Convicted Killer Sues Trump for Millions
Apparently being called a murderer after you murder someone now demands compensation.
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There are, roughly speaking, two kinds of people who would demand millions of dollars from the sitting president for emotional distress: those who have been illegally and catastrophically wronged by the highest office in the land, and convicted murderers who are upset because everyone keeps calling them convicted murderers. Brandon Ortiz-Vite is not the first kind.
Ortiz-Vite is a 27-year-old illegal immigrant currently living rent-free in a Michigan prison after pleading guilty to the second-degree murder of his girlfriend, 25-year-old Ruby Garcia. He’d been deported to Mexico in 2020 following a drunk-driving arrest but somehow—one can only guess, really—he made his way back into the United States. Four years later, in the midst of a heated argument with his significant other, Ortiz-Vite responded the way any man who would later claim to be the victim of reputational harm would: he shot Garcia in the head, dumped her body along a Grand Rapids highway, and drove off in her car.
Instead of using his time in the slammer to find God or work on his cross-stitch skills, Ortiz-Vite has been busily preparing a federal lawsuit. The inmate, who I will again remind gentle readers is a self-confessed killer, claims that Donald Trump caused him immeasurable pain and suffering, for which he would like a tidy $75.5 million in compensation. And it’s not just boatloads of money Ortiz-Vite is seeking. In fact, the details of his demands are so spectacularly ballsy I had to read the whole thing twice to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.