The “Cringiest Political Ad Ever" (No, Seriously)
Even the Babylon Bee couldn't top this one - and they tried.
It’s no secret (and no surprise) that there are voters out there who will cast a ballot for Not-Donald-Trump on Election Day for one absurdly irrelevant and undeniably sexist reason: the fact that she has a vagina. (The irony that this is coming from the same swath of the population who thinks identifying as someone who has a vagina is the same thing as having a vagina should really be lost on no one. Perhaps Trump should start identifying as a lesbian. That would throw libs into a spin!)
NPR recently asked “three women from different backgrounds” [i.e. two are Black] to detail why they’re voting for Harris. Spoiler: All three (circuitously and separately) credited the VEEP’s status as a possessor of lady parts.
Common sense dictates, then, that there might similarly be penis owners out there who would not vote for a broad for that very same reason. What’s a well-meaning, genital-obsessed group of Harris supporters to do (besides launch an Hombres Con Harris campaign to mobilize Hispanic males, obviously)?
Enter: Man Enough.
It would be hilarious if it were a parody, but it’s not. Man Enough is an actual political ad meant to encourage reluctant, possibly misogynistic blokes to just suck it up and vote for the candidate with the vajayjay. “With the rise of role models like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff on the national stage, I think the left is finally finding its footing on how to talk about masculinity,” the spot’s delusional director Jacob Reed wrote on Substack hahahahaha he literally wrote ‘role models like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff.’ (Maybe he doesn’t know Doug has been accused of abusing and impregnating his children’s nanny or that Tampon “stolen valor” Tim is rumored—and I repeat, it’s just a rumor at this point; you can explore the rabbit hole here—to have had an inappropriate relationship with underage male students during his teaching years?) It’s hard to keep up; I get it.
“I’m man enough to cook my steak rare,” one guy… admits? (I thought eating raw flesh was literally the most machismo move an hombre could make.) “I’m man enough to deadlift 500 and then braid the BLEEP out of my daughter’s hair,” another insists. “You think I’m afraid of a carburetor?” a chubby lumberjack asks. “I eat carburetors for breakfast.”
[*FDA quickly adds carburetors to the “to be encouraged” section of food guide pyramid]
My favorite line from the not-parody has to be this one: “I’m man enough to raw dog a flight. It sucks. Not worth it.” I thought maybe I’d been wrong all this time I *thought* I knew what that phrase meant—how would one have unprotected sex with a flight, anyway?—so I asked ChatGPT to translate.
After the ad’s dude crew alternately confesses to crying at “Love, Actually,” “Good Will Hunting,” and “West Side Story,” one quips, “I’m sick of so-called men dominating, belittling, and controlling women just so they can feel more powerful.” (He’s obviously not talking about Joe Biden, Bill Clinton, Anthony Weiner, Andrew Cuomo, or Al Franken, just so you know.) The spot ends with the least manly photo Tim Walz has possibly ever taken in his entire life.
The best part about the ad is that the hair-braiding, carburetor-eating, women-loving stars of the ad are just that—actors, evidenced by Fox News Digital’s dive into their backgrounds and IMDB pages. The content creator couldn’t dig up six real fellas who actually support Kackala? I believe in politics and PR that’s what’s called bad optics.
The Babylon Bee tried valiantly to lampoon the spot, but the masters of satire could only come up with something modestly more absurd than the original (“I’m man enough to go up to another man in the gym and be like ‘hey, bro, nice form” and then give him a little kiss on the head [*pecks bench presser and boops his nose*]”).
Maybe it’s just me, but trying to shame Team Testosterone into voting for a woman by suggesting they’re sexist if they don’t seems like a weak, short-sighted strategy—particularly when the list of valid reasons not to vote for her that have nothing to do with her hoo-ha is longer than a CVS receipt. The phrase “virtue signaling” also comes to mind.
What do you think about MAN ENOUGH?
Best comment gets a free copy of Yankee Doodle Soup. :)
p.s. A subscriber nominated me for this Fab Over 40 contest [*blushes*], so if you’re so inclined, you can vote for me here. Winner gets $40K, NBD. ;)
Matt Taibbi has a glorious takedown of that ad. Something along the lines a guy knows he’s a man because he can see his balls in a glass jar on his wife’s dressing table.
I'm a male...who identifies as male...in a male sort of way. Re. Walz: there is something creepy about him. (Tucker Carlson right off blew the whistle on that offense.) And seriously: what is that thing he does where he puts his hands together and bows, and that other thing where he pats his right hand over the left part of his chest? Seriously--what is that supposed to indicate? Dudes don't do that sort of thing, man.