259 Comments
User's avatar
Dave's avatar

"Divorce Barbie" comes with all of Ken's accessories :)

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
John Wright's avatar

This sounds like it could be the most realistic Barbie of them all!

Expand full comment
Mystic William's avatar

Psycho Ex Barbie who poops on Ken’s pillow, sleeps with Ken’s best friend and then sleeps with Ken’s best friend’s wife, calls the cops on Ken, and then sues him for $5M. She can cry at will in front of any camera.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

I think she exists….. just saying

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

😂

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Hahahaha…we would need to request “Attorney Barbie” to make it more viable.

Expand full comment
Janet's avatar

Pretty sure there has been a lawyer Barbie in the past.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

I want an insurrection Barbie: with blue hair, unshaven pits and face tattoos. Yes!

Expand full comment
Carolyn Molyneux's avatar

This Barbie would be very fat too.

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Yes, but is she a DIVORCE attorney? Let’s be “realistic.”

Expand full comment
Janet's avatar

Very good distinction. Her clothing should be totally designer duds then. Teeny Birkin bag. Red mini Porsche. Yeah, stereotypical.

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Hahaha yes, indeed.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

Or, a white trash Barbie. Bleached blond hair , “ born to raise hell” tattoo and daisy dukes cut off to her cooter. A great country song could be included: “ l like my women a little on the trashy side” ( true song)

Expand full comment
Carolyn Molyneux's avatar

I actually made a white trash Barbie as a gag gift for a friend who collected Barbies. Got a dollar store Barbie like doll, added tattoos, including "Born to Plow".. I made her a trailer house out of a shoebox. This doll was talked about for years.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

Omg! My dream girl! White trash beautiful!

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

Where is the Shamiqua Barbie? You know, the baby momma in the hood ..

Expand full comment
Amusings's avatar

And his pension!

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

Geeze... what's next. 500 lb transgender Barbie 🤮🤮🤮🤮

Expand full comment
Juju's avatar

Seriously, I would have expected them to have released an overweight Barbie sooner than a medical needs Barbie if they truly were JUST trying to make little girls feel seen. The biggest tell that they really don’t want that, they just want the little girls to see Big Harma.

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

Absolutely!

Expand full comment
Valerie's avatar

Shut your mouth! They don’t need that particular idea, they’d probably run with it.

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

😂😂😂😂

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

😂

Expand full comment
Pat Wetzel's avatar

Ewwww!!! I hope not!

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

Yeah, me too 😂

Expand full comment
Laura Kasner's avatar

“Long term relationship Barbie”

On my gosh Jenna. If I had been drinking coffee it would have gone up my nose.

Thank you for finding the funny in the infuriating. 😘❤️

Expand full comment
Andy's avatar

That was my favorite as well!

Expand full comment
Pat Wetzel's avatar

Perpetually-Hot Perimenopausal Barbie who comes with a fan necklace and a box of Chardonnay Too true!

Expand full comment
Tim Connolly's avatar

My coffee did.

Expand full comment
Roberta Stack's avatar

I had the same reaction!😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Kathy Armenat's avatar

I WAS drinking coffee… and it DID. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

My oldest daughter was 2 when she was diagnosed with Type 1. She's 42 now, and the picture of health. If I'd bought this doll for her, back in the day, she would've thrown it in the trash.

Expand full comment
Donna O's avatar

So glad she’s had the discipline to take great care of herself!

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

Thank you. It was all she ever knew. We had her on a tight regime all her childhood and when she took over responsibility for her health, she continued with that. We're very proud of her.

Expand full comment
Donna O's avatar

You should be! I have several diabetic friends and a friend with a diabetic 9 year old granddaughter. I’ve watched the various levels of discipline with them. I’m a foodie and can’t imagine what it takes. And you have been an amazing mom to get her to adulthood healthy and disciplined. Well done!

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

Thank you, Donna.

Expand full comment
Kathleen Oliver's avatar

I voted other....I think Mattel is partnering with Big Pharma to normalize diabetes to get a piece of the insulin pie. I have always viewed Barbie as a fun fantasy. Something to visualize some sort of aspiration to shoot for. Ok...we can't have a perfect body, but we can exercise, eat right and take care of ourselves. Or maybe a girl can be a UN interpreter, airline pilot and astronaut. Why not? But why the heck would any little girl want to have diabetes? And as adults, why do we accept it as the norm? We all should do anything and everything to stay off the meds. I think we need a MAHA Barbie. I would pay good money for her.

Expand full comment
Janet's avatar

Did they even ask a young girl with this disease what they thought or just a bunch of meddling Karens?

Expand full comment
Copernicus's avatar

Exactly.

Expand full comment
Juju's avatar

Oooh a MAHA Barbie!!

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

A MAHA Barbie!! And the new Ken is RFK. He already has one of the initials.

Expand full comment
Kathleen Oliver's avatar

Good one!

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

😁

Expand full comment
Andy's avatar

“School Shooter Ken”? Too soon? Comes with a vial of SSRIs.

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Yep. Without those SSRI’s he would just be another Ken .

Expand full comment
Mary Ann Caton's avatar

Once again I’m reminded of my friend’s daughter who cut her Barbie’s hair off and glued it to Barbie’s nether region.

On another note, I’m waiting to see type 2 diabetic Barbie.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

LMAO

Expand full comment
mike Myhre's avatar

I think autistic barbie is next. When a problem exists in society they don't fix it, they normalize it.

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

Truth. :(

Expand full comment
St. Alia the Knife's avatar

Vaccine-Damaged Barbie? Difficult to visualize. Queers-For-Palestine Barbie would be easy to accessorize.

Expand full comment
FedUpInOR's avatar

Type 1 Diabetic Barbie likely is vaccine injured. It’s an auto immune disease. I’d bet money there are very few completely unvaccinated type one people in the world

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

That is spot on!!

Expand full comment
Steven Bradford's avatar

How about fat and lazy barbie? OCD Barbie, Social media addict Barbie? Ritalin or Adderall Barbie? Crack whore Barbie? Ok , scratch that one.

Expand full comment
J. Lincoln's avatar

Okay, scratch this one, too: "Barbie with fleas and head lice"...

Expand full comment
Jon Swenson's avatar

When I saw this story, it hit me this is reinforcing narcissism.

It seems to me it is women who have the need to have some roll model that they can identify with instead of creating their own identity.

To be fair, Ozzy Osbourne just performed his last concert and he and the leader of Black Sabbath were inspired by the Beatles along with many others like Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley.

Dolls for boys were GI Joe and army men, or cowboys, figures boys wanted to aspire to.

Who wants to aspire to be a type 1 diabetic?

PS: Do they have trans Barbie?

Expand full comment
Holadios's avatar

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/laverne-cox-barbie-mattel-transgender-doll/

“Cox said in a statement. ‘I can't wait for fans to find my doll on shelves and have the opportunity to add a Barbie doll modeled after a transgender person to their collection.’”

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

🫣

Expand full comment
Meddling Kid's avatar

Speaking of offending your OCD, which is just a defense mechanism for perfection if I’m honest…is that pink “Damn Girl” shelf shorter than that blue “Jenna/Texas” shelf? If so, I’m going to need to rip it all out and redo it. You have the left-right symmetry fine but it throws off the top-bottom symmetry. Hopefully it’s just the camera angle but now I can’t unsee it.

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

Lol I am almost positive they are identical I WOULD HAVE NOTICED but I am seeing what you are seeing and as soon as I get back from my workout I will be measuring and confirming.🤣

Expand full comment
Pat Wetzel's avatar

Laughing with you, not at you. 😂😅😂

Expand full comment
Meddling Kid's avatar

I’d be curious to see what your tolerance threshold is for go/no go on the rebuild…1”, 1/2”, 1/4”, 1/8”?!?!? I’d probably let it go at 1/4” but would forever get annoyed every time I passed that shelf. This is why God gave us strong drink. 👍🏻

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

PHEW! We're good! (And yes, I have a book titled "BOOBS: A Guide to Your Girls" *I was a health writer for women's mags for many years ;) https://shorturl.at/RMdhn

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

WOW. I just saw a nice tidy room. 😂😂😂

Expand full comment
JCrutcher's avatar

Yes, @Shayne, I also no longer look so closely at the details.

Expand full comment
JCrutcher's avatar

Busted out laughing so hard when I got to the pic of Barbie and Ken in the bathroom, had to share with hubby, then read it all to him.

Expand full comment
Glitterpuppy's avatar

“ complete with cat box..” lol

Expand full comment
JCrutcher's avatar

Ours was, too. Lol

Expand full comment
Carol M.'s avatar

Trying to read and walk through the kitchen ( to make sure the coffee pot is plugged in for the second cup). I started laughing so hard with your column I ran into a cupboard. No blood! But: Brand Synergy Strategist needs to make me a Clumsy Barbie stat🙃😂 Sincerely hope this isn’t about making wearables great again 😛

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

🤣

Expand full comment
Juju's avatar
Jul 11Edited

Ikr! Never read Jenna and walk at the same time 🤣. Always best to be near something you can grab onto to brace yourself while chortling. I absolutely lost it at “Lunch Table Outcast Barbie who came with a bologna sandwich and a “KICK ME” sign taped to her back.” 🤣😆😂 *snort* They deprived me of my representation!! Can I sue Mattel for discrimination against my protected class?

P.S. I was laughing so hard last night reading her piece on Grok that 1/2-way through I had to stop and start at the beginning reading it out loud to my adult son. I got him laughing so hard - I swear just 15 mins later he was on his phone “how do I find Grok?” and then using it to do what? Search for answers to life? No, he had listened well, and simply sat there using Grok to make a hilarious image of himself as Bigfoot with a massive chain necklace sitting on a throne in the sky. 🤣 Boys will be boys.

Expand full comment
MS's avatar

"with the waistline of a juice box straw" - lol.

I'm waiting for Type 4 Bloodclots Barbie complete with double facemasks and a "I got vaccinated" sticker.

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

🤣🙈

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

You mean that aren’t selling a Covid Barbie yet? I assumed they did… face masks in every color!

Expand full comment
St. Alia the Knife's avatar

With plexiglass shields and "social distancing" signs and floor stickers. Complete with vaccine passport and myocarditis!

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Yes and let’s not forget the barricade of police in front of the stores to make sure you were obeying orders.

Expand full comment
Jim Moore's avatar

How about a smokin’ hot US Attorney General Barbie that comes with a box ‘o binders labeled “Top Secret: Epstein Files” that are permanently sealed?

Expand full comment
Jenna McCarthy's avatar

Legit 🤣

Expand full comment
llaw555's avatar

Hahahaha 😂

Expand full comment
Nancy in NC's avatar

Perhaps it's a ploy to normalize childhood sickness, and encourage Victimhood. Type I diabetes used to be rare, but it's become less so. Will little girls start wishing to be diabetic? Oh well, just wait a few years and you can get type 2. It's all the rage these days.

Expand full comment