Are You a Conspiracy Theorist With Something (Positive) to Say?

Submit your best, most compelling and uplifting essay(s) for a chance to be part of my upcoming anthology - YES I REALLY AM DOING IT.

I sort of joked in yesterday’s post detailing the ABSOLUTELY LIFE-CHANGING FLCCC conference I was #blessed to attend this past weekend about my undeniably brilliant next book idea. ICYMI:

Sometimes I’m so money and I don’t even know it.

About five minutes later, however, I realized that not only was it not a joke possibly the best idea in the history of ever, but that this might be the book a solid half of the world has been waiting for (without even knowing it; they’re so money).

Alas, you can’t just go throwing Chicken Soup into your book title and hope to not get slapped with a massive lawsuit, so I was taxed with coming up with something that was even better but would still give off serious warm-and-fuzzy, high-sodium, comfort food vibes.

Not to brag, but I’m pretty sure I nailed it.

I know I said it yesterday, but this time I hand-to-heart mean it: This is my actually-official announcement that until the end of the month, I will be accepting submissions for the forthcoming bestselling anthology:

Yankee Doodle Soup for the Fringy, Right-Wing Conspiracy Theorist’s Soul:
An Uplifting Collection of Reflections on the Wacky State of the World

Here are the basic ground rules, which I am making up as I type and thus are subject to change without warning in the future but will probably be pretty close to this:

1. Essays can be funny, wise, thoughtful, controversial, or some combination therein, but they must have a net-positive message. No exceptions. (As you might guess, I’m particularly partial to funny.)

2. All submissions must be received by yours truly by February 29, 2024. March 15, 2024. No exceptions unless I say so.

3. Submissions must be between 500 and 1,200 words. No exceptions unless you are Pierre Kory, Jeff Childers, Margaret Anna Alice, or Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

4. I reserve the exclusive right to accept or reject any submission. Calling me mean names or threatening to report me to the Meta police will not increase the chances I will overturn a rejection. Bribing me may or may not be worth a shot.

5. I reserve the exclusive right to edit submissions for content, clarity, grammar, punctuation, style, or substance. I will run these edits by the author and only publish if the final product is deemed mutually acceptable.

6. I cannot pay for submissions (even those chosen for publication) as I am assuming the costs of registration, design, layout, editing, publication, printing, and marketing, however each author can (and should!) include a short bio promoting his or her website/substack/nonprofit/other book(s)/band/blog/album/podcast.

7. You may submit previously published work as long as you have the right(s) to do so. Please be absolutely sure you have the right(s) to do so before submitting.

8. If selected for inclusion, you will sign an agreement giving me unfettered permission to market/use/exploit the material as I wish to promote the book and any offshoots (i.e. audiobooks, translations, merch, etc.) that arise from its publication.

9. If I receive more mind-blowing submissions than I can manage or fit into a single edition, there may be subsequent volumes, at which point I may reopen the submission window.

10. Once you submit, consider your submission submitted. DO NOT email me thirty-seven times with subject lines like “WAIT! DISREGARD THAT LAST VERSION! READ *THIS* ONE!” or you will automatically be removed from consideration.

11. Keeping #10 in mind, you may submit up to three separate, distinct essays for review. I reserve the right to publish some, none, or all of your submissions.

12. Please include the word SUBMISSION in the subject line of your email so I’m sure not to miss it. (Putting SUBMISSION FOR YA, YA FILTHY DOMESTIC TERRORIST will automatically get you special consideration. For real.) I will acknowledge receipt of every submission sent this way so you’re not left in a state of torturous wondering if your award-winning essay is languishing somewhere in a pile of virtual unpaired socks.

13. [A bunch of smart-sounding legal stuff so that you know I’m serious and that I do my homework so you’d better not try anything shady or nefarious.]

Kindly submit your polished, meticulously crafted essays to me at jenna@jennamccarthy.com by the end of February.

Let’s DO THIS, people! Our fringy, fabulous, right-wing, radical, conspiracy theorizing souls need it.

p.s. For some unknown reason, comments were initially turned off on yesterday’s post (What If Covid Was Actually A Gift?). That has been remedied if you had something to share. :)