Kennedy Refuses to Call Albert Bourla a Murderer

MAHA organizes a lynch mob.

Disappointment rippled through the MAHA community this week after HHS Secretary and human cockroach RFK Jr. appeared on Tucker Carlson’s show and once again failed to scream the phrase “VACCINES ARE GENOCIDE” while setting fire to a photo of Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla holding up a booster schedule.

“He’s obviously controlled opposition,” said Karen Doubtwell, a self-credentialed health freedom influencer whose Etsy shop sells EMF-repelling leg warmers. “I mean, he talked about the autism explosion, referenced the liability shield, and exposed the regulatory capture of federal agencies in incredible detail… but he didn’t smash a single vial of Gardasil on-air and demand a forensic analysis of the contents. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.”

During the now-viral interview, Kennedy calmly outlined a plan to restore pharmaceutical liability, conduct actual placebo-controlled safety trials, and declassify data linking government agencies to the rise in chronic childhood illness. But according to dozens of commenters in the “Bobby IS Pharma” subreddit, it wasn’t even close to enough.

“Clearly compromised,” said user TRUTH_420_REAL, who believes Kennedy’s voice is “intentionally raspy to hypnotize boomers.” “He said ‘safe and effective’ sarcastically, but he still said it. If he were serious, he’d have tattooed ‘Vaccine Lies Kill’ across his forehead and performed a live citizen’s arrest on Dr. Fauci.”

“Did he mention that in Pfizer’s trials, the vaccinated group was 23% more likely to die than the placebo group?” asked @PureBloodPatriot74 on X. “Sure. Did he refer to industry-funded researchers as ‘biostitutes’? Also yes. Did he bring up the 1986 National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act, and basically blame it for the bloated schedule we’re stuck with today? Well, yeah. But he wasn’t foaming at the mouth or demanding Nuremberg 2.0 when he did it, so you do the math.”

RFK Jr.’s supporters, meanwhile, defended the candidate’s performance, noting that he dismantled decades of pharma propaganda while maintaining a sense of composure and logic—a suspicious move in a world where many believe real truth-tellers should appear visibly deranged and possibly shirtless.

“He’s walking a tightrope,” said one visibly exhausted Kennedy volunteer. “If he gets too spicy, the media calls him a lunatic. If he’s too measured, his own base calls him a CIA plant. We’re one vaguely worded tweet away from him being declared the Antichrist by a woman with a cat named ‘Hydroxychloroqueen.’”

Critics pointed out that the episode was sponsored by Casey Means’ company Levels, which obviously means he’s directly taking money from Big Glucose. Others noted that Kennedy failed to levitate or speak in tongues during the interview, both of which are apparently considered minimum requirements for proving one’s anti-pharma credentials in 2025.

Still, RFK Jr. remains undeterred. In a post-interview statement, he wrote, “I will continue to advocate for transparency, accountability, and medical freedom for all Americans—regardless of whether they need me to scream their favorite slogan in all caps while juggling autopsy reports.”

Despite the backlash, Kennedy’s team says the campaign is moving forward with plans to end chronic disease, restore bodily autonomy, and make junk food addicts’ lives miserable by systematically destroying their desire to live.