The Cancel Culture Wars Hit Prime Time

So it's only wrong when it's the right? Got it.

NOTE: I touched on this story briefly yesterday, but I felt like it needed a deeper dive…

Remember when Tucker Carlson got fired from Fox News and the entire Left lit up like it was New Year’s Eve in Havana? The champagne corks were flying. Brooklyn wine moms were posting TikToks of themselves sobbing with joy. Twitter (sorry, X) turned into a 24/7 improv class where the only punchline was “HASTA LA VISTA, MOTHERTUCKER!”

You know who was celebrating the bigliest? None other than Jimmy Kimmel, who called Carlson’s firing delightful before wrapping his vulgar roast with, “Tucker couldn’t be reached for comment, he’s already on a plane to Moscow to meet with his manager.”

Karma, as they say, is a bitch.

Wow. How dare she!

Back then, the consensus was simple: if you say inflammatory or offensive things, especially about sacred cows like vaccines, immigration, abortion rights, George Floyd, climate change, critical race theory, Ukraine, or January 6, your boss has every right to show you the door. Free speech, sure—but freedom from consequences? Forget it. The First Amendment constrains government, not private enterprises. Everyone from Joy Reid to your Aunt Carol was singing the same ditty: ♫If you don’t want to lose your job, maybe don’t be a liability to your employer♫.

Fast forward to this week, when Kimmel opened his own late-night monologue by gleefully linking Charlie Kirk’s murder to Trump supporters. It wasn’t just a hot take—it was a cold-blooded concoction. So ABC and parent company Disney hit pause on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” and suddenly the very crowd who danced on Tucker’s grave is shrieking like a parliament of preschool teachers who were just told to take down their xyrs rainbow flags.

“This is censorship!” “An assault on free speech!” “Democracy is under attack!” The New York Times practically had to fireproof its presses from the friction of all the op-eds.

So when it’s Tucker, it’s “play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” But when it’s Jimmy, it’s “the First Amendment is hanging by a thread.” Sounds like cancel culture for thee, but not for me.

@conservativekeeks3xxHypocrites 🙄

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Ironically, now it’s none other than Tucker Carlson saying “the Trump administration is using Charlie Kirk’s killing to trample the First Amendment.” You can’t make this stuff up.

“Consider what it means if you don't respect free speech, which is another way of saying free conscience—the right of other people to make up their own minds about the basic questions of what is right or wrong, and to express their views on those issues,” Carlson said.

One wonders if Carlson thinks Anthony Fauci, for example, should be able to hold a televised press conference where he spews patently false facts about, oh I don’t know, vaccines that have killed millions of people or something, and not suffer any consequences because free speech? If not, where’s the line—and importantly, who gets to draw it?

@messedupbuttrueWay a POS. The fact that people can this heartless makes me sick. And he can get on national T.V and say this? #jimmykimmelevil #whatdidhesay

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I genuinely see both sides. When you let the government decide what people can and cannot say, you’re playing with a very sharp knife, because one day it could be your words on the chopping block. And yes, the less totalitarian move here would’ve been to let natural selection take its course—let Kimmel flap his gums, and when enough people are repulsed, advertisers walk and the market will handle the rest. (Disney doesn’t care about truth or hurt feelings; they care about Tide and Toyota not pulling their ads.) Having a federal agency step in is what’s known, politically, as very bad optics.

As a narrative-bucking writer, trust me when I say I’m a big fan of free speech. Yuge fan. Nobody loves free speech more than me. But the reality is, none of us are “free” to say whatever we want, whenever we want. Not one. Think you’re the exception? Try announcing, “I’ve got a bomb in my pocket” on your next Spirit flight, and then call me from the back of the squad car and tell me how that worked out for you. Or post your plan to “kill 30k people by Sunday” on X and be sure to come back here and let everyone know if your trial will be televised.

I think all but full-blown anarchists (hi, Vee!) would agree some guardrails are necessary. Again, where’s the line? Broadcasters repeatedly lied about COVID vaccines—Rachel “The Virus Stops with You” Maddow, I’m talking to you—and if they did so knowingly, I sincerely hope there’s a day of reckoning. At the same time, I’d much rather see that accountability come from civil courts, juries, and markets than from a government official waving around a broadcast license like a machete.

Here’s what they don’t want to admit: Jimmy isn’t special. He’s not immune to the same laws of public decency everyone else is forced to abide by. (And I know that there are people out there—hi, Vee!—who do not consent to be governed. Which is all well and good until you need a passport, a paved road, a fire hydrant, a first responder, mail delivery, garbage pickup, emergency room care, or a toilet that magically makes your excrement someone else’s problem. Until any of us completely exit the matrix, we are in fact subject to civilization’s fine print.)

A Texas teacher was fired for telling students that Kirk “got what he deserved.” A Tulsa public defender is no longer collecting a paycheck after celebrating Kirk’s murder on Facebook. Political pundits, FEMA and university employees, a sports reporter, research analysts, and a U.S. Secret Service agent have also gotten the axe. You don’t get to have it both ways. Either we’re all subject to “say dumb stuff, lose your platform/job,” or nobody is. The rules don’t conveniently change just because the guy in the crosshairs of accountability happens to share your politics. Gilbert Gottfried got fired as the Aflac duck for making tsunami jokes, and the ocean didn’t even have a Super PAC.

Shouldn’t I, as the boss, be able to terminate a staffer whose public words and deeds I find offensive? (And if not, isn’t that a dangerous abuse of my rights? I bet I could get some folks to be outraged about that.)

Let’s be real: Jimmy Kimmel isn’t some poor oppressed truth-teller. He’s a corporate entertainer with a makeup team, cue cards, and a salary that could fund a small nation’s defense budget. If ABC puts him in time-out for a while, it’s not the end of democracy. It’s just a big company realizing that advertisers don’t want their products sold by a guy giggling about a political assassination.

That’s not censorship—it’s capitalism.

Well, that’s what I think anyway. I’m sure you’ll tell me what you think in the comments. :)

A very wise comment yesterday from one of my favoritest subscribers.

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