Charlie Kirk Murder Suspect Charged; May Face Death Penalty

FBI solves mega-case in record time (just ignore the gaping plot holes).

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If you thought the Charlie Kirk assassination story couldn’t get any messier, buckle up, buttercups. Every time investigators drop another “update,” it feels less like breaking news and more like watching a frosting-smeared toddler try to explain where the cupcakes went. I mean, the tale is cute and all, but the details just don’t add up.

Let’s start with the brand-new headline grabber: