That's just so fine. My husband of 52 years is in the dining room while I sit in the kitchen, hooting over this--I kept thinking, "It's coming to the end, but no, there you went off again"--and so he heard my giggles and chortles and explosions. And is now waiting to finish his Saturday morning book-keeping and bill-paying (bless the dear man) to come in and read for himself. Underpants with holes in them.....I have to bully him over these--I don't buy new ones until he agrees, agrees! that a sagging disconnect of 2-3" between the jersey fabric and the waistband in back (why always only in back?) and at least two holes along that male front "pocket" (does it have a name?) allow THAT pair to go into the rag bag. I won't get started on our discussions of how and when to determine the end-times of t-shirts.....
I looked into this some years ago. Learned that the underarm sweat contains a fatty substance, which doesn't wash out with normal laundering. So concluded that major effort was needed. Boiled the offending garments with washing soda. Big change. Further (and ever better) when we replaced our boiler, we acquired one willing to do more--i.e., go to 140F--and that has made an unbelievable difference in the color of those undershirt underarms. Which, I reason, leads to slower time-to-rot of fabric.
Reading this called up a memory from many years ago. I had bought a diamond teardrop necklace and matching earrings for my wife for Christmas that had cost me a week's pay. Not wanting her to know by the size of the box that she was getting jewelry, I put it in an electric can-opener box, and cut some pieces of wood to fill in the space and give it some weight. The forced, fake smile on her face when she unwrapped it and said through gritted teeth, "Gee thanks. This will really come in handy." were priceless, and forever etched in my memory.
Thank you for another very entertaining post, but I believe the correct terminology is MOST favoritest.
Oh man Jenna, thank you for today’s piece! 🙏I laughed SOOOO hard and ended up reading the entire thing to my husband. He lost it on the headlamp, as I knew he would. 🤣🤣🤣 With all that we are enduring and stressing over in this election, it was very healing to just laugh at completely unrelated things in life. Boy did I need that. Our husband’s must be missing twins and unaware of it. Lol. You just described so many things I have experienced in our marriage. However, I’ve been married 31 years and he still has never planned ahead. For anything. Not once. 😂 Nowadays he waits for the “wife report” to come out before even thinking about what to buy. Your 10-year gift was beyond wonderful. I can only hope my man will one day learn to think ahead so lovingly. Because in my mind the contemplation and planning means so much more to me than the gift.
🤣 And yes we relate to waiting until a “holiday” to but some machinery or electronic we need, just so we can call it a “gift.” 🤣🤣
My hubby is a thoughtful shopper. I hate getting the thing I asked for. No surprise.
So when he really thinks it out, he does good.
Last Christmas he got me tiny silver heart earrings from James Avery. I cried as they were more than perfect! They had kitty paws on them! For my Tucker who passed, and for my Maggie who was new.
So funny! Was laughing so much about the headlamp, that I handed my phone over to my husband to read it too. (Funny also because I bought him a headlamp beanie hat for Christmas last year, for working with tools when he needs light.) Kept reading sections of it to him. Happy laughs during our morning coffee!
So much to relate to 😂. I have an Amazon wishlist and tell my college-age daughter to do the shopping for him. My latest wish was a generator I’ve wanted for years. He picked one he liked better. 😂
A few years ago when things were starting to look bad, I asked Hubs for a manual well-pump. I asked him to figure out what size we needed so I could carry buckets of water to the house so I could make the espresso. Instead, he got a Diesel generator and a shit ton of Diesel fuel so I could run the whole house if needed. And, wired the panel inside the house to connect to the generator outside.♥♥
Though my husband makes me crazy,most of the time,he did something simalar for me…I asked for a hand pump for the well,too. He installed one. Then,he built an entire sprinkler system for on,and around the house, connected to the pool ,connected to a generator to pump water from pool,AND,installed Tesla batteries that run the whole house ( except AC and microwave) including 2 refrigerators and barn,when the very often power outages or California fires,hit…!!
I appreciate being reminded of those good things, as he’s totally awful at actual “gift buying “….
Indeed. And, I’m incredibly grateful when the power goes out,we don’t even notice till neighbors come over Asking why our lights are on! And,I know , left to me,none of that would have happened…
That’s great…I want a new air compressor…it’s my favorite household tool. (Our current air compressor has little umph left in it!) People don’t realize how handy they are for so many things!
OMG! We have fuzzy balls in the clothes dryer, chip clips all over the place, and, so help me, a wine aerator that we actually use ( we buy cheap wine because "they" say it makes the cheap wine taste like expensive wine. Like I could tell the difference..... ) But do you have glass mugs in your freezer?
I think I have everyone here beat in the bad gifts department. One Christmas, I gave my wife- I swear I am not making this up- a.......... wait for it............. paper shredder. Why? I thought it was practical and she could shred lots of papter. Who wouldn't want one? I will never forget her opening the big package with excited anticipation, and then starting to cry. We can joke about it today. Wasn't funny that day. Now I always check with my daughters before I go present shopping. I have a lot to atone for. Tiffany's is the go to apparently. 43 years and counting this November 14 so I must have done something right. Rick
I’m just like you w/ closets, cabinets & drawers overflowing w/ useless things I couldn’t ive w/out @ the time I bought them, & my husband is just like yours. All he spends his money on is books, music CDs & baseball caps so he’s a very cheap date, unlike spendthrift me.
He’s easy to shop w/ because all he needs is a mall or park bench & a newspaper or good book to park on, while I run back & forth w/ purchases to leave w/ him so that I’m not slowed or weighted down as I shop my little heart out.
He’s never been very good at gift giving either, although he is better & sometimes pleasantly surprises me w/ something unexpected. He’s always good w/ gift cards to favorite places so that I can get what I want 😊 too.
You may actually be my twin, married to my husband’s twin! When we go together to buy something he needs (i.e. find it, kill it, drag it home—nothing else) he won’t let me leave his side. (I’m just going to look down this aisle.” “I'll meet you at the cash register.” Not allowed!) On my first birthday after our wedding 41 years ago he went skiing with his boss. We met skiing!!! He called the morning of my birthday to tell me how great the snow was and asked what I would be doing that day. I said, “I’m going shopping with your credit card.” He didn’t enjoy a moment of the remaining trip!
This piece or the writing style (content) is how I found you. Your move to Texas and conservative way of thinking has made me stay a follower. Thank you for this. My husband is much like this and after 41 years I am not going to change him, nor him me. I am too tired to care anymore anyway. Thank you for the laughter ❤️
You remind me so much of myself in the buying and accumulating of stuff. I particularly like to indulge in my shopping urge, when I go on vacation!
I have never been married, but have been in a couple of long term ‘relationships’ of which neither one my partner was
particularly generous, or loved to shop or go on holiday. I usually went solo for both activities. Which actually proved to be a far better time for me to relax and do what I wanted to do.
I side with Joe on shopping. I do it only when I need something. I (used to) get in the store, buy what's on my list, and get out ASAP. Since I cannot drive right now, I do the same thing online. Only when catalogs come through the mail do I "window shop" from my armchair. Guess my XX is missing the shopping allele.
Omgosh! I love it. I double-cat dare you to wear the head lamp as a panty-lamp. Haha. No, I get it. It is probably long gone. Probably squirted itself off your head on one of your upside-down spelunking adventures over water, in the mother of all cavernous caverns. I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Raise your hand! (she says, raising both hands). We celebrated 38 years of marriage yesterday. Turns out, we both just wanted to be in the home we built together. Alone. He did buy me 2 massages and tipped my gal very generously (Thanks Honey!) then he bought me a bag of peanut butter cups (I don't eat that CRAP...I only eat Justin's organic ones here and there). I got him a $5 card with Golden Retrievers on the front and a little cake to split of course (from a healthy store in McCall Idaho). Then we rented and watched the new movie Reagan with Dennis Quaid. Another year for the books with my best friend. What more could a girl want? Thanks Jenna...appreciate you
For Mother’s Day in 1999, 3 months after our first son was born and also 3 months of me struggling with crippling postpartum depression, my then-husband gave me a vanity stool from Kmart for our bathroom. No diamonds, no sentimental “first time Mom” gift. I should have divorced him then, but then I wouldn’t have had my second son. Now that they’re both in their 20’s, I’m still bitter about the vanity stool (obviously), love my adult sons and have been with a wonderful man for the past 16 years who, if he can’t think of a good gift, always buys me jewelry. ❤️
That's just so fine. My husband of 52 years is in the dining room while I sit in the kitchen, hooting over this--I kept thinking, "It's coming to the end, but no, there you went off again"--and so he heard my giggles and chortles and explosions. And is now waiting to finish his Saturday morning book-keeping and bill-paying (bless the dear man) to come in and read for himself. Underpants with holes in them.....I have to bully him over these--I don't buy new ones until he agrees, agrees! that a sagging disconnect of 2-3" between the jersey fabric and the waistband in back (why always only in back?) and at least two holes along that male front "pocket" (does it have a name?) allow THAT pair to go into the rag bag. I won't get started on our discussions of how and when to determine the end-times of t-shirts.....
T-shirts! Hubs is always asking me to sew up under arm holes in his. I finally have to say I can’t sew them up again because the fabric is rotted.
I looked into this some years ago. Learned that the underarm sweat contains a fatty substance, which doesn't wash out with normal laundering. So concluded that major effort was needed. Boiled the offending garments with washing soda. Big change. Further (and ever better) when we replaced our boiler, we acquired one willing to do more--i.e., go to 140F--and that has made an unbelievable difference in the color of those undershirt underarms. Which, I reason, leads to slower time-to-rot of fabric.
I switched to black. I only buy him black undershirts now…and yet, he clings to his now-grey arm pits ridden with holes undershirts 🤦♀️.
🤣
Reading this called up a memory from many years ago. I had bought a diamond teardrop necklace and matching earrings for my wife for Christmas that had cost me a week's pay. Not wanting her to know by the size of the box that she was getting jewelry, I put it in an electric can-opener box, and cut some pieces of wood to fill in the space and give it some weight. The forced, fake smile on her face when she unwrapped it and said through gritted teeth, "Gee thanks. This will really come in handy." were priceless, and forever etched in my memory.
Thank you for another very entertaining post, but I believe the correct terminology is MOST favoritest.
I love the bait and switch!! 👏🤣
Oh man Jenna, thank you for today’s piece! 🙏I laughed SOOOO hard and ended up reading the entire thing to my husband. He lost it on the headlamp, as I knew he would. 🤣🤣🤣 With all that we are enduring and stressing over in this election, it was very healing to just laugh at completely unrelated things in life. Boy did I need that. Our husband’s must be missing twins and unaware of it. Lol. You just described so many things I have experienced in our marriage. However, I’ve been married 31 years and he still has never planned ahead. For anything. Not once. 😂 Nowadays he waits for the “wife report” to come out before even thinking about what to buy. Your 10-year gift was beyond wonderful. I can only hope my man will one day learn to think ahead so lovingly. Because in my mind the contemplation and planning means so much more to me than the gift.
🤣 And yes we relate to waiting until a “holiday” to but some machinery or electronic we need, just so we can call it a “gift.” 🤣🤣
Thank you for the laughs ❤️
Thank you for sharing! I wrote this quite a while ago… We are now at 27 years together and 24+ married and not much has changed 🤣
Awesome!! Congratulations 💖
Yes, the headlamp story! I want to read it to hubby but we have a long drive and I don't think it would be safe to tell it to him while he's driving 🤣
Might be safer to wait until we get home lol
My hubby is a thoughtful shopper. I hate getting the thing I asked for. No surprise.
So when he really thinks it out, he does good.
Last Christmas he got me tiny silver heart earrings from James Avery. I cried as they were more than perfect! They had kitty paws on them! For my Tucker who passed, and for my Maggie who was new.
Aweeeee 😭💕
So funny! Was laughing so much about the headlamp, that I handed my phone over to my husband to read it too. (Funny also because I bought him a headlamp beanie hat for Christmas last year, for working with tools when he needs light.) Kept reading sections of it to him. Happy laughs during our morning coffee!
😊🤣
So much to relate to 😂. I have an Amazon wishlist and tell my college-age daughter to do the shopping for him. My latest wish was a generator I’ve wanted for years. He picked one he liked better. 😂
A few years ago when things were starting to look bad, I asked Hubs for a manual well-pump. I asked him to figure out what size we needed so I could carry buckets of water to the house so I could make the espresso. Instead, he got a Diesel generator and a shit ton of Diesel fuel so I could run the whole house if needed. And, wired the panel inside the house to connect to the generator outside.♥♥
Though my husband makes me crazy,most of the time,he did something simalar for me…I asked for a hand pump for the well,too. He installed one. Then,he built an entire sprinkler system for on,and around the house, connected to the pool ,connected to a generator to pump water from pool,AND,installed Tesla batteries that run the whole house ( except AC and microwave) including 2 refrigerators and barn,when the very often power outages or California fires,hit…!!
I appreciate being reminded of those good things, as he’s totally awful at actual “gift buying “….
Oh my….he went above and beyond for sure. Yes, my sister lives in Shingletown, and I am from Red Bluff, so Cal fires are familiar. Unfortunately.
Indeed. And, I’m incredibly grateful when the power goes out,we don’t even notice till neighbors come over Asking why our lights are on! And,I know , left to me,none of that would have happened…
That’s great…I want a new air compressor…it’s my favorite household tool. (Our current air compressor has little umph left in it!) People don’t realize how handy they are for so many things!
Jenna,
OMG! We have fuzzy balls in the clothes dryer, chip clips all over the place, and, so help me, a wine aerator that we actually use ( we buy cheap wine because "they" say it makes the cheap wine taste like expensive wine. Like I could tell the difference..... ) But do you have glass mugs in your freezer?
I think I have everyone here beat in the bad gifts department. One Christmas, I gave my wife- I swear I am not making this up- a.......... wait for it............. paper shredder. Why? I thought it was practical and she could shred lots of papter. Who wouldn't want one? I will never forget her opening the big package with excited anticipation, and then starting to cry. We can joke about it today. Wasn't funny that day. Now I always check with my daughters before I go present shopping. I have a lot to atone for. Tiffany's is the go to apparently. 43 years and counting this November 14 so I must have done something right. Rick
I am laughing so hard… You definitely win. Paper shredder!🤣🤣🤣
Oh my gosh! I haven't laughed so much and so hard in soooo long! BTW, I'm the husband. Wonderful, wonderful.
Jenna, this is FABULOUS & soooo relatable!
I’m just like you w/ closets, cabinets & drawers overflowing w/ useless things I couldn’t ive w/out @ the time I bought them, & my husband is just like yours. All he spends his money on is books, music CDs & baseball caps so he’s a very cheap date, unlike spendthrift me.
He’s easy to shop w/ because all he needs is a mall or park bench & a newspaper or good book to park on, while I run back & forth w/ purchases to leave w/ him so that I’m not slowed or weighted down as I shop my little heart out.
He’s never been very good at gift giving either, although he is better & sometimes pleasantly surprises me w/ something unexpected. He’s always good w/ gift cards to favorite places so that I can get what I want 😊 too.
Really fun article - thx!
You may actually be my twin, married to my husband’s twin! When we go together to buy something he needs (i.e. find it, kill it, drag it home—nothing else) he won’t let me leave his side. (I’m just going to look down this aisle.” “I'll meet you at the cash register.” Not allowed!) On my first birthday after our wedding 41 years ago he went skiing with his boss. We met skiing!!! He called the morning of my birthday to tell me how great the snow was and asked what I would be doing that day. I said, “I’m going shopping with your credit card.” He didn’t enjoy a moment of the remaining trip!
🤣🤣🤣
Ms. McCarthy: your musings are splendiferous, absolutely wonderful. Keep writing them. :):):)
Respectfully.
This piece or the writing style (content) is how I found you. Your move to Texas and conservative way of thinking has made me stay a follower. Thank you for this. My husband is much like this and after 41 years I am not going to change him, nor him me. I am too tired to care anymore anyway. Thank you for the laughter ❤️
You remind me so much of myself in the buying and accumulating of stuff. I particularly like to indulge in my shopping urge, when I go on vacation!
I have never been married, but have been in a couple of long term ‘relationships’ of which neither one my partner was
particularly generous, or loved to shop or go on holiday. I usually went solo for both activities. Which actually proved to be a far better time for me to relax and do what I wanted to do.
I side with Joe on shopping. I do it only when I need something. I (used to) get in the store, buy what's on my list, and get out ASAP. Since I cannot drive right now, I do the same thing online. Only when catalogs come through the mail do I "window shop" from my armchair. Guess my XX is missing the shopping allele.
I feel like you side with Joe a lot lol… Probably why we get along so well!😊
Omgosh! I love it. I double-cat dare you to wear the head lamp as a panty-lamp. Haha. No, I get it. It is probably long gone. Probably squirted itself off your head on one of your upside-down spelunking adventures over water, in the mother of all cavernous caverns. I mean, who wouldn't want to do that? Raise your hand! (she says, raising both hands). We celebrated 38 years of marriage yesterday. Turns out, we both just wanted to be in the home we built together. Alone. He did buy me 2 massages and tipped my gal very generously (Thanks Honey!) then he bought me a bag of peanut butter cups (I don't eat that CRAP...I only eat Justin's organic ones here and there). I got him a $5 card with Golden Retrievers on the front and a little cake to split of course (from a healthy store in McCall Idaho). Then we rented and watched the new movie Reagan with Dennis Quaid. Another year for the books with my best friend. What more could a girl want? Thanks Jenna...appreciate you
I love this so much.😊💕
For Mother’s Day in 1999, 3 months after our first son was born and also 3 months of me struggling with crippling postpartum depression, my then-husband gave me a vanity stool from Kmart for our bathroom. No diamonds, no sentimental “first time Mom” gift. I should have divorced him then, but then I wouldn’t have had my second son. Now that they’re both in their 20’s, I’m still bitter about the vanity stool (obviously), love my adult sons and have been with a wonderful man for the past 16 years who, if he can’t think of a good gift, always buys me jewelry. ❤️