258 Comments
User's avatar
Meddling Kid's avatar

One thing I know you’ll never do twice after having a bout of nausea and diarrhea simultaneously is to forget to use a liner (grocery bag at minimum) in your bathroom waste baskets.

If you ever had the squirts and felt the urge to heave, you really don’t want to heave into a load of trash. Or more accurately…you really don’t want to have to clean out a waste basket full of bathroom trash that’s been heave-sauced.

Be civilized, save your grocery bags and reuse them as can liners. Your heaveself will thank you for the easy pullout.

Richard schoenenberger's avatar

I am now trying to un-picture that.

Caroline's avatar

I’m still trying to unsee the Norovirus warning.

Laura Kasner's avatar

I’ve had it. Spot on graphic.

I was afraid I was going to die then hoped I would. 😩

Meddling Kid's avatar

But I’m sure it was still more fun than calamari clots. 👍🏻🍝

Laura Kasner's avatar

🤣😂🤣

I think I will be forever known as the Queen of Clots.

SadieJay's avatar

Did you take Ivermectin?

Laura Kasner's avatar

This was 2016 so I had never even heard of IVM. I was working at a medical conference in Austin, TX. Forty-some people who stayed at the hotel got sick. They had to comp our rooms because most were too sick to fly home.

CDC called me after I got home to ask for the gory details.

Jewell's avatar

Interesting. I've known about Ivermectin at least since 2011 when I adopted a dog who had seizures from it. Maybe I knew about it before then because I've had dogs for decades. I don't give them that stuff anymore.

Jewell's avatar

I couldn't agree with you more. But we can't say it with words anymore, it has to be pictures.

Karen Bandy's avatar

There’s such a thing as plastic reusable grocery bags anymore? Oregon and Washington outlawed them years ago. They make perfect bucket 🪣 liners for my cats scooped litter and I am totally out now as I hoarded them before they were outlawed. A few months ago I scored some when I cleaned out dad’s garage. When he was still alive he would parcel out a few to me once in a while, begrudgingly I might add and they don’t even have a cat! He must have been saving them for a food poisoning event such as you describe! 🤣

SadieJay's avatar

I can come to your town and sell illegal bags. Send me a pin...I will stay with you. 70-30 split. 😁

Karen Bandy's avatar

😂 I think you’re 5-6 hours away, might be worth the drive, especially since you’d be getting 70%

Cheryl Moore Amelang's avatar

Have large family in Texas and an HEB. Can ship to you! 🤣 Contact me and I’ll mail to you. Had no idea they were banned in some states! Yes, I use them as my bathroom trashcan liner and they come in handy! Extra thankful for Texas right now! Lol! Cherylmusicadmin@gmail.com

Bitsy54's avatar

Funny thing, during the Scamdemic in Commiefornia, suddenly we were banned from using our mandated reusable grocery bags. In a hit NY minute, CA returned to plastic grocery bags. I staged a crying, wailing outburst at a Safeway checkout: “what about the dolphins?! We’re gonna kill the dolphins!,” “We are polluting our earth with plastic refuse!, oh Noooooo” It was fun!

Frontera Lupita's avatar

Yes, Commifornia has banned plastic bags AGAIN! I think this is our third go round on the plastic bag ban.

All we have in the form of a plastic bag are those light green “compostable produce bags” that practical melt when you put something in them. And do not store your produce in the them! The produce starts to rot within 24 hours! So what wonderful chemical concoction is in those bags that makes them “compostable”?

Yet they still sell plastic trash liners and plastic food storage bags!

Karen Bandy's avatar

Thank you Cheryl! Jenna found some on Amazon so I went ahead and ordered. Thanks again, you’re sweet.

Cheryl Moore Amelang's avatar

Awww, no problem! Glad you found some!

TruthSeeker's avatar

I visit the recycle bin at my local grocery store. The bags are clean and bundled nicely. I need these for my incontinent centenarian mother’s diapers. Some shoppers refuse to bring a bag and would rather pay for one then drop it in recycling later. I’m too cheap😂

Karen Bandy's avatar

The smaller produce bags would work for diapers too. Not sure what my mom uses. I’ll have to suggest them to her cuz sometimes the garbage isn’t as ‘fresh’ as it could be. She lives in a retirement community and has to rely on neighbors to take her trash to the dumpster. It’s really a big problem. Sometimes when I go visit there’s tons of recycling and 3-4 bags of garbage in her garbage. The HOA people won’t address the problem.

Frontera Lupita's avatar

Well those “smaller produce bags” out in Commifornia are these flimsy light green “compostable bags”. Produce starts to break down within 24 hours if it is stored in these “compostable bags”. I wouldn’t want to put a “soiled diaper” of any kind in them!

TruthSeeker's avatar

No kidding, I use them to throw food scraps into my green/yard waste bin, they destroy the freshness of produce. I recently ordered old-fashioned produce bags on Amazon to transfer my produce to in the refrigerator. They’re not big enough for adult diapers.

Karen Bandy's avatar

They feel so creepy too.

Meddling Kid's avatar

Here in TN that’s all we have. Whole Foods still uses paper but charges you for them. All other stores like Kroger, Publix, etc. only use plastic. Might have paper if you asked, not sure. Aldi still makes you bring your own or buy a reusable one.

Karen Bandy's avatar

Ps, if anyone from a sane state wants to send me some I would be highly appreciative 💕

Karen Bandy's avatar

Thank you! Excellent solution. Duh! Lol!

I’ll take some to my mom too.

VanLife Views's avatar

Just moved back to AZ

Stockpiled up right away

Yes I’ve sent many a care package to the golden state of Newscum and Oregon.

Their handy as well as a few plastic straws

Karen Bandy's avatar

It’s so goofy, straws are back here! Maybe in CA too!

Debby's avatar

I just moved to Florida. They use plastic bags everywhere. I lived in Massachusetts, and our town required paper bags, but you could shop in the next town and get plastic. Three minutes away for paper and seven minutes away for plastic. How does that help anything?

Margie G's avatar

Amazon has them, both the grocery bag and produce bag sizes!

Jennifer McDermott's avatar

I steal plastic grocery bags from my NH friend. Vermont has outlawed them as well. So now I have to pay to line the bathroom trash - but don’t those bags cause just as much damage in production and usage? It’s all so stupid.

Karen Bandy's avatar

Ha! It’s ok because your state won’t be contributing to global warming! Kind of a NIMBY thing. So stupid.

Kaycee's avatar

have you tried eBay? I mean, they used to sell everything. I get them as packing material from people I buy things from on yes, eBay. LOL. worth a try anyway.

Judy Baker's avatar

Come to Texas and you can get enough plastic bags for a year ( unless you are in Austin where the blurriest live). Avoid Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. Kroger and HEB are great. My hubby uses them for dag walks and trash can liners and we never run out.

Judy Baker's avatar

Sorry for the spelling, apparently my tablet knows what I want to say better than I do.

May's avatar

or worse...... and yep I know firsthand.. you don't want to "leave" when you get the urge to 'heave" in search of an appropriate vomit bowl because , because nothing good EVER comes from de-throning yourself from the porcelain bowl during a tandem orifice shower spray. NO ONE, can time that perfectly :/

Valerie's avatar

Wow… that was surely, um, descriptive. 😬

Doug's avatar

Hey, if I'm already in the bathroom for that, I'm just sticking my head in the toilet.

And before anybody goes "eeewwww", note that I keep that sucker clean.

Meddling Kid's avatar

Doug, sweet Doug, no one is poo-pooing your toilet scrubbing skills. We’re merely pointing out that sometimes things happen in a sequence and manner that you aren’t prepared for, and no amount of courtesy flushing is going to clean away the upper-level colon spray where you are about to put your face in that scenario, not to mention the potential of splashback into your open mouth from that fresh flush that you believe will re-perfect the sitting environment (it won’t).

No, I prefer to remain seated and let the bowl do what the bowl does best, which is let my nether cheeks be the gasket between the swirlie zone and anything that ever comes out of that end, while my mouth searches for something within reach that doesn’t regularly host fecal parties. The trash can is the usual best choice, and I’m hoping I never find myself in the home of someone who thinks that one of those woven wire mesh baskets like you might find in an office in 1950 would be a good industrial look for bathroom furnishings. 🗑️

Doug's avatar

Kid, you make good points.. It's been a long while since I've had it coming out of both ends, let alone simultaneously.

Getting rid of that mesh basket right now... ; )

kittynana's avatar

@Meddling- I had a wicker basket in my bathroom. Had to line it with grocery bags because I never knew when a panic attack or my divertiulosis would act up. However, I found those bags can have holes in them which makes cleaning up even worse. I now have a solid basket. i simply dump the trash onto the floor and have at it, flush the contents down the toilet, and clean it in the shower with the handheld.

Meddling Kid's avatar

Precisely my point, kittynana. You’ve been there, done that, and survived without having to clean vomit out of the cracks in the baseboards. 👍🏻🤣 But a solid can PLUS a liner of any sort makes the trash cleanup that much easier.

kittynana's avatar

@Meddling- except for that one time last year when vomiting came on so suddenly- think a movie scene- where I didn't even make it to the sink, much less the toilet. THAT was a mess to clean, I'll tell ya.

JCrutcher's avatar

Hopefully, there are new people here that can learn from this advice. I appreciate your description and hubby and I, ROFL.

We learned about it long ago.

May's avatar

I learned it the hardway too. Never leave a throne. Bad things happen

Katherine's avatar

Paper or plastic?!

(lol)

Laura Kasner's avatar

Or worse, a wicker trash can

Jennifer L.'s avatar

Meddling Kid, now, now you know those plastic bags are a no-no😂. Personally I hate using recycled plastic grocery bags that do not fit bathroom size trash cans. The medium size plastic trash bags are not that expensive and fit the containers much better so the “heave sauce” does not end up dribbling outside the handles of grocery store bags and into the can.

Meddling Kid's avatar

Jennifer, I admire your standards. A better bag is…well…better. I’m merely saying that AT MINIMUM, do not put a trash can in your bathroom with no liner when you are already coming home with plastic grocery bags that can be reused. Garage cans can be washed out.

David Griffin's avatar

I thought those bags are nonexistent ever since we saved the planet.

Jewell's avatar

I wasn't in the bathroom at the time. I was in bed and grabbed the little wastebasket with tissues in it which went down the toilet with all the heaving. I think that prevents any splash back when you are heaving. Ha ha ha. Luckily, for me it was only the heaving.

It was the onset of Vertigo. Migraine headache and dizziness and then heaving. After it's all over, everything is gone except some of the dizziness. That remains for a couple of days. I happy to say: I haven't had that happen for over a year or two. Yay. Getting old is hell.

Lo_retta's avatar

HAH! I squirrel away ANY plastic bags from the grocery store because NO GROCERY STORE uses them anymore! I'll just take my chances...again...

Romgrp's avatar

Oh my 🤣 ! A worthy tip!

John Wright's avatar

Once again... turning off the "news" saves humanity!

nancylee's avatar

John wright for the win

Keith Jajko's avatar

☝️☝️This!!

Janine Melnitz's avatar

Hopefully, the one good thing to come out of Covid is that people now just give the middle finger to all the panic porn produced by the media and their masters.

Graphite 🇨🇦's avatar

Greens are what my food eats 🤣😁🇨🇦

Russell Schierling's avatar

People are ignoring this and similar en masse. The only thing COVID did was wake a lot of people up to a lot of BS. Monkey Pox, Haunta, whatever... The harder they work at this, the more people (yawn) ignore them. Dave Barry came out of retirement and is now on SS. It reminds me of how he described Y2K the day after... "I think I heard that a cash register failed somewhere in Singapore".

Franklin O'Kanu's avatar

1,000% agree here. Hanta was looking like it may be something big but turned out to be a dud opening the door for all kinds of crises to be examined: https://unorthodoxy.substack.com/p/seven-reasons-hantavirus-is-a-hoax

Trust in public office is failing and ironically that’s a good thing. People are ignoring lies and living their lives

GK's avatar

They keep Huntin for a virus to make us Zika

TriciaandHerDog's avatar

Remember the Zika virus? That was a few years ago. It caused tiny heads in babies born to mothers who contracted it (by mosquito, I think). It also mostly happened south of the border, Florida and maybe Texas. It’s still around but the hysteria has moved on.

Russell Schierling's avatar

I'd forgotten about that one. BTW, great online name!

Sir Tom of Northfield's avatar

If you believe government "experts" you will get what you deserve.

David Nelson's avatar

Sir Tom, IF "experts" is a verb, I do believe, and STILL your sentence makes sense!

TJ Goerlitz's avatar

Oh my God Jenna, how do you come up with lines like: ”the sanitation practices in some growing regions make a Coachella porta-potty look like the Mayo Clinic.“

Thanks a lot my coffee snorted right up my nostrils!!! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️😂

JudyC's avatar

Her post should come with a warning label! “CAUTION….”

SHug's avatar

But, that is most of Jenna's posts.....

Jenna McCarthy's avatar

Aw, shucks. :)

(Wait... MOST? Hahahahaha.)

Doug's avatar

Yes, I also found that flowery bit of prose quite evocative.

Pastor Mike's avatar

Oh I remember the Good Ol' Days of life as a missionary in Central America. There wasn't a scrap of produce that came through the door that didn't get a good washing followed by a chlorine soak. You could not drink the water - ever - without treatment, not even the water used to wash vegetables. It was crazy time consuming.

We got it so good here.

David Nelson's avatar

...and everybody said, "AMEN!"

Heather B's avatar

Same in the Philippines. And I once went to a party where the host didn't wash the lettuce in chlorox so everyone who ate the salad got dysentery. Thank goodness I was pregnant and had bad morning sickness (all day long) so I didn't eat it.

JudyC's avatar

Same here! Spending 20 years in third world countries teaches you a hell of a lot about food safety protocols, that’s for sure! We also took hydroxychloroquine daily as well!

Maureen's avatar

I got dysentery in the Honduras on a youth mission team….good times…..

Pastor Mike's avatar

Yup ... that is exactly where we lived

Connie Lemmincakes's avatar

First no meat. Now no vegetables. Sounds like they are really pushing frankenfood. It’s so safe and (not) delicious!!

Flippin’ Jersey's avatar

This is what happens when you “Chicken Little” everything under the sun, including the sun. Anything the media can use to scare the public is amplified until normally rational people lose their minds. I try to abide by the sage words of Public Enemy, “don’t believe the hype.”

nancylee's avatar

Possibility of rain in Texas always accompanied by severe weather flood watch and then we get another tenth of an inch

Doug's avatar

Oh, the weather people are the worst. Up here in northern Cali, I look at the weather in the morning to see if it's car weather or motorcycle weather. I often ride home from work sopping wet - luckily it's not too far.

Patti F's avatar

Who buys bagged lettuce in the summer when you can get fresh, unprocessed lettuce so readily? I'll stick with my farm-stand lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, etc. thank you very much.

kittynana's avatar

@Patti- liked the bagged stuff, it's only as clean as those who pick and wash it.

SHug's avatar

And the water it is washed in

May's avatar

Readily is a word used loosely.... I have to wait for Saturday market and go in hunt for a popup tent that I hope sells it... where as Publix is always carrying those insta-bags of salad conveniently. However, my attitude my change quickly if I succumb to the intestinal hiroshima bug... your advice might be an ironic forewarning, lol

Crixcyon's avatar

Whatever the "demon" is (I doubt it is a parasite) it does not make you ill. What makes you severely ill is that your body is trying desperately to rid itself of the demon. Any illness is your body's natural process to keep itself well. The "demon" might be some toxic chemical as all chemical poisons have the power to cause a severe backlash by the body...and sometimes even death.

Vee's avatar

Other - turn off the TV and read Jenna's substack lol.

Just like all the other "news" that is constantly trying to grab our attention, this latest one is a literal shit show. Stinks to high heaven and definitely not worth our time and attention.

Can you imagine if this much time and attention was spent reporting on the vaccine injured and killed? There would be a revolution in this country if people found out that the military industrial biopharmecutical complex is guilty of democide.

By the way, if you all haven't seen it yet, Doc Malik's latest interview with Debbie Lerman is a must watch! https://rumble.com/v7chzf2-free-episode-493-debbie-lerman-the-deep-state-pandemic-planning-and-the-cov.html

Roberta Stack's avatar

It’s Chicken Little all over again. 🙄

Steve's avatar

lol raspberries and lettuce are public enema #1. With the context that Jenna has drawn, it reminds me of the context of COVID painted in the MSM in 2020. The reality was that no one was falling over dead in the streets right before your eyes. But thanks to MSM, many people's hair was on fire, and in this case the MSM is making everyone's butt be on fire!

May's avatar

My husband ALWAYS says that "plants are trying to kill us", lol.. coined after we interviewed carnivore MD Anthony Chaffee. My husband will never die from plant induced dehydration, lol

Anthony S Burkett's avatar

I just don't know what to say about people who don't give their immune system a daily workout... as I pick up that piece of bacon i just dropped on the kitchen floor and eat it.

May's avatar

hahaha, YES!!! My kin! A little dirt is good for the immune system!

Jennifer L.'s avatar

Anthony S Burkett, did you eat the bacon before or after the dog licked it? I have been guilty of doing both if I win out over the Lab. After all it is bacon!

Anthony S Burkett's avatar

It's always a battle! mine is a 3/4 Pit, 1/4 Boxer... if she get to it first it's gone, otherwise we share. ;)