Divided We Fall

Instead of fighting the other side, maybe we focus on recruiting them to ours.

The worst part about COVID—I mean, other than the nonstop parade of lies, the willful withholding of lifesaving medical measures, the lethal hospital “treatment” protocols, the flagrant media corruption and collusion, and the unforgiveable crime of keeping loved ones apart in their priceless, precious first and last moments of life—was the intentional, relentless division.

From the beginning, each of us was branded one thing or another and then shoved into a public ring to duke it out on a daily basis: Vaxxed vs unjabbed. Muzzled vs unmasked. Bodily autonomy vs screw your freedom. Wet market vs lab leak. “I desperately want you to have this crucial information” vs “I hope you die a slow and painful death, you selfish son-of-a-kumquat.”

Of course, there have always been issues that divide humanity into opposing camps: Paper or plastic. Pineapple on pizza. Socks with sandals. Red Vines or Twizzlers. (On that particular note: I’m overwhelmingly a you-do-you kind of person but if you’re on Team Red Vines, I’m not gonna lie, my opinion of you is maybe a tiny bit tarnished. Do you enjoy snacking on wax lips and nibbling on candles as well? Just curious.) The proper toilet paper orientation. Coffee or tea. Shoes in the house. TYPING IN ALL CAPS FOR EMPHASIS. Tuhmayto, Tuhmahto.

For the most port, conflicting opinions have historically been amusing at best and confusing at worst. Rarely were they likely to get you disinvited to your niece’s wedding or dubbed a hopeless nutter.  

But the COVID caste system was next level.

“You can’t trust the unvaccinated.”
(Second least trustworthy “medical expert” on the planet Leana Wen)

“Get the vaccine, dopes.”
(COVID chameleon Ben Shapiro)

“If you are the unvaccinated, you are the problem.”
(Cocky MSNBC commentator Mika Brzezinski)

“Idiots who think they can do their own research… should not be part of polite society.” (Justifiably unemployed Don Lemon)

“I know you’re vaccinated, you’re the smart ones.
But you know there are people out there who aren’t listening to God and what God wants.”
(Sanctimonious New York Governor Kathy Hochul)

“F*ck [the unvaccinated].”
(Always boorish Howard Stern)

“Those who refuse to be vaccinated should be denied healthcare.”
(Pompous TV personality Piers Morgan)

“Morons who will not get the shot… are all idiots and losers.”
(Predictably noxious Keith Olbermann)

For the first, unprecedented time in history, wishing for and even gloating over another person’s suffering was socially acceptable. And make no mistake; the wishing and gloating was undeniably one-sided. This less-funny-than-a root-canal of a cartoon, for example, was posted on a public Facebook page by a heavily jabbed COVID foe at the height of Operation Inoculate the Masses.  

I have shared it before, but it will never cease to infuriate and appall me. I am far from the most politically correct person you’ll ever meet; odds are I’m not the number-one nicest. Still, never-not-ever would I callously post an anti-vax version of this smug sketch with tombstones reading, “I FOLLOWED THE SCIENCE™” and “MY SUPER RARE SIDE EFFECT WAS DEATH.”

Indeed, the dutiful thought they could shame, blame, and embarrass the critical thinkers into making the same grave choices they did. We handed them irrefutable facts and viable alternative solutions to the single experimental (and to a devastating many, deadly) option; they gave us bottomless guilt and regurgitated, bastardized pseudoscience in return. They championed oppression while we fought for freedom. They wished us dead; we prayed for their safety and their salvation.

Winston Churchill said, “When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” The Three Musketeers cheered, “All for one and one for all, united we stand divided we fall.” And George Carlin perhaps put it best: “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

The ebullient news is that of the two armies out there fighting, only one is growing larger by the day. (There’s fundamentally no such thing as an unvaccinated person wishing they’d been jabbed. If such a creature existed, they’d simply go get poked.) Vaccine uptake is spectacularly abysmal. Folks like formerly diehard liberal Bill Maher and once left-leaning Joe Rogan are spewing sanity to the slowly-waking masses. Little by little, they’re seeing what we see and have seen for the past several years. If we’re lucky (and I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling lucky), lots of them will be as pissed off as we are and ready eager itching to help us battle this beast.

The tide may in fact be turning, but stay strong, soldiers, and keep the champagne on ice. This war isn’t over yet and we still have lots of recruiting to do.

Wishing you all a glorious new year (I’m killing it on my resolutions, BTW, how about you guys?) filled with deep love, big laughs, and endless wins.

Like hard-hitting truths wrapped up in a humorous, fun to read bow? The War on Ivermectin is available on Amazon and anywhere else kickass books are sold.