Need to lose weight? Try Nobrainsatol!

It's safe and effective! Everyone's taking it! You're a Trumper if you don't!

*I am still vacating… in the interim, please re-enjoy this still-relevant post*

Midlife can be a cruel, cruel mistress. Between the hot flashes, sleepless nights, and jeans that keep shrinking (without even putting them in the dryer; weird, right?), there are days I hardly recognize myself anymore. Fortunately, while I was perusing Amazon for cute cat costumes healthy herbal supplements that also save the planet while reducing my carbon footprint, I saw an ad for Nobrainsatol. You guys, this stuff is the REAL DEAL.

It’s 99.9% natural (it says so right on the listing!) and I’m a good person, so I feel like it was practically developed for me.

Sure, it won’t help with hot flashes (that’s what my Chillow is for!), and TBH the sleepless nights *could be* because my husband snores like a buffalo. Besides, no supplement is perfect—but this one is guaranteed to make me skinny!

Before you say it sounds too good to be true, check out some of the reviews:

I signed up for the recurring subscription, and if you care about me at all, you will too. In fact, you should also order a copy of Yankee Doodle Soup while you’re at it. It’ll make your teeth whiter* and it doubles as a handy doorstop/bug squisher.

*when used in conjunction with any tooth-whitening product