Of the many, many reasons the international left despises Donald Trump, apparently his unapologetic enthusiasm for fossil fuels ranks quite near the top. Recently, the European Anti-Trump Climate Emergency Coalition (or something) must have held an urgent closed-door meeting to discuss how to save the planet from the environmental calamity currently occupying the White House.
Director of Climate Affairs: “He’s drilling for more oil!”
Deputy Director of Sustainability: “He’s pulling out of climate agreements!”
Senior Wind Energy Advisor: “He thinks windmills are killing whales!”
Chief Climate Strategist: “We’ve tried everything! How do we finally make this man understand the gravity of the climate crisis?”
Assistant Deputy Undersecretary: “I think we all know what this calls for.”
GROUP IN UNISON: “FAT STATUE.”
Allow me to introduce you to this week’s contribution to international diplomacy: an eight-and-a-half-foot-tall, 23-karat-gold-covered sculpture of a naked Donald Trump that briefly enjoyed a prominent spot inside the European Parliament building in Strasbourg, France. Because nothing says “welcome to the hallowed halls of centuries-old statecraft” like a towering gold statue of some fat guy you hate.
Entitled The Orange Plague, the installation depicts POTUS perched on the shoulders of a frail little man, clutching a golf club and the scales of justice. A plaque explains that the unfortunate fellow beneath him is sinking under the burden of Trump’s considerable weight. Subtle it is not.
The masterpiece is the work of Danish artist Jens Galschiøt, who says the nudity is a reference to Hans Christian Andersen’s The Emperor’s New Clothes. (“Dictators don’t like you laughing at them,” Galschiøt mansplained.)
And here’s some food-for-thought for my “two wings of the same bird” readers (hi, Vee!) who insist the world would be identical right now under President Kamala Harris. [*Pauses quickly to throw up in mouth*] The artist also says that Trump represents “one of the greatest threats to the rule-based world order.” Not the greatest threat to good taste, foreign affairs, or the delicate atmospheric CO₂ balance necessary for optimum photosynthesis. The world order. I guess telling Europe to pay its own bills, refusing to be the world’s unpaid security guard, and treating American interests as a priority—and not an afterthought or a nuisance—is enough to make the guardians of the global order commission a hideous 102-inch effigy.
(Is it just me, or does it seem like some birds have wings that make the international establishment considerably more nervous than others?)
This isn’t the first time a naked Trump statue has been… erected. Apparently, 2016’s The Emperor Has No Balls and 2024’s Crooked and Obscene didn’t sufficiently explore the subject of presidential anatomy, so Galschiøt bravely stepped in to address this glaring gap in the artistic record.
But this isn’t just another craftsman taking a cheap shot at a politician he dislikes. Oh, no. Galschiøt has a much loftier mission. He wants to save the planet.
According to the artist, Trump is “destroying the world’s only chance to counter the climate catastrophe.” And what better way to draw attention to the impending destruction of Earth than by creating a massive copper sculpture, covering it in 23-karat gold leaf, and hauling it around the globe?
Yes, The Orange Plague is a traveling exhibition. Its temporary stint at the European Parliament has ended and the statue has been taken down. Before arriving in Strasbourg, it made appearances at protests in Copenhagen and the COP30 United Nations climate summit in Brazil. It’s also reportedly been displayed at the Munich Security Conference, and it’s scheduled to visit COP31 in Turkey next month. That’s a lot of frequent-flyer miles for a man who is ostensibly trying to save the atmosphere.
And then there are the souvenirs. Because apparently a single giant naked Trump wasn’t enough, the exhibition comes with thousands of miniature 3D-printed replicas, which are given to visitors as “protest tokens.” Yes, the passionate planet-savers have decided that the very best way to fight climate change is by [*checks notes*] distributing cargo loads of plastic Donald Trumps.
I would love to know how many people have dutifully separated their recycling, endured a smelly commuter train, and sworn off plastic straws before enthusiastically accepting a tiny, naked American president to display on their desks. Somewhere, a sea turtle is weeping.
The exhibition was sponsored by Danish socialist European Parliament member Per Clausen, who says the point is to encourage discussion about power and independence and how Europe can defend itself against Trump. Which raises an interesting question: What exactly is the desired outcome here? Are European lawmakers supposed to gaze upon Trump’s gilded rump and suddenly develop a coherent climate strategy? Will the miniature versions inspire meaningful international cooperation? Are they biodegradable?
“If someone is so thin-skinned that they cannot tolerate this sculpture being exhibited in the European Parliament, then they have no place on the world stage,” Clausen preemptively taunted.
Trump, exercising restraint that must border on physically painful, has thus far declined to comment. Meanwhile, the artist himself is practically expecting a thank-you card. “Trump likes gold,” Galschiøt told CNN. “In a way, I think he would like this sculpture.”
Yeah, and I like butter. That doesn’t mean I’d appreciate an eight-foot churned-cream tribute to my naked old-lady flesh.
But good luck saving the planet.
POLL REDUX FOR FINICKY PHONES:
What do you think of the Orange Plague?
Hilarious—I’m ordering a mini.
Stupid—the TDS is out of control.
Offensive—they need to grow up.
Sorry, I’m British.
*combo/unsure/other
The energy they expend hating on him is astounding. Imagine if it were used for something worthwhile.
This is evidence that Trump is directly over the target. You can’t troll the king of the trolls.