children and being a pastor's wife. It was something we chose right from the beginning and God blessed it and provided everything we needed included being able to send them to Christian Schools that I was very involved in. My prayer is that many young women will see the value of staying home and being their children's caregiver, discipler, and cheerleader! ❤️
Wonderful to hear. Put a huge smile on my face this morning.
Preparing the future generation to be contributing responsible adults is the ultimate job.
If its not for you, leave it to someone else who understands the concept…please!
I picked "pure internet BS" because that is basically all of instagram and tiktok. Don't people get sick of scrolling an endless feed of people telling them what to do?
Also spoiler: working moms still do all the things stay at home moms do. Men mow the lawn, take out the trash, fix things, and man the barbecue. My kids were raised at "the Learning Garden" and we took them to church. Taking them to church and making them do youth group was the smartest choice. Keeping nicotine urine tests and drug tests in the house and having zero tolerance for underage drinking was the second smartest.
Speaking of man the barbecue, I chuckle because it took me 58 years to get to the point of actually letting him! LOL I was raised so self-sufficient in a Christian home and was reinstalling my own toilet at my first apartment when I got impatient waiting for maintenance to come do it. I regularly disassemble and reassembled what needed fixing. I replaced the logic board on my microwave so I didn’t have to buy a new one, and tore our TV apart to fix that too. I took equal share in all home remodeling, repairs, and yard work efforts. It never occurred to me to ask the nearest man to take care of anything for me, (EXCEPT for killing that spider!) possibly because my dad instilled the “if you want it done right” logic into me, and made sure I was capable.
God knew what he was doing though, given I was a jack-of-all-trades, he brought to me a man skilled in the one thing I was not: electrical wiring! 🤣🤣😂 I married a commercial electrician. Lol. By all means dear, have at it! Oh you’re so strong and capable, I love how you set up my switches. 😂😆 I can build a computer from scratch, but am too afraid to mess with wiring of a house.
I earned my degrees, got my career, worked 13 years in it, and when I got married my nose had to be in everything. I don’t know if that frustrated my husband or not because I wasn’t aware there were any boundaries with what needed doing.
The first child came along and the entire charade of a “career” fell apart. It took me less than three months returning to work, and driving our sitter insane with tedious long notes for how to care for our baby, to know I no longer belonged there, I belonged with my baby, and I quit. I haven’t been back to my career since. 30 years now.
The barbecue …
Suddenly around 2-3 years ago I just started to get lazy and let my husband man the grill ALL the time. 🤣 I must admit … it’s nice! It’s like having my own butler. I feel spoiled. Why did I wait so long? 😫
We used to argue constantly about how to do a manly chore. I saw it as an equal task, he saw it as me intruding on his duty and not letting him play his role. I had to learn that to really honor him meant stepping back and releasing the reins. Let him do the chores that he saw as his territory. But even at the age of 57 I broke a rib lifting and moving an entire pile of 12-ft cedar planks at Home Depot to find the 16 that were the best for our deck. My husband would have grabbed the first 16 off the top and been done with it. But I care more about quality. It was really hard for me to release control, but I eventually got there! So I no longer argue him to death over how to rebuild our porch, or lay new flooring in our house. I let him take the lead. It’s hard for me, but I’m so capable of most things he never gets any chances to actually take care of our household or wife on his own.
It’s just as important for a man to feel valued as it does a woman. We don’t throw one out to gain the other.
I once dated a man who said that men needed to be the hero in their woman’s life. I’ve never forgotten that. You let your husband be the hero 💗. Good on you!
Wow! I am impressed. I do mow the lawn, but I ask husband to gas it up so I don't spill gas on myself. Not sure if he feels needed by that request or annoyed by it.
LINGOL!!!!!!!!!
🤣
My mom was the youngest of her siblings. She was the only one to get to go to college, got her degree, worked about 5 years, and then got married and stayed home to raise a family. She was the choir director at our church, which took up lots of time on Sundays and Thursdays, but that was her only paying job.
My brother’s wife got a teaching degree and worked as a teacher a few years after getting married, then raised her family and never went back to work.
My own wife got a teaching degree, got married, and worked the whole time (and still is), only taking time off for maternity leave. We raised our kids together, probably as mediocre parents, together.
Keep your options open, sure, but also keep ear plugs handy for when that 2am screaming baby is inconsolable on your shoulder. No, I’m not kidding.
Until you’ve stepped on a Lego at 3:00 am trying to get to a crying child, or take the only pee you’ve had time to take since the prior Tuesday, you can’t claim proper parenthood.
ear plugs, best invention ever
Good article Jenna.
My wife and I raised 3 boys - 2 adopted, and 1 because "the miracle happened!" She was a nurse and worked the 7 PM to 7 AM shift. I got home from work ASAP (worked 1 hour away), and took over as parent in the evenings when she went to work 4 days a week. It was tough in the early middle and high school years. But as the boys got older, we tried to instill in them "self-sufficiency." It kind of worked mostly. We've been married 47 years and I don't plan on getting "another younger one."
The reason we've been together so long is that I have been instilled with the saying, "What is mine is hers. What is hers is hers!" I still make most of the important decisions, like: What are we going to do in the Middle East? What should be the next move on the international front? etc. She makes the other decisions: Where we are going for vacation. What should I buy to make dinner. What kind of deck we are putting on the house. (You get my drift?)
I have zero proof of this, but it seems more likely that the men who walk out of a marriage just might be married to the Jennifer Welsh's of the world. Even the name of her podcast, "I've Had It" is off putting.
I always think of this song by Sunny (not Sydney) Sweeney when that topic comes up...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh99HQITOBY
😉
❤️🤣
😂😂
The picture that is painted is a woman having a career as the CEO of a company. In reality many of these end up working at a grocery store or a maid service (doing what they would be doing at home). I believe this was a ruse to get double the workforce and have competition resulting in lower wages. This also resulted in higher home prices because people would ultimately be bidding against a couple that had two incomes instead of one. Daycare as well is an industry created by this goading of women out of the home and into slavery. Don't get me wrong, there are some women that excel in this environment and love the opportunity to follow their dreams. There are also a lot of men that would prefer to stay home with the kids rather than do some meaningless job. It is all about freedom in how you want to live you life.
Many wives and husbands would like to stay home with their kids. When I worked for a corporation, my wife would come meet me for lunch with our daughter and it was soooo hard to say goodbye after lunch and go back to corporate work even though I enjoyed my work. Within one year of this, I started my own business working from home and never looked back. Starting my own business was good long run financially as well as for independence. But being able to spend my days watching my kids grow up was priceless. It made me a part of my family in ways that could never happen in a 9 - 5 job (that always demanded overtime for loyalty).
"Women were encouraged to put themselves—not their demanding spouses or their annoying spawn—first for a change. Get a job!"
Where putting themselves first very likely includes paying massive sums for childcare after paying taxes on their earnings. Great for "the system."
I'm not extremely well-qualified to tell women, or anyone else, how to live their lives, but I don't think anyone else is either.
Jenna, I love this. And I'm a man. My sister and I were raised in the 60s by my mom at home, then in the 70s by a mom who worked - same mom. Feminism told her she needed to take her place in the workforce along with my dad. My sister and I became latchkey kids as preteens. Mom did mostly-unfulfilling secretarial work that probably did more to reinforce her views on "male chauvinist pigs" than put food on the table.
You boiled it down beautifully with this line:
"Our mothers and grandmothers didn’t fight for jobs—they fought for choices." Mom didn't get the part about choices back then, and feminism, I believe, was responsible for her resenting my dad more than strictly necessary.
She's been gone since 2019, so I can't ask her about this anymore. I wish I could go back in time and deliver this article to her when she was in her 30s. I think her life might have been made happier by it.
🥹🩷
Obviously no one told the stay at home mums to always have two purses, one he knows about and one he doesn't. My ex wanted a stay at home wife even though there were no kids. But that was so he could go running around town and thought he wouldn't be found out. So when he left for his new found love of his life (that lasted two whole days) he couldn't understand how/why I didn't want him back. That second purse had accummulated $34,000 which was plenty to keep my head above water and start a new business of my own which in turn sold for a small fortune and made for a very happy retirement. When the divorce came to court he wanted my business, my house (bought before I even knew he existed), my bank account, my car, and in return I could have his credit card debt because it was my fault for not taking him back that he had run up such an enormous debt. His face was a picture when he got zilch, zero, nada, nothing.......
No one can predict how their life, or even their marriage, will turn out. We make the best choices we can *at the time* and when something unexpected happens, we adjust. And nothing is more important for a couple than making (and understanding) financial decisions together. Both partners working has put a tremendous stress on modern marriages. Two working parents are doing three full-time jobs, one parent at home and one in the workforce, two people doing two full-time jobs, and the single parent is doing two full-time jobs alone. I'm retired now, but I've been in all three scenarios, and the one parent at work, and one parent at home, is the best arrangement hands down. If you can make it work.
Jenna seriously is Meme Pro Level+++
😂🩷💪