Need to lose weight? Try Nobrainsatol!
It's safe and effective! Everyone's taking it! You're a Trumper if you don't!
Midlife can be a cruel, cruel mistress. Between the hot flashes, sleepless nights, and jeans that keep shrinking (without even putting them in the dryer; weird, right?), there are days I hardly recognize myself anymore. Fortunately, while I was perusing Amazon for
cute cat costumes healthy herbal supplements that also save the planet while reducing my carbon footprint, I saw an ad for Nobrainsatol. You guys, this stuff is the REAL DEAL.
It’s 99.9% natural (it says so right on the listing!) and I’m a good person, so I feel like it was practically developed for me.
Sure, it won’t help with hot flashes (that’s what my Chillow is for!), and TBH the sleepless nights *could be* because my husband snores like a buffalo. Besides, no supplement is perfect—but this one is guaranteed to make me skinny!
Before you say it sounds too good to be true, check out some of the reviews:
I signed up for the recurring subscription, and if you care about me at all, you will too. In fact, you should also order a copy of The War on Ivermectin while you’re at it. It’ll make your teeth whiter* and it doubles as a handy doorstop/bug squisher.
*when used in conjunction with any tooth-whitening product
Sure, you can read my work for free. But wouldn’t you feel better about yourself if you knew you were selflessly supporting truth and humor in journalism for just 20 cents a day?