104 Comments
User's avatar
Janna's avatar

I don’t mean to brag but I have the exact same medical degree as Bill Gates.

clem h fandango's avatar

Oh man, that needs to be a T-shirt...

DJL's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ priceless😂

Janet's avatar
1hEdited

Winner. Winner, bird flu chicken dinner.

Indrek Sarapuu's avatar

Wow!

So do I!

That makes us alumni...

Mary H.'s avatar

Perfection 🎯!!

Carolyn's avatar

Love, love that statement

nancylee's avatar

Hahahahaha let's take a poll Me too and got the same college degree

Teresa Parmenter's avatar

Definitely needs to be a t-shirt. Please put that statement on the back and not the front this time k?!?

John Wright's avatar

"Please panic accordingly." - Jenna, you've nailed it with that single sentence. Hopefully 99% of us completely ignore the WHO.

Now I want the kitten videos!

Janet's avatar

Damn straight. I only have YouTube and I pushed a magic ➡️⚫️ . And almost all shorts are gone. I have to look for the furry cuteness now.

John Wright's avatar

As much as I hate Instagram, they do have a lot of furry cuteness.

Teresa Parmenter's avatar

That’s mainly what’s in my feed on Instacrap - animals.

Meddling Kid's avatar

I’m on team “Let’s bomb all of the virus labs with the ‘scientists’ still in them” as the best way to stop a pandemic.

nancylee's avatar

Hmm be more effective to bomb those who fund them?

Meddling Kid's avatar

I see no reason why we cannot compromise and do both.

Request approved!

Janet's avatar

Can I push the triggers or open the bomb doors from my B52? I’ll arm wrestle you for that privilege.

Tim Pallies's avatar

Ooooh! Can we make that a pay-per-view?

Graphite's avatar

Meddling Kid vs Janet! Roll up, Roll up! Get your tickets here! 🤣🇨🇦

Meddling Kid's avatar

Absolutely no conflict here. I’ll definitely be piloting, and she is more than welcome to be bombardier, bombardieress, button pusher, etc.

Ginny Moore's avatar

“I know. We haven’t even taken our hantavirus decorations down yet and already we’re doing Ebola.” 🤣🤣🤣

Girl. You keep me informed AND give me great giggles first thing in the morning. ❤️

Also food poisoning from bad potato salad is horrendous. 🤢

Bad ass! 🙌🤬🍑😘

Justin's avatar

Is it the gas? Flamage? Hemorrhoids? Which bad ass are we talking here?

Asking for a friend... 'cause IIIII ain't claiming it.

Curtis's avatar

Agree on the potato salad. Been there and literally thought I was going to die.

Janet's avatar

I’m not sure modern ultra processed fake mayo in potato salad has the same effect but the rest of the junk in it might. I make my own mayo with eggs so yes. (Like magic with a stick blender) my salad could do it.

Anthony S Burkett's avatar

I LOVE homemade Mayo!!!

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

I do, too! It's weirdly surreal/magical/beautiful if you do it in a mason jar and can watch it puff up into big white clouds! I'm obsessed. :)

Curtis's avatar

In my case I'm sure it was the potatoes or eggs. My wife was in the hospital for four weeks preparing to give birth to our first. We'd cooked the eggs and potatoes "previously" and I guess I lost track of how long ago... 🙄 When I told her that I'd made it, she says; "You didn't use the potatoes and eggs in the fridge did you??" 😂

Graphite's avatar

Modern Mayo seems to be mostly Canola oil! Well, here in Canada anyway 🙄 🤷 🇨🇦

Anthony S Burkett's avatar

Two days sick as hell from a small town restaurant's potato salad while on work a related road trip through Tennesseel with my general manager... I could only hold down small sips of water and could find the bathroom at the Alcoa Aluminum plant with my eyes closed... on the third day while driving to our next appointment at our corporate headquarters in Nashville, he pulled over at a road-side liquor store and got me two airplane sized bottles of Dewar's Blended Scotch Whisky... told me to suck both of them down as fast as I could... I was eating Steak dinner that night in a very swanky restaurant in downtown Nashville... That was 35 years ago by my recollection, and I've been a fan of Dewar's ever sense!... :D

Russell Schierling's avatar

No one - and I do mean NO ONE - is better at taking a serious topic (albeit a BS one) and making me spew my coffee. The meme with Morpheus was hysterical. One of these days, Jenna, I want to see an entire post telling a story with nothing but memes! If there is one person on the planet that could do it, you are it!

Justin's avatar

El Gato Malo attempts to do just that weekly in two meme laden posts on Sunday. Although I honestly can't tell you much about the quality of the connective sentences to carry the story.

I'm just there for the memes, maaaan.

And I'm usually laughing pretty well before church. (It almost feels sacrilegious, tbh, when you see the mean-pools and then go to church. The other are meme-pools. Sometimes they're super-mean-pools. Some you have to think about pretty hard, and then once you get them, it's worth the laugh.)

Momcat's avatar

I'm old enough to remember how Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins decided ebola was no big deal in 2014. However, in 2020, he was all in on covid lockdowns, having Shelley Luther arrested for opening her hair salon. Aparwntly, there was no money to be made on ebola like there was with covid.

John Wright's avatar

'tis all about the money!

Jpeach's avatar

The WHO, Gates, Globalists, Deep State, Democratic Party, CCP and the last remaining Mullah are getting desperate. Plandemics have joined the Sony Walkman in the dustbin of history.

Jim Moore's avatar

You write: … (Don’t ask me how you can have 80 deaths with only 8 confirmed cases. I’m not a scientist or a mathematician, okay?)

Me: Maybe they’re 80 “suspected” deaths? Stand by for updates from our pool of experts still trying to figure it out. 🤔 😄

Meddling Kid's avatar

Right, it’s not like there aren’t deaths everywhere and all the time so even in the remote African town where a breakout occurs, grandma dies and people are still murdered.

John Wright's avatar

Even the CDC (or should I say especially the CDC) can't accomplish a simple task like counting corpses. It's truly challenging!

Meddling Kid's avatar

Died FROM Ebola,

died WITH Ebola,

died ADJACENT TO Ebola, and

died WHILE EBOLA WAS BEING REFERENCED IN A MAJOR MUSICAL MOTION PICTURE WITHIN A 1,000 MILE RADIUS

…is really all the same to the CDC. Just another box to check.

Tim Pallies's avatar

A simple "like" was not enough for this gem! 🤣🤣🤣😍😍👌👌👌

nancylee's avatar

Center for disease creation

Judith's avatar

From what I read they are redefining “death” due to organ harvesting. Maybe that’s part of the math equation?

Graphite's avatar

Death from ebola - or death with ebola... 🤣😂😅

David Nelson's avatar

It's beginning to feel less like Virus-Flavor-of-the-Month and more like Throw-𝙎𝙝*𝙩𝙚!-at-the-Inside-of-the-TeeVee-Screen to see if 𝙎𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜/𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜! will Stick! ("We've got WAREHOUSES FULL OF PRODUCT THAT AREN'T GOING TO INJECT THEIR SELFS!!")

And "It’s worth noting that Ebola is not airborne."

"But Gates' 'people' are working on it."

Graphite's avatar

When the ebola contaminated bodily fluids hit the fan! 🤣

Elaine Courtney's avatar

OMG! I laughed through your entire essay! I love your writing and humor! "In other words, you’d essentially have to enjoy (?) prolonged, intimate contact with someone in the middle of actively liquefying—which, given the symptom list, is not a situation most people are going to accidentally stumble into" LMAO!!!!!

arrotsevni's avatar

Good place to repost this advice from DR. Zelenko(now deceased). Zinc and vitamin D3 are good treatments for single strand RNA viruses. A little ivermectin with these is also beneficial.

https://substack.com/@revealedeye/note/c-257681865?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=1p6kzs

Roberta Stack's avatar

“We haven’t even taken our hantavirus decorations down yet and already we’re doing Ebola.” I’m still laughing 😂😂😂😂

The absurdity of it all!

Richard schoenenberger's avatar

We’re a little slow in our household…exactly what would hantavirus deco look like?

Metta's avatar

Think Steven Colbert and the dancing hypodermics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq76QSlRiPo

BARBARA F LYONS's avatar

"World Hysteria Organization" - perfect! With the Memorial Day weekend coming up, I think our greater fear should be potato salad that's been sitting out in the sun too long.

Love you, Jenna! ❤️

Mike Means's avatar

Can we get a Bill Gates. Vaccine?

The Great Santini's avatar

Bill and Melinda Gates, and most people who worked for them, should all be in prison making license plates. Just sayin’

Vee's avatar

World Hysteria Organization is soo good! I love seeing how everyone here is more afraid of potato salad and vending machines than the latest fear virus porn.

Tim Pallies's avatar

Given the typical stock, you have to wonder how many lives have been snuffed out early, at least in part, due to vending machines.

DJL's avatar
3hEdited

246/8/80. 🧐 the math ain’t mathin’