Pantone Announces the "Color of the Year"
Never in history has a boring neutral been so triggering.
Every year, Pantone—the self-appointed oracle of the rainbow—unveils its “Color of the Year,” also known as COTY to insiders and TSWGTOBSUWWTP (The Shade We’re Going to Be Seeing Until We Want to Puke) to the rest of the world. The selection is meant to “capture the global mood,” and designers wait with bated breath to find out which hue they’re all contractually obligated to pretend is “shockingly fresh” and “deeply evocative of our shared human journey.”
Yesterday, the color czars announced their pick for 2026. After two decades of vibrant optimism—Cerulean, Tigerlily, Emerald, that weird Orchid that gave definite Barney the dinosaur vibes—Pantone has apparently decided the most accurate reflection of our collective psyche as we close out 2025 is the color of unseasoned cauliflower, standard cardstock, and… supremacy. The official shade name is Cloud Dancer. You might also know it as white.
Yes, in a world where every choice becomes a culture-war landmine, they went ahead and picked the only tone guaranteed to start a red-hot race riot.
“Introducing Cloud Dancer,” Pantone wrote on X, “a neutral white that brings calm, clarity, and creative breath in a noisy world.”
(I didn’t even know we were still allowed to say white!)
Naturally, the internet immediately began turning purple. People are arguing about whether this is a whitewashing metaphor, a DEI provocation, an ethnic cleansing, a commentary on late-stage capitalism, a Good Genes worship ritual, or simply the shade of whatever is left of our souls after the last four years. Because let’s be honest: Pantone didn’t just choose a color—they issued a diagnosis. When the world is this fried, this chronically online, this exhausted by outrage cycles measured in nanoseconds, maybe the universal temperature isn’t a pigment at all but the absence of one. White isn’t a choice; it’s burnout made visible.
Progressives are calling it a hate crime. Conservatives are waiting for someone to tie it to January 6—because why not? Interior designers are celebrating because now they can justify every forgettable room they’ve ever painted while upselling accessories and pops of color. TikTok spiritualists are insisting this is a sign that the universe is “resetting.” Normal folks are breathing a sigh of relief—our soulless walls are still in style!
Meanwhile, the Pantone Color Committee is probably sitting in a conference room high-fiving each other for achieving the impossible: nabbing the spotlight for choosing a hue that is at once aggressively boring and also culturally radioactive.
Some companies tried to jump on the blandwagon, fashioning themselves trendsetters for already embracing printer-paper chic—just look at the whipped cream on their sundaes, and no, I am not making that up.
Pantone didn’t pick white out of nowhere—they breadcrumbed us here. One year a cheerful blue, the next a moody beige, then something that looks like divorce paperwork. By the time you reach the end of the chart, it’s as if they’ve thrown up their hands and declared, “Fine, the color of the year is nothing. We choose nothing. Enjoy.”
Of course, the press releases and social media posts are trying to frame this as some poetic gesture—a return to simplicity, an invitation to embrace peace and clarity, even a symbol of our newfound need to disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other—but let’s be honest: it feels less like “infinite possibility” and more like “we ran out of ideas and accidentally picked the background layer.”
Still, it’s perfect in its own way. White is the color of hospital hallways, numbness and surrender. What better metaphor for coming out of the Covid madness? Even the Color of the Year is tapping out.
If Pantone really wanted to be on-trend, they’d have crowned the COTY something like “Unpaid Intern,” “the Pallor of Democracy,” or “Gaslit Glow.” But no. They went with Cloud Dancer, a name that sounds like something Gwyneth Paltrow would give to one of her children. And if this post offends anyone, please know it’s not my fault. I’m simply reporting the news. I hope everyone is looking forward to a new year bathed in shades of drywall, truck-stop napkins, and middle-age molars.
P.S. Thanks to all who weighed in on yesterday’s post on ProPublica’s upcoming coverage of The War on Chlorine Dioxide. I thought y’all would appreciate an update [insert string of laugh/cry emojis]. ;)
Orange would have been too obvious
I have two takes in mind for this:
First, ‘bout damned time white got some love. As a white male, I’m tired of being the blame for everything wrong in the world. I’m satisfied with being the blame for everything wrong in my house according to my wife, and that’s my limit.
Second, you all can stop reading about this now and go back to real life. This is so stupid and pointless that we had a meeting and I’ve officially cancelled it. Yes, as an oppressive superior white male, I do have that power over “our” color. You’re welcome.