The Ugly Truth

"Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth." ~Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels

In the shower this morning, I did the same miserable thing I do every single time I wash my hair: I finished the process with an ice-cold rinse for as long as I could stand it. I do not do this in some misguided tribal tribute to Wim Hof (the infamous “Iceman” who has run a barefoot half-marathon in the snow and climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in shorts and whose motto is “The limit is not the sky, the limit is the mind.” Listen, Wim, my mind doesn’t even like running a half-mile in memory foam sneakers on a perfect 70-degree day.) I don’t do it to improve circulation, reduce inflammation, or strengthen my immune system, or because Joe Rogan insists cold plunging is the key to pain relief, serenity, and resilience. I do it because sometime around 1982, Seventeen magazine instructed me to, promising me that it would “seal my hair’s cuticles,” which was apparently desirable. Armed with this new knowledge, by God, I wasn’t about to go walking around like some homeless person-experiencing-homelessness-looking heathen with unsealed cuticles, can you imagine?

I have engaged in the icy-final-rinse ritual for more than forty years, a time period during which I even held a staff job writing for Seventeen (among countless other publications), so I am well aware of the fact that half of the crap that gets published in magazines is completely made-up. But not the cuticle thing. For whatever reason, I have carried that inarguable fact with me through the decades like gospel and will likely lug it all the way to my grave.

If you’re not offended by profanity, here’s a Facebook post I wrote which suggests I passed this particular fear onto my children.

Consider a few now-debunked myths you probably believed, if briefly, at some point in your life:

• Swallowed gum takes seven years to digest.

• If someone smacks you in the back of the head while you cross your eyes, they’ll stick that way.

• Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis.

• Shaving makes hair grow back thicker and darker.

• If you pee in the pool, a giant red cloud will follow you around for the rest of your life.

Relax. It’s a myth *probably*. (But good God, don’t do it.)

• Your dog’s mouth is cleaner than your own.

• Stepping outside with wet hair = instant cold.

• Eating carrots will give you the power to see in the dark.

• If you swim within 30 minutes of eating a meal, you’ll sink like a piano.

• Vaccines are safe and effective and do not cause autism and anyone who says they aren’t and they do is a dangerous, delusional conspiracy theorist *Jenny McCarthy I’m looking at you*.

If you heard any of these things a single time in passing, it may not have achieved permanent, sealed-cuticle status in your personal belief system. But if you hear or read it over and over, on the news and in scientific journals and from friends and coworkers and the gal at the pharmacy counter and actual medical professionals, it’s likely to set up unshakable camp in your subconscious. There’s even a name for fallacies that become fact through relentless replay:

Where’s the lie, tho?

So when you wonder—and holy crap, do I wonder—how anyone, anywhere, is still falling for the safe-and-effective BS, ask yourself how many times the sheeple who are glued to CNN and worship at the altar of NPR have heard that phrase over the past four years. A thousand? A million? A vigintillion? Whatever it is, it’s a lot.

All of this, of course, is why folks like Naomi Wolf, Ryan Cole, David Martin, Pierre Kory, Joseph Mercola, Sherri Tenpenny, Rashid Buttar (RIP), Judy Mikovits, Ben Tapper, and basically anyone else who dares to speak out against the carefully crafted propaganda narrative have been so ruthlessly ridiculed and silenced. (Worth watching, if you haven’t already, is this whistleblower clip showing exactly how and why FOX news intentionally withheld life-saving information from its viewers.) Can you imagine the world we’d be living in if their messaging was repeated ad nauseum on every podcast and news network on the planet? If people heard on a nonstop loop that (gasp!) we could treat COVID with safe, inexpensive, repurposed drugs; that vaccines were injuring and killing people in unprecedented, horrific numbers; that the whole plandemic was a huge scam to usher in digital currency, biometric surveillance, and complete totalitarian control?

Instead, if you reference any of the above experts to a brainwashed “normie,” they’ll automatically regurgitate what the powers-that-shouldn’t-be have told them to believe.

We landed on the moon.

Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

Al-Qaeda orchestrated the 9/11 attacks.

There’s no secret group of elites working to establish a New World Order don’t be ridiculous.

Epstein killed himself.

The earth is round*.

*Apologies to my husband, who gets especially bent when the flat-earth stuff comes out. For the record, I’m not saying the earth is flat. I’m saying it might not be not-flat—a hypothesis that’s impossible to ignore when you consider how desperate “they” are to debunk the theory. (See Conspiracies and Contagion for a primer on how all these things relate.)

Propaganda is messaging used to influence or manipulate beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors, often through misleading or biased information. (By this definition, a majority of universal parenting platitudes—“Santa’s watching!” “Coffee will put hair on your chest.” “You’ll shoot your eye out!”—would fit the bill.) To say we haven’t been propagandized for the last four years would be like saying Bill Gates is a benevolent philanthropist hell-bent on improving global health. In other words, you’d have to be a braindead, half-blind fool to believe it.

Your PSA for the day. You’re welcome.

Tell me about the unlikely claim your Aunt Marge made when you were seven that you still believe unequivocally in the comments.

p.s. I cannot tell you how moved I was by the heartwarming and/or hilarious tributes to your dads many of you shared on yesterday’s post. I was trying to read them to Joe last night and got too choked up to continue. (I’m all verklempt just typing this, you guys menopause is wild.) Thanks for being brave and vulnerable in this and so many other ways and for being part of my tribe. Hashtag-blessed right here.

If you’ve had trouble ordering this little gem, the cart is *supposedly* now fixed. Apologies this is my first ecommerce experience and there’s a learning curve, okay? Thanks for your patience and understanding! :)