IN CASE YOU’RE NEW HERE, Jenna’s Side Subscriber Spotlight is a perk for paid subscribers who have something they’d like to share with the class. Think of it as show-and-tell for grown-ups—except instead of your ‘80s glamour shot highlight reel or the cactus you’ve kept alive since the (first) Bush era, it’s your business, project, purpose, Substack, side hustle, or genius idea. Upgrade today and get yourself on the list!
Heather Burns is one of those internet friends you wish lived next door—because you just know she’d be the pal who would send you dinnertime texts like, “hey, I made too much lasagna tonight, can I drop off a pan?” She doesn’t just support this stack financially—she also weighs in frequently and thoughtfully and DMs me private attagirls to boot. In real life, she’s an herbalist, artist, illustrator, photographer, calligraphist, globe-trotter, polyglot, and “ferocious anti-vaxxer” (instant BFF material!) that I know you’ll all enjoy getting to know better.
WHO EVEN ARE YOU?
I’m Heather Burns, aka Heather B on Substack. (Kind of like Plan B, an alternative...) I’m an artist, probably since birth, but no one in my family wanted me to pursue art in college because I was supposed to be a math major and get a good job. You know, since artists can never find good jobs and they knew I hate starving. But after trying five other majors I went back to art anyway. (I’m ADHD too, bonus!) They were right though—it was hard to get a job in the field… so I pursued several other, better-paying careers, but was never satisfied emotionally.
Then my first son was born at 33 weeks and had to stay in the NICU. He suffered a series of health challenges for five years that Western medicine couldn’t solve—including bleeding eczema(!), which was cured by three bottles of Schizandra, an herb, and it never returned. This experience nudged me to go back to school to get a Master’s in Herbalism so I could treat him myself. (It worked!) I became an herbalist and ghostwriter for some well-known doctors—as well as a pretty ferocious anti-vaxxer, which has gotten me kicked off many platforms, multiple times.
Fast forward and I married a professional artist who encouraged me to pursue my own work. He helped me find a publisher to license it, so these days I create lots of art (and memes).
WHAT’S YOUR ELEVATOR PITCH?
I write a Substack called Bliss and Blisters, where I post meme-heavy articles about health, culture, and life while showcasing my t-shirts. There are plenty of serious Substacks on those topics, so I try to keep mine light and always add funny memes. I also have two Etsy shops and a Zazzle shop where I sell coloring sheets, coloring books, and paintings, and I also sell POD (Print On Demand) merchandise and books on Amazon. My publisher, Art Licensing International, licenses my work for use on prints, needlework kits, greeting cards, calendars, and more—so you may have already seen some of it in your local card aisle (Hallmark, American Greetings, and Leanin’ Tree all carry my designs). I’ve also added pages here on Substack showcasing some of my Amazon brands.
GIVE US SOME DIRT.
I’m a health nut but addicted to dark chocolate and homemade bread. I also have a Chihuahua who runs the house, so that probably says something about me.
NOW YOU GET TO BRAG!
Both of my parents were Army officers, and I never got over the wanderlust they gave me—I’ve visited 25 countries and 35 states and lived in five other countries. I picked up a few languages along the way, too. Some of the photos from my travels end up in the books and POD designs I create. Travel has definitely been the gift that keeps on giving!
WHAT’S A HILL YOU’D DIE ON?
All effects are effects. “Side” effects are just other effects, the ones they don’t want you to worry about because they are just something you have to put up with to experience the magical main effects of the poison that they are promoting. This is how they framed it so you would be okay with “side” effects. They don’t care if you need new poisons to deal with those effects—which will also cause more “side” effects. They’re a feature, not a bug.
SHARE SOMETHING GOOD.
I like this saying, because otherwise I would probably obsess over things I could have done better (so many things!):
“The All Things Considered Rule of Life: What if every single decision you ever made was the right one, all things considered? They were, and you totally rock.” ~Mike Dooley, author of Notes from the Universe
Or for a more succinct version: “Let It Be.” ~The Beatles
WHY DO YOU SUPPORT JENNA’S SIDE?
I love Jenna’s humor, snark, and brilliance, and her subscribers are so polite, friendly, funny, and informative—which sadly is not the case in a lot of places. So, reading her Substack is a fun way to learn about current events. It’s like a little party in the break room or at the water cooler every morning.
WHAT IF WE WANT MORE?
You can download free coloring sheets from my Instagram profile (you have to scroll down a bit on the page). You’re also welcome to visit my solo Etsy shop or the page I share with my husband, or check me out on Amazon.
Please give Heather all the well-deserved attagirls in the comments. :)
The artwork is amazing , but interested in your herbalism “ wisdom “ even more
Heather,
Your petit essay on Side Effects made me absolutely ooooooze with Atagirls! Thank you Jenna for sharing this blessing!