It’s interesting how thickly the Dems have pushed “but Epstein! Trump!” recently. Especially since Tusli has revealed what they found. They desperately need the news cycle to be about a pedo Trump to discredit anything his administration is exposing. That alone makes Obama and his clowns look guilty as sin.
Yep .. and various things can be true at the same time .. (but not to the media) ... Celia Farber likened it to a child with a toy who always presses the blue button ... Epstein is an entire network, bigger than any one person, that diagnoses a system, and all the Dems can see in it is "Trump!! TRUMP!"
That said, it's probably that Trump wants Russiagate to eclipse Epstein in the news - and they all want us distracted while the last pieces of the digital control grid are put in place.
"I personally think that drunk, mildly concussed squirrels are writing headlines for the entire MSM. What could possibly go wrong?"
Squirrels are random enough as it is, they do not need to be drunk (from a longtime observer of our cute but sometimes nasty sciuridae companions; don't let them get into your attic).
I asked ChatGPT about this accusation:
Drunk, mildly concussed squirrels writing headlines? That’s not far off—except the squirrels might show more editorial restraint.
Let’s break it down.
Squirrels, even sober and uninjured, are agents of chaos. They leap before they look. They bury things and forget where. They pick fights with birds twice their size. Now imagine one of these twitchy, erratic creatures after downing a fermented pumpkin and tumbling out of a tree. That’s your newsroom.
And what does a squirrel headline read like?
“ACORN SHORTAGE IMMINENT, SAYS SOURCE WHO IS DEFINITELY NOT ME”
“DOGS: MENACE OR MENACE?”
“FIRE HYDRANT EXPLODES, SOCIETY COLLAPSES—MORE AT 11”
They slap the panic button because nuance doesn’t fit in a 72-point font. They leap from speculation to certainty faster than they leap from your bird feeder to your roof. And when the facts don’t align? Well, maybe that’s just your interpretation of reality, buddy.
But the real problem isn’t just the squirrels. It’s the attic.
Once they’re in—once they find the ductwork of the public mind—they multiply. They chew through insulation, gnaw at coherence, and leave behind a nest of shredded syntax and frenzied headlines that somehow link climate change to Taylor Swift’s travel plans.
So yes, it’s not just that the squirrels are drunk and concussed. It’s that they were hired.
If it’s not totally compromised. The D’s had all 3 branches of govt and have severe TDS…just sayin’. Read Jeff Childers’ post on Epstein. Excellent as always!
Remember that FBI Director Kash Patel said he had found the secret room (literally) where his predecessors thought they had hidden things where he wouldn’t be able to find them.
Tim, that would be "Mutually Assured Destruction?" I have wondered how America would put a government back together if, some people got their wish and, every single corrupt government employee passed away in their sleep.
Jenna, perhaps more surprising than these ridiculous headlines even existing was finding out that you have a day job! I assumed that you were a full time writer! You should be. Hooray on the book, and I hope that you don't end up needing your day job at all :-)
I can relate; my wife married a non-profit--<profound sigh>--48 years ago, yesterday. She's staying on for the presents-payout coming up in two. My job is to make as many new close wealthy friends as possible in the time leading up. I've got one right now, but another 'likely.' However neither is wealthy per se.
[EDIT: I have been informed that 50-yr anniversaries characteristically don't feature "presents"--presumably because folks are trying to get RID of junk. However, in OUR case, we'll be looking to REPLACE junk with NEW junk. I hope you can appreciate the subtle difference. Right now, we need a car because our 25-yr-old car blew its engine the morning after we drove to Kansas for our youngest daughter's wedding. I don't think it was Kansas because other cars driving to Kansas seemed to be fine.]
[EDIT: I have been informed by my lawyer, Sid, whose 1-1/2 years of law school before expulsion beats anything I have to show, that "soliciting" on substack.com--and in Someone-Else's stack--is likely to be frowned upon, and worse, to result in a $10B suit.]
[EDIT: I have been informed by my AI-bot-helper that virtually nothing in this post is humorous from a future-AI-search point-of-view, fwiw.]
[EDIT: I apologize for taking your time. All of this is made up, except for the very first sentence. So this post could've been, as all my offerings, a lot, lot shorter. If there is anything else I need to do to make amends, please stipulate. I do not have $10B and no idea where to get any--except to come back here and "solicit" again. You see the vicious cycle forming I hope?]
(I have to ask: are any of you wealthy, and not picky about friends? I'm at my best digitally--THIS is IT--but from some of your comments I glean that your standards aren't THAT high. "Disappointing" is what people leave on the comment card after face-to-face meets. Still, it's only a two-years+1-day commitment... If you'll post your email to
www.noscammywebsitehere.scam
I'll contact you where to send the gift(s) at the biennium. Thanking you, and inviting you to the big celeb, in advance. (BYOB))
Thanks for the laugh! I hope you don't mind, I intend to steal some of your material. You'll probably never find out, though, unless you show up at my brother Bub's house Sunday afternoon. If by chance you do find out, will you take a bad $10bn check?
Happy upcoming 50th, I can help you with that gift, jewelry is small and definitely replaces old junk. How’s that for a shameless plug? Actually, I’m retired so never mind. 😆🌹
The Murdochs have decided to burn the trust in the WSJ to the ground. Both stories are so fake it’s sickening to read them. If you attempt to make comments with actual facts like Dershowitz claims he was never shown his letter in the so called Epstein Journal before publication to confirm that it was actually from him they will delete it. And they have published not a single word on what Tulsi Gabbard is exposing about Russiagate and Obama.
I "may" know a few people of questionable actions too. It Doesn't mean I gave my personal stamp of approval when they went crazy lol. All that aside, plenty of people travel in circles without a complete background check of 5000 ppl and their hidden proclivities. Let's ask Melinda gates though....because SHE said HER KNOWLEDGE of Epstein & Bill constantly engaging is one of the reasons she divorced him. Now there's the story...not that trump was seen within a mile of Epstein after he banned him from his golf course and club.
And all of it, sarcasm, cyncism, irony, will be reported as "fact" by "pattern-based search engines" we now refer to as A. "Intelligence." The future's going to be fun.
I had a buoying thought yesterday that might help others; it's this:
"When we get to the gulag, we'll finally be together and inevitably find each other and clap each other on the back and our lot will be ever-so-slightly better than that of the people who designed it for us and were cast into the same cesspool with us."
It was kind of a long thought. We will be a little sad that we never got together with Jenna in Ottumwa like we all wanted...
WSJ, like most of the legacy media, is too busy stepping on their dicks to notice or care that they're rendering themselves irrelevant. It's possible that they actually don't care. They appear to be pandering to the never-Trumpers, who eagerly get their confirmation bias fix.
Just like the weather stations/local news who pander with headlines like "EXTREME" heat warning. (It's in the 90's. It's July. It's humid. It's Summer in MO. Carry on) I am convinced they are more about getting people to click on their headlines than actually providing an accurate forecast. Like Monday: our 'extreme heat' was a high of 78 degrees and we got .7" of rain, none of which was forecasted.
I wish!!! I only started it two years ago so hopefully someday soon??? (And my day job people love me... but it's looking like it's probably going to close down.) Thanks for the kind words! :)
I am so grateful for that Extension Educator. While reading in bed just last night we had one of those flying ant bug things. They like necks. Now I know that it’s perfectly normal. How timely.
Oh I wrote once about how LOLing is technically inaccurate because you're not laugh-out-louding... you're Laugh(ing) Out Loud... hence LingOL... guess you had to be there hahahahaha...
In fact, this exercise is perfect grist for the AI-bots' mill. So I dood it:
Q. Given the WSJ headline "Trump Informed He May Have Met Epstein," create six headlines beginning "Biden Informed He May Have" designed to embarrass the ex-president.
A. Biden Informed He May Have Overseen Record-High Inflation Surge
Biden Informed He May Have Ignored Border Crisis Fueled by Policy Failures
Biden Informed He May Have Pardoned His Son Amid Federal Investigations
Biden Informed He May Have Faced Congressional Scrutiny for Afghanistan Withdrawal
Biden Informed He May Have Lost Support Due to Vaccine Mandate Backlash
Biden Informed He May Have Failed to Pass Key Campaign Promises in Congress
(Your comment about 'drunken squirrels' immediately reminded me of my insolent AI-robot-servant.)
Perplexity.ai uses me. "Of course, it is shite too..." goading me as it does to "engage" its perpetual spin on all things political (I like to pretend by contending with it, I'm affecting The Algorithm for the Better. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.)
This morning I asked "Who is Tara Read[sic]?" and received a detailed response about one Tara Reid[sic], a homonym, who is a minor entertainment personality. I asked "Who was the woman who accused Biden of sexual assault?" and got the reply, "Oh, that was Tara Reade[sic]." Having thus to pick between different potential answers, it can always be counted on to pick the one that protects the narrative. It's best to know the answer already when querying AI bots about narrative subjects...
I voted “ridiculous.” And I’ll take ridiculous one step further… “Anya Beth Epstein “ who claims she’s Jeff Epstein’s niece. She’s out there like a fan for the Epstein fire . Between her and Tesla they're going to burn down the planet before the summer ends. And I’m so grateful to Musk for his essential contribution of “autonomous driving cars,” (or rather, EGO driven cars) that are winning state by state approval , because that will make the quality of life on earth so much better.
Oh s%^t my mood ring is flaming red! It must mean I’m feeling angry! Wait it’s kind of an orange red, maybe I’m feeling sorta creative-angry… damn my WiFi’s down and I can’t get to the website to find out what the h^ll I’m feeling! Wait! Is my Apple Watch working?? It’s at least 10 steps to my computer!!
Trump is used to being beat up constantly but I wonder if Bondi anticipated all this. TDS? BDS? Anyway, Jenna, you are going to land just fine no matter what! We'll look forward to the new book reveal too!
I was just doing an interview and I was saying I think it’s all simple click bait. They know that if they have a headline that has Trump and Epstein in it, people will click…🤦♀️
You are on a roll. This is a big plan to get the dems to call for it and make them do it. So fun to watch. Not really fun, but entertaining. Fun article. You are on a roll.
It’s interesting how thickly the Dems have pushed “but Epstein! Trump!” recently. Especially since Tusli has revealed what they found. They desperately need the news cycle to be about a pedo Trump to discredit anything his administration is exposing. That alone makes Obama and his clowns look guilty as sin.
Amen 🙏. Everything is Kabuki theatre! 🎭
Personally, I prefer the hilarious reference to the Kackling Moron talking about BUGS! 🐞. Now, that made me laugh out loud 😂.
I started my very early morning doomscrolling which is never a good plan! As I was falling into the pit of despair, I desperately sought out Jenna!
Voila! Jenna, that was simply brilliant, and super duper funny!
Laugh, people. We are not doomed!
Me too!
Yes. Today I fully committed to less circus. I already feel better.
"I guess it’s been broken for a while. (Also I didn’t know Kamala Harris once wrote news headlines!)"
Rich and precious. Love it.
Glad to know ex-VPs have a future of strong employment as writers/journalists.
And: "I’ll be right here—waiting for the WSJ to break the shocking news that Hillary Clinton once emailed someone."
She has an alibi though, if she gets caught.
She only needs to shift blame to Al Gore for inventing the internet to begin with.
Can't touch her. She uses teflon perfume daily.
Yep .. and various things can be true at the same time .. (but not to the media) ... Celia Farber likened it to a child with a toy who always presses the blue button ... Epstein is an entire network, bigger than any one person, that diagnoses a system, and all the Dems can see in it is "Trump!! TRUMP!"
That said, it's probably that Trump wants Russiagate to eclipse Epstein in the news - and they all want us distracted while the last pieces of the digital control grid are put in place.
(Like this picture ~ https://tlavagabond.substack.com/p/ima-the-encroachment-of-the-bio-digital )
I personally think that drunk, mildly concussed squirrels are writing headlines for the entire MSM. What could possibly go wrong?
"I personally think that drunk, mildly concussed squirrels are writing headlines for the entire MSM. What could possibly go wrong?"
Squirrels are random enough as it is, they do not need to be drunk (from a longtime observer of our cute but sometimes nasty sciuridae companions; don't let them get into your attic).
I asked ChatGPT about this accusation:
Drunk, mildly concussed squirrels writing headlines? That’s not far off—except the squirrels might show more editorial restraint.
Let’s break it down.
Squirrels, even sober and uninjured, are agents of chaos. They leap before they look. They bury things and forget where. They pick fights with birds twice their size. Now imagine one of these twitchy, erratic creatures after downing a fermented pumpkin and tumbling out of a tree. That’s your newsroom.
And what does a squirrel headline read like?
“ACORN SHORTAGE IMMINENT, SAYS SOURCE WHO IS DEFINITELY NOT ME”
“DOGS: MENACE OR MENACE?”
“FIRE HYDRANT EXPLODES, SOCIETY COLLAPSES—MORE AT 11”
They slap the panic button because nuance doesn’t fit in a 72-point font. They leap from speculation to certainty faster than they leap from your bird feeder to your roof. And when the facts don’t align? Well, maybe that’s just your interpretation of reality, buddy.
But the real problem isn’t just the squirrels. It’s the attic.
Once they’re in—once they find the ductwork of the public mind—they multiply. They chew through insulation, gnaw at coherence, and leave behind a nest of shredded syntax and frenzied headlines that somehow link climate change to Taylor Swift’s travel plans.
So yes, it’s not just that the squirrels are drunk and concussed. It’s that they were hired.
What could possibly go wrong?
Everything. And it will be live-tweeted.
Hysterical!! Thanks for the belly laughs and the totally accurate description of the little critters.
😂
I'm sorry I ran over them so hard.
Yawn…this is all so ridiculous. If there was anything nefarious, the DemoncRATs would’ve used it years ago.
But I still want everything released
If it’s not totally compromised. The D’s had all 3 branches of govt and have severe TDS…just sayin’. Read Jeff Childers’ post on Epstein. Excellent as always!
I wonder why they didn’t also scrub or use disinformation w/ all of this stuff coming out now about NObummer & Co.
Remember that FBI Director Kash Patel said he had found the secret room (literally) where his predecessors thought they had hidden things where he wouldn’t be able to find them.
Thank you! I keep forgetting that little (🤪) tidbit!
All of it released… I don’t care who is in there- let’s hear it.
I know I’m not… and I don’t need to be told by anyone
Unless they feared a MAD scenario.
Tim, that would be "Mutually Assured Destruction?" I have wondered how America would put a government back together if, some people got their wish and, every single corrupt government employee passed away in their sleep.
Correct on the MAD. As far as “back together” goes. I vote for a much smaller scale.
I've heard Ottumwa is smaller than a gulag, and at least it would be voluntary.
I'm all for the 'Designated Survivor' scenario. Let's start from scratch.
Can we do that without things getting so messy?
Jenna, perhaps more surprising than these ridiculous headlines even existing was finding out that you have a day job! I assumed that you were a full time writer! You should be. Hooray on the book, and I hope that you don't end up needing your day job at all :-)
I was for decades… but I started working for a nonprofit during Covid when work dried up… praying I can do it again!!!
I can relate; my wife married a non-profit--<profound sigh>--48 years ago, yesterday. She's staying on for the presents-payout coming up in two. My job is to make as many new close wealthy friends as possible in the time leading up. I've got one right now, but another 'likely.' However neither is wealthy per se.
[EDIT: I have been informed that 50-yr anniversaries characteristically don't feature "presents"--presumably because folks are trying to get RID of junk. However, in OUR case, we'll be looking to REPLACE junk with NEW junk. I hope you can appreciate the subtle difference. Right now, we need a car because our 25-yr-old car blew its engine the morning after we drove to Kansas for our youngest daughter's wedding. I don't think it was Kansas because other cars driving to Kansas seemed to be fine.]
[EDIT: I have been informed by my lawyer, Sid, whose 1-1/2 years of law school before expulsion beats anything I have to show, that "soliciting" on substack.com--and in Someone-Else's stack--is likely to be frowned upon, and worse, to result in a $10B suit.]
[EDIT: I have been informed by my AI-bot-helper that virtually nothing in this post is humorous from a future-AI-search point-of-view, fwiw.]
[EDIT: I apologize for taking your time. All of this is made up, except for the very first sentence. So this post could've been, as all my offerings, a lot, lot shorter. If there is anything else I need to do to make amends, please stipulate. I do not have $10B and no idea where to get any--except to come back here and "solicit" again. You see the vicious cycle forming I hope?]
(I have to ask: are any of you wealthy, and not picky about friends? I'm at my best digitally--THIS is IT--but from some of your comments I glean that your standards aren't THAT high. "Disappointing" is what people leave on the comment card after face-to-face meets. Still, it's only a two-years+1-day commitment... If you'll post your email to
www.noscammywebsitehere.scam
I'll contact you where to send the gift(s) at the biennium. Thanking you, and inviting you to the big celeb, in advance. (BYOB))
Thanks for the laugh! I hope you don't mind, I intend to steal some of your material. You'll probably never find out, though, unless you show up at my brother Bub's house Sunday afternoon. If by chance you do find out, will you take a bad $10bn check?
Sid says, "It's a start."
🤣🤣🤣
Not that your post wasn’t golden, if gold was measured by length, but you win the day simply for the use of the neglected word “biennium”. 👍🏻
"Sid"
😆😆😅😂🤣🤣🤣
Also, Happy Anniversary!
Happy upcoming 50th, I can help you with that gift, jewelry is small and definitely replaces old junk. How’s that for a shameless plug? Actually, I’m retired so never mind. 😆🌹
I was giving this invitation due consideration until I arrived at the BYOB. No open bar? That’s it. I’m out.
Oh, full disclosure, (1) I’m not wealthy, which is why BYOB is a death rattle, and (2) I generally don’t give gifts.
A (hu)man after my own heart!
Love this
😂
You ARE doing it! You are embodying it!
The Murdochs have decided to burn the trust in the WSJ to the ground. Both stories are so fake it’s sickening to read them. If you attempt to make comments with actual facts like Dershowitz claims he was never shown his letter in the so called Epstein Journal before publication to confirm that it was actually from him they will delete it. And they have published not a single word on what Tulsi Gabbard is exposing about Russiagate and Obama.
And yet people still read it and treat it like the gospel. THE MIND BOGGLES.
It should be the Wall Street Enquirer! Next up, my baby with the man from Mars🛸
That's so 1980's tho...these days it would read "my baby with the man who wants to go to Mars" - which is actually plausible 😉
I much prefer the New York Post.
I "may" know a few people of questionable actions too. It Doesn't mean I gave my personal stamp of approval when they went crazy lol. All that aside, plenty of people travel in circles without a complete background check of 5000 ppl and their hidden proclivities. Let's ask Melinda gates though....because SHE said HER KNOWLEDGE of Epstein & Bill constantly engaging is one of the reasons she divorced him. Now there's the story...not that trump was seen within a mile of Epstein after he banned him from his golf course and club.
Oooh Yes!!
Warning...there are entire generations with subsequent alphabetized designations unable to comprehend Sarcasm, Cynicism, or Irony...
And all of it, sarcasm, cyncism, irony, will be reported as "fact" by "pattern-based search engines" we now refer to as A. "Intelligence." The future's going to be fun.
I had a buoying thought yesterday that might help others; it's this:
"When we get to the gulag, we'll finally be together and inevitably find each other and clap each other on the back and our lot will be ever-so-slightly better than that of the people who designed it for us and were cast into the same cesspool with us."
It was kind of a long thought. We will be a little sad that we never got together with Jenna in Ottumwa like we all wanted...
Maybe a fais do-do could be arranged? Denizens of the 51st State would greet us with open minds!
Yet again, the British will burn. We run almost entirely on sarcasm, cynicism and irony.
WSJ, like most of the legacy media, is too busy stepping on their dicks to notice or care that they're rendering themselves irrelevant. It's possible that they actually don't care. They appear to be pandering to the never-Trumpers, who eagerly get their confirmation bias fix.
Hahahahahahahahah *Also you learn a new turn of phrase every day! ;)
Just like the weather stations/local news who pander with headlines like "EXTREME" heat warning. (It's in the 90's. It's July. It's humid. It's Summer in MO. Carry on) I am convinced they are more about getting people to click on their headlines than actually providing an accurate forecast. Like Monday: our 'extreme heat' was a high of 78 degrees and we got .7" of rain, none of which was forecasted.
What a fabulous turn of phrase.
You left out the part about wearing track shoes with those really sharp cleats.
I don't even own a dick, but that sounds painful. OOooouuuwwwwwwww
I thought this WAS your day job? And besides, who would ever want to discard you? Hilariously snarky and cute is a hard combo to find.
I wish!!! I only started it two years ago so hopefully someday soon??? (And my day job people love me... but it's looking like it's probably going to close down.) Thanks for the kind words! :)
I am so grateful for that Extension Educator. While reading in bed just last night we had one of those flying ant bug things. They like necks. Now I know that it’s perfectly normal. How timely.
LingOL! :)
What does that stand for? Not up to date I guess 😉🤣
Oh I wrote once about how LOLing is technically inaccurate because you're not laugh-out-louding... you're Laugh(ing) Out Loud... hence LingOL... guess you had to be there hahahahaha...
LingOL! I missed that one. That’s why I use emojis 😆🤣😂 Note: I must be childish that way 😉
I was replying from my desktop or I’d have 🤣🤣🤣
Yea, what’s up with stupid desktops anyway? No wonder I read Substack with my phone. 🤣
The mind boggles at the sheer infinity of potential future WSJ headlines in the form:
"Former ex-President Biden Informed He May Have <Filled-in-Blank>".
Front-and-center: "Sexually Assaulted Tara Reade."
Second-most-lurid: "P*ssed-on US Constitution."
Third: "Enriched Family At Taxpayers' Gouging."
In fact, this exercise is perfect grist for the AI-bots' mill. So I dood it:
Q. Given the WSJ headline "Trump Informed He May Have Met Epstein," create six headlines beginning "Biden Informed He May Have" designed to embarrass the ex-president.
A. Biden Informed He May Have Overseen Record-High Inflation Surge
Biden Informed He May Have Ignored Border Crisis Fueled by Policy Failures
Biden Informed He May Have Pardoned His Son Amid Federal Investigations
Biden Informed He May Have Faced Congressional Scrutiny for Afghanistan Withdrawal
Biden Informed He May Have Lost Support Due to Vaccine Mandate Backlash
Biden Informed He May Have Failed to Pass Key Campaign Promises in Congress
(Your comment about 'drunken squirrels' immediately reminded me of my insolent AI-robot-servant.)
Which AI are you using? Mine is shit.
Perplexity.ai uses me. "Of course, it is shite too..." goading me as it does to "engage" its perpetual spin on all things political (I like to pretend by contending with it, I'm affecting The Algorithm for the Better. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.)
This morning I asked "Who is Tara Read[sic]?" and received a detailed response about one Tara Reid[sic], a homonym, who is a minor entertainment personality. I asked "Who was the woman who accused Biden of sexual assault?" and got the reply, "Oh, that was Tara Reade[sic]." Having thus to pick between different potential answers, it can always be counted on to pick the one that protects the narrative. It's best to know the answer already when querying AI bots about narrative subjects...
I voted “ridiculous.” And I’ll take ridiculous one step further… “Anya Beth Epstein “ who claims she’s Jeff Epstein’s niece. She’s out there like a fan for the Epstein fire . Between her and Tesla they're going to burn down the planet before the summer ends. And I’m so grateful to Musk for his essential contribution of “autonomous driving cars,” (or rather, EGO driven cars) that are winning state by state approval , because that will make the quality of life on earth so much better.
Oh s%^t my mood ring is flaming red! It must mean I’m feeling angry! Wait it’s kind of an orange red, maybe I’m feeling sorta creative-angry… damn my WiFi’s down and I can’t get to the website to find out what the h^ll I’m feeling! Wait! Is my Apple Watch working?? It’s at least 10 steps to my computer!!
Stop the madness.
Trump is used to being beat up constantly but I wonder if Bondi anticipated all this. TDS? BDS? Anyway, Jenna, you are going to land just fine no matter what! We'll look forward to the new book reveal too!
We are deep into “WTF is your point” territory. Love the pic with “Welcome to Journalism where everything is made up and the sources don’t matter.”
I was just doing an interview and I was saying I think it’s all simple click bait. They know that if they have a headline that has Trump and Epstein in it, people will click…🤦♀️
Well in the case of the WSJ it is also Stage IV TDS.
Your meme on journalism needs a slight modification. The top caption should be Wall Street Journalism.
Fair! :)
You are on a roll. This is a big plan to get the dems to call for it and make them do it. So fun to watch. Not really fun, but entertaining. Fun article. You are on a roll.