You thought bug bars were bad? Wait until turd burgers are on the menu.

As the WEF holds their annual supremacy summit, here are a few things they absolutely positively aren't planning for us.

No I did not make this up like Nobrainsatol and yes bug bars are already a thing and eating them saves earth [sic] just look at the smiley happy planet on the box (*no mention of the not-smiley unhappy crickets)

As you read this, Klaus Schwab and the rest of his self-elected quack pack have descended upon Davos, Switzerland, to discuss the endless list of intercontinental concerns they’ve declared themselves the bosses of. These issues include but are certainly not limited to climate, technology, medicine, money, equity, energy, gender parity, artificial intelligence, and of course, “Ukraine’s territorial integrity.” The Rebuilding Trust Tour (yes, that’s the actual conference theme name, minus the tour part which I threw in for fun because it has a Rolling Stones ring to it and most of these geezers are even older than Mick) will focus on the “core roles and functions” of the festering fraternity—I’m calling it Psyops Nemesis Nu—as it “brings the leaders of government, business, and civil society together in search of solutions to critical global challenges.”

Maybe my invite got lost in the mail.

The unpopular plutocrats have been accused of attempting to orchestrate everything from digital prisons to worldwide democide *waves hand wildly* and apparently more and more people are hopping on the rumor mill. It’s gotten so bad that USA Today was forced to run an entire article debunking a host of obviously ridiculous claims, replete with carefully-worded rebuttals to some of the more plausible likely off-the-wall accusations.

(Interestingly, although the title of the piece is “What’s True and False About the World Economic Forum,” it turns out not a single one of the malicious whispers they reviewed is true. Phew!)

For your reading pleasure, I’ve assembled a sampling:

The organization made no such declaration! (They said it privately, behind closed doors, and also in a bunch of emails that will all be heavily redacted if and when they’re FOIA’d, so mind your own business. Have you no respect for confidentiality?) Also when they definitely didn’t publicly declare it, the purpose positively wasn’t to fight climate change; it was because it’s funny making zee peasants eat zee feces mwajajajajajaja gut gemacht!

I’ll point out how lucky we are that the WEF has no authority to enforce this on sovereign countries, which the US (and all of the other UN member nations) will be at least until May, when we are likely to sign off on the catastrophic Pandemic Treaty. But until then, please continue to enjoy not fighting Fido for your turn lapping from the crapper.

Listen, we all know NASA gave researchers hundreds of thousands of dollars to turn human manure into food. And you may have heard of “green beer” brands like NewBrew that proudly craft their cervezas from sewer water (just when you thought the woke bar couldn’t possibly get any lower). Sure, Japan’s been busy in the kitchen whipping up biosolid burgers made out of—you guessed it—human excrement. And fine, the head of the UK’s Environment Agency Sir James Bevan (who happened to deliver a keynote address on climate change to the WEF last year) has insisted that people need to be “less squeamish about drinking sewage.” But this does not mean the WEF is recreating the food guide pyramid with bathroom waste at the base, okay you big sissies? Now shut up and eat your crickets. If you’re good, you might get some shitscream for dessert.

Experts told them! Why are you even still reading?

Allow me to break it down for you: The concept of the 15-minute city doesn’t restrict the movement of citizens—that’s the Lockdown Police’s job. And of course, they’re not going to be assigning people tasks because, 1) if they have their way, most of us will be dead, and 2) once #1 has been accomplished, any necessary “tasks” can and will be performed by AI. I just hope the remaining ten percent of the population can produce enough bodily waste to keep Turd Burgers and Tinklebucks in business!

They made no such assertion? Oh, right. Maybe they didn’t have to since they forced a medical experiment on humanity that’s doing an impressive job rendering a huge chunk of breeders infertile? Just sprinkling a little thought glitter over here.

The specific allegation is that the WEF is demanding all babies must be lab-grown by 2030, which would sound ludicrous if it weren’t for the fact that WEF fanboy Yuval Noah Harari, who believes it’s both possible and desirable for earthlings to possess god-like powers, wrote an entire book about using gene-editing to create super babies and replacing natural selection with “intelligent design.” (Harari, who is also famous for rebranding humans as “hackable animals,” even taunts folks on the fence about embracing the concept of synthetic spawn with every ambitious parent’s Achilles heel: ‘If your neighbors are doing it, won’t you want your kids to be able to compete?’) Clearly, building better babies is of interest.

Thank God the WEF has no authority to enforce this or any other mandate on sovereign countries. That gives the planet at least four more months of good old-fashioned baby making to enjoy. (Better get busy, kids who still have functioning ovaries and testes!)

There is no evidence that Harari said this. There’s also no evidence that Epstein was murdered, the moon landing was faked (besides a few deathbed confessions from people who claim to have been involved in the fakery), or that Tom Cruise was in fact wearing wayfarers in the iconic Risky Business underwear dance scene even though we all know he was Mandela Effect my ass you’re trying to make us think we can’t trust our own memories and this lady proved it and also if Ricky never once told Lucy she had some ‘splainin to do, why has it become Simpsons-level collective conscious, riddle me that?

Oh, and please note Harari is not an official “official” so this conversation is officially over.

They’ve talked about putting them in our lettuce, have successfully turned mosquitos into flying needles, and have given an enthusiastic thumbs up to aerosolized vaccines designed to “achieve mass and rapid [they forgot unwelcome and surreptitious] immunization after extensive trials on thousands of human subjects.” But nobody said anything about vaccinating the water. [Entire WEF assembly scribbles identical notes, “Add vaccines to water – brilliant!”]

Even though the WEF is hot-to-trot to turn all dollars into digital currencies (and notice how USA Today didn’t choose to “fact check” the elephant-in-the-room that the WEF wants us participating in society to the extent that our emerging ESG scores will allow it), they have absolutely not announced that anyone will be forced to access earthly activities through a subdermal device.

Because they don’t have to.

Right now in the same world you and I inhabit, people are willingly implanting payment chips beneath their skin so they can cashlessly grab “a drink on the beach in Rio, a coffee in New York, [or] a haircut in Paris,” according to one such device’s developer. Thousands of Swedes have had miniature smartphones installed in their upper extremities to store contacts, buy tickets to events, and take the train without the overwhelming burden of carrying a wallet. Or a phone, which already has all of that crap on it and you know they’re carrying anyway.

The poor, poor WEF. Always being accused of masterminding all manner of malevolent agendas and diabolical deeds when it says right on their website, all they want is to bring people together from all walks of life to make positive change. (*By all walks of life they mean that one really nice, gold-paved, guard-gated walk in Dubai/Monaco/Zurich/Geneva, and by positive change they mean artificial children and dookie burgers, but their publicist suggested the softer, more upbeat language.)

I’m not sure what else there is to say since USA Today did such a bang-up job debunking all those zany claims, so I’ll just leave you with this actual video of me, filmed this very morning. Obviously my morning already isn’t quite going as planned, but there’s always tomorrow.

*credit: @ungovernable41 on IG

Would Jenn C lie to you? I think not. Grab your copy here.