Trump Destroys Another National Monument
(*By fixing it. Cue the outrage.)
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I love having parties and hosting out-of-town guests. Not just for the human interaction—I mean, that part’s great, too—but because I invariably get at least thirteen projects knocked off my home improvement list [that have been there for a year] in preparation of the festivities. Fresh mulch? Done. Fluffy new guest towels? Check. Baseboards? You could eat off them.
Donald Trump seems to be feeling some of that pre-company panic, effectively running around the capital plumping every metaphorical pillow in site. And like any good host throwing a massive Fourth of July bash, he has decided the priority is… the pool.
The internet is divided on the details—with the exception of a single shared, burning question: who’s the bikini-clad babe next to him in the rendering?