That? Oh, Just Trump Prosecuting His Political Enemies Again

Anyone else think the left needs a new gripe?

Some weeks, my job is not easy. (My “job” being this thing I do where I try to put a snarky spin on world events; to find the funny where frankly it doesn’t exist; to build comradery and community through hope and humor and desperately needed levity.)

This week is no exception. I mean, I feel pretty confident in my comedic chops, but you try putting a playful spin on a(nother) school shooting, a murdered Russian General [who just last year outlined how the US and Big Pharma “rule the world” by “manufacturing biological crises” *nothing to see here fa la la la la*], California’s ridiculous declaration of a state of emergency due to bird flu despite zero cases of human transmission, the EPA greenlighting the same broken state’s equally asinine plan to ban the sale of all gas-powered cars by 2035 [which Trump will immediately reverse in just a few short weeks, so at least there’s that], or the deadly earthquake that struck the Pacific island of Vanuatu this week.

Best I could dig up for you guys was this (and fine, it’s pretty good):

A quick backstory, for those readers who actually have a life *what’s that like?* and don’t eat, drink, and breathe political piddling:

Cheney is the daughter of former VP Dick Cheney and Republican congresswoman from Wyoming who supported many of Trump’s first term policies (including tax cuts and deregulation). But after the stolen 2020 election, Cheney turned on Trump, openly criticizing his claims of widespread voter fraud. Fast forward to January 2021, when Cheney basically accused Trump of inciting the Capitol attack, calling his so-called participation a violation of his oath of office. When House Speaker Nancy I’ll-Have-Another Pelosi invited Cheney to join the January 6 Committee to investigate the “insurrection,” Cheney eagerly accepted [I imagine] and was quickly elevated to vice chair. In turn, Trump publicly endorsed her congressional opponent, Harriet Hageman, in Wyoming’s 2022 Republican primary. (Hageman won in a landslide.) Along with her father, Cheney went on to campaign for 2024’s Biggest Loser, Kamala Harris, prompting Trump to dub the pair “irrelevant RINOs” *if the shoe fits.

(Meanwhile, over at Robert E. Lee Middle School in Mud Butte, South Dakota, Madisyn and Haylee are no longer BFFs because Madisyn “liked” Haylee’s ex-crush’s new girlfriend’s TikTok, leading Haylee to tell everyone Mads sleeps on rubber sheets because of her bedwetting problem. Furious, Madisyn ripped the friendship bracelet Haylee gave her right off her wrist and proceeded to invite Haylee’s cousin Taylor over for a sleepover.)

Memo to Cheney: Elephants never forget.

Now, a House Subcommittee counter-investigating the other committee has released a scathing report that, if it had nine hands, all forty-five fingers would be pointing at Cheney. (You can download the full report here and I highly recommend it.)

Does anyone else feel like we’re watching Revenge of the Bureaucratic Nerds right now?

Anyhow, the 127ish-page dossier highlights countless concerns involving Cheney including allegations of destruction of evidence, witness tampering (specifically that Cheney’s communications may have influenced key witness Cassidy Hutchinson’s testimony), procedural bias, security lapses not addressed by the J6 Committee, and more. “Based on the evidence obtained by this Subcommittee, numerous federal laws were likely broken by Liz Cheney, the former Vice Chair of the January 6 Select Committee, and these violations should be investigated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation,” the report states.

In case you’re not up on your fake insurrection news, just a week ago a bombshell DOJ report confirmed that the FBI had 26 confidential informants on the ground during the Capitol riots—and that all but nine of them engaged in illegal activity.

Back in September of this year, the House Committee released transcripts that showed that Trump’s directives to Pentagon Leadership to secure and protect the Capitol were ignored. Deliberately disobeyed, if you will. Months before that, Cheney was busted for suppressing evidence that Trump had in fact requested National Guard support as he has repeatedly claimed. Is anyone even remotely surprised that Cheney’s now been accused of destroying critical evidence? Or that she “says she should not go to jail” for doing it hahahahahaha? (In other news, I ate an entire chocolate cake tonight, but I said that those calories should not go to my thighs, so… we good?)

Furious Democrats [is there any other sort anymore?] are making the media rounds as I type, performing their tired but Trump promised to prosecute his political enemies song-and-dance routine, a sidesplitting irony considering the fact(s) that a) Trump’s been raided, investigated, impeached twice (and acquitted twice), and charged with everything from mishandling classified documents (for which he was indicted and Biden was not) to inciting violence and b) Hillary Clinton is still a free woman. Meanwhile, they conveniently forget that the very same party made peace with Clinton's private server shenanigans and haven’t investigated a single of the Big Guy’s sketchy financial dealings. If the Bluesky crowd were any more hypocritical, they'd need an illegal storage locker the size of—oh, I don’t know, a pizza parlor basement or something—to keep track of their double standards.

Not that ANYONE trusts the folks who gave us “gunshot victims left waiting as horse dewormer overdoses overwhelm Oklahoma hospitals,” but this still made me beam.

Left-leaning media is indignant over the idea of Cheney being investigated, calling it “Banana republic stuff” and insisting, “there’s no evidence that Liz Cheney broke the law.”

If that’s actually the case [*stifles a dramatic eyeroll*], she has nothing to worry about… right?

You know you can get this on Kindle, right?