50 Comments
User's avatar
Vee's avatar

I'm baby waffled that the tornadologists didn't use climate change as the most likely safe and effective possibility. I'm starting to think that baffled is actually synonymous for "don't want to go down that rabbit hole because I still want to make a living for the machine".

Sheila Dempsey, PhD's avatar

YES! 😂 Well said, and my thought exactly.

Laura Kasner's avatar

A new acronym - ABV (Anything But the Vax).

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

YESSSSSSSSSSS. Stealing for future use (with credit, OFC). ;)

Laura Kasner's avatar

😀 I can’t take credit. I’ve seen it many times in stack comments.

Jay Skywatcher's avatar

Back in 1976, I had a cute 17 year old high school (real female) graduate working in my shop that could sell ice to any male Eskimo. Her favorite saying was, "If you can't dazzle them with facts or your intelligence, baffle them with bullshit!"

Jay Skywatcher's avatar

Just thinking out loud here but it might be why there are still some baffled people that worship our White House Resident.

Gogs's avatar

Or deranged...supporting an increasingly baffled but still dangerously bloodthirsty and corrupt president.

Deacon Brad's avatar

President Eisenhower used this approach, too. (Maybe Joe's sharp as a tack and this senility thing is just an act. Yikes!)

Unapologetically Me's avatar

Too funny Jenna!

I trust most of your readers are spitting coffee too.

Your husband is a lucky man.

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

I’ll be sure to tell him you said so!🤣

N. Walker's avatar

Glad my phone is waterproof 🤭

Jon Swenson's avatar

Thanks for the first steps in the scientific method.

Too often schools forget the first step.

Michelle's avatar

Lol, that dance just about sums it up, doesn't it. Are we at peak absurdity yet?

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

With these bozos, I'm not sure "peak absurdity" is even reachable.

Michelle's avatar

Yep, every time I think that we must be there now, another range shows up behind that and then another.

I like the way you use a bit of sardonic humor in your writing, it makes things a little more bearable. A laugh is good medicine.

JimB's avatar

Peak Absurdity, I like the term however I’m not sure were there….

Isabel's avatar

Jenna, it’s not often that a Substack can literally make me laugh out loud, but this one did it! The “Those who trust the government” photo(s) was just the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you for your brilliance and finding humor in this bizarre existence we find ourselves in.

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

My pleasure, friend. Appreciate folks like you. :)

Shelly Thorn's avatar

Nice one! I always appreciate your style.

(I saw a recent conversation between Mikki Willis and Jimmy Dore where Willis complimented Dore on his work, noting how humor is needed to help swallow the absurd, dark truths. He said it so well and I think he spoke of something that is a sign of a growing trend; I expect that our future will be full of people sharing their perspectives and experiences in ways that look nothing like the media of the past. We will see people with humor, with compassion, with holistic perspectives, with solutions… all kinds of things of value that the media establishment stripped away.)

Thank you for the effort you make to wrap the absurdity in smart humor!

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

I hope that is EXACTLY what our future is full of! :) The media is dead... and thanks for taking the time to comment. :)

Deacon Brad's avatar

Completely unrelated to the stupid scientists but right in line with mandatory narrative phrasing, a college buddy once pointed out that buses always plunge. He used to collect "bus plunge" headlines. Buses plunge into roadside ditches, even.

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

What else could they possibly do? Teeter? Careen? Wobble?🤣🤣🤣

Nancy Parsons's avatar

Once again, you got my morning off to a laugh-filled start! Thank you!

However, I have to quibble with your wordsmithing about the word "baffled." I have it on excellent authority (mine) that "baffled" originates from the ancient Sumerian word, "bah-fled", meaning, "an immature disinclination to tell the truth, particularly when a potential loss of money is a factor." Thought you´d like to know!

Hugs and love, Jenna!

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

Bahahaha the more you know! ;)

AJoy's avatar

I’m baffled why anyone would want to sleep with 80 yo Robert De Niro and have him father their child?! Did you know he has a 10 month old baby? His baby is now auntie to his 56 yo old son. I didn’t know this or care until my young son read it, forwarded it to me, and asked if it was true. So many things baffle me lol especially stupidity :/

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

There are lots of star f*ckers out there HI ANNA NICOLE SMITH who would do anything to have a celeb's baby. So gross. Also I'm confused how this baby is an auntie? Wouldn't she be the sister? (Not being argumentative, just clarifying!)

AJoy's avatar

It’s all so gross and yes the baby is the auntie to his teenage grandchildren, ugh.

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

So horrifying and heartbreaking.

Mara's avatar

As a fellow word nerd, you might find it interesting that baffle as a noun is

"a device used to restrain the flow of a fluid, gas, etc. or to prevent the spreading of sound or light in a particular direction." (Oxford dictionary.)

David Wolosik's avatar

Good one. My favorite word concerning "experts" of all types is "unexpected". Unexpected inflation numbers, unexpected unemployment rises or falls just to name a very few.

PamelaDrew's avatar

The Science™ died from exceedingly rare side effects!

The Critical Middle's avatar

Omg, I snarfed out loud reading Step 2.5. This moment in history is just wonderful for humor!